Cons

i'm still pissed off.

fuck you guys la.

wasted my money.


i guess i have myself to blame too for being nice.

fuck la.

i wish i had more guts and know how and bravery and not niceness to handle this situation.

argh! >:(

Currently Listening To: Hot N Cold - Katy Perry

Note-To-Self: Pictures

take as many photos with all my friends as i can.


so that in a few years time we can look at them and look at how much we've changed and laugh.

well i think it'll be pretty cool. :)


which reminds me, i think my batch ppl shud take a picture again like last year. sitting in the same position. and if we do it every year, we can watch how much we grow year by year! :D

Currently Listening To: Untitled/Trapped - Paul Dateh

Question

if you don't care abt something someone is explaining to you, do you just tell them you don't care or pretend to care?

one choice, you be sort of rude (cuz hey ppl want you to care cuz they care. how that works i dunno). and the other choice, you be fake and you suffer listening to smth you don't wanna listen to.


solution?

somehow just find a way to care.



crap.

Currently Listening To: Slow Dance With A Stranger - Danger Radio

Well It's That Time Again

What we have in life is based upon moment to moment choices of what we do in each of those moments we choose.We either take a risk, move toward what we want or play it safe & choose comfort, most of the people most of the time choose comfort. In the end people either have excuse or experience reason or result buts or brilliance.They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the reasons why not.

This quote, speaks to me. and in more ways than one.

*****************

I know i shouldn't let it affect me. guess i'm not fully over it as i should be. i don't wanna care. i don't i don't i don't. it's so irritating how it always appears there. and i'm reminded. well, for now at least. by tmrw it'll all be gone, mostly at least. then i won't be forced to think abt it.

sucks to know i mattered. and now i don't.

*****************

ran across some quotes i put up in the closed down blog. pretty awesome stuff. love those quotes.
feel free to get some awesome quotes here.

*****************

i need real ppl. not ppl who agree with you all the time. i don't want to be soft. it'll be painful yeah i know, but that's what i want. i gotta force myself to take it. life isn't a perfect place.

*****************

if you congratulate and encourage ppl for the smallest good things that they do, doesn't that mean you kinda look down on them as being a low self esteem person who isn't capable of doing smth big? cuz if u lift them up for the small things, then they end up thinking that's all they're capable of so they don't achieve higher.

dilemma?

*****************

i think my arrogance is getting out of hand. it's that or ppl just like proving me wrong. they seem to go out of their way to do so. hmmm.

*****************

and that is exactly why i don't give my opinion. cause nobody likes to hear smth that they don't agree.

how lame.


Currently Listening To: What To Say - MoZella

The Random Video Post

ok so youtube has like tons of videos which are awesome i've seen lately. and i decided i'm gonna put them up. haha

the famous sohai vid



amazing coordination



joker n batman :)



the awesomely talented ppl i play with (i still think this is so awesome)



halal (seriously what the crap man. hahahah)



k that's all i have for now. enjoy la if you got free internet. :)

Currently Listening To: Collapse - Saosin

I Apparently Can Talk To Randoms

seriously. i think it's easier to talk to random ppl i meet, and when i say talk i mean talk quite a lot, well relatively, as compared to ppl i should know and should be able to talk a lot to.

maybe cuz i know i won't be seeing them again so i don't have to worry about what to talk next time? hmm i dunno la.

i guess that's why one night stands are way easier than real relationships?

who knows. oh well.


and today was a good day. hair got cut. and washed. plus went skateboarding for an hour with friend. good day. the sun was out too! plus going out later tonight. aaahhh. good times good times. :)

Currently Listening To: Beat It - Fall Out Boy

I Know It's Not Wrong, But It's Just Weird

k to me right, when somebody does an accent/slang that is not originally theirs, it's like super weird. it just feels out of place and very noticable a.k.a weird.

example? when a Malay/Indian person starts speaking with a Chinese slang (the lor, meh, etc). or when a Malay/Chinese person speaks with an Indian accent(?). or even when a Chinese/Indian person speaks with a Malay slang.

it's just weird! am i the only one who notices it? i dunno la. maybe sometimes it's the person who says it la. actually ya i think it's the person who says it. cuz i realize some ppl, when they speak malay it's really weird. like it's real funny. well, that's what i noticed from my sis la. she just speaks it in such a mat salleh way. and it's hillarious. but some ppl can do it just fine. like Bernard. i don't think i've felt weird whenever he spoke it.

but yeah, when an Indian guy starts using "lor", it's just so weird la. and when other ppl tend to use the Indian accent, it turns out funny, which i guess was the main point of them mimicking it which does make it insulting la but i don't wanna be a bitch and be over sensitive (though maybe i'm not being that) and whine and say you shouldn't but yeah. it's just weird la.

i think cuz maybe sometimes ppl try to hard to put on the accent that it sounds so fake and that's why it's weird.

ah whatever la. u get what i mean.

*****************


on another note, it's super hard to NOT be pissed off at some idayots who simply cari pasal with you because your friend doesn't want you to get into a fight or for things to get worse.

what a dick la. seriously.

but i guess i probably asked for it with what i said. aih wtv la.

don't wanna let it affect me.

but yea i'm pissed.


and omg nice guy, my friend, pretty good friend too, is now pretty good friends with bitch? what? seriously? come onnnnn. what are the oddss?? stupid la.

Currently Listening To: All I Need Is You - Hillsong United

What Conditioner Do You Use?

hahahaha. i find this photo funny.


Currently Listening To: Slow Down - The Academy Is....

I'm Pissed But Trying To Change, So In The Meantime

**** inside jokes la.

it's only purpose is to irritate other ppl who don't get it.

am i the only one who seems to understand the concept of control? or consideration?

Currently Listening To: Knock You Down - Keri Hilson ft Kanye West & Ne-Yo

So Far Gone

Late night contemplating on the words to say
Gotta set the record straight
I can't pretend that I'm alright
I give in to the night

She's got me on the edge, I'm slipping
Try to look away
But she stares down inside me
And I lose my way, can't fight
I give in to the night

So if it's love that she wants Love that she's after Don't come looking for me Cause I'm so far gone If it's love that she wants Love that she's after Don't come looking for me Cause I'm so far gone

Been exhausted
I'm so worn out by the games she plays
Sneaking off, you leave me hanging
I won't take that bait
Can't offer you forgiveness
Or justify your foolish mistakes

So if it's love that she wants
Love that she's after
Don't come looking for me
Cause I'm so far gone
So if it's love that she wants
Love that she's after
Don't come looking for me
Cause I'm so far gone

So far gone, so far gone, so far gone


So drained and falling apart
Predicted it from the start
Tried hard to break it
But I strayed too far away
Your words, they don't mean a thing
I stayed despite of the pain
I'll keep my distance
And you'll keep all the blame

So if it's love that she wants
Love that she's after
Don't come lookin' for me
Cause I'm so far gone
If it's love that she wants
Love that she's after
Don't come lookin' for me
Cause I'm so far gone

Love that she wants, whoa, love she's after
Don't come lookin' for me.
Cause I'm so far gone.
Love that she wants, whoa
Love she's after
Don't come lookin' for me.
Cause I'm so far gone.
I'm so far gone.
So far-

Danger Radio

why does it feel i was pushed away just to be pulled back in?

or i just thought i was pushed away?

or maybe i think i'm being pulled in?

we'll see soon.

Currently Listening To: So Far Gone - Danger Radio

Stuck

so which do i choose?

to just leave i feel would raise a ton of questions.

and the party that would have caused it, would think it's cuz of the other party.

and the other party would definitely think it's cuz of them when it's not.


things just change. they don't fit anymore. with one. the other, well, i thought i would have eventually, but it doesn't seem so.

and it feels like i can't leave more because i would feel bad if i leave cuz i know i'm needed. and no i'm not being perasan.

and heck, i don't know if i should. maybe i'm concentrating on the things that don't matter when it comes to that. my focus should be elsewhere. but i still don't think i can/want to focus for now.


what to do? =/

Currently Listening To: Love Is Waiting - Brooke Fraser

My My How Things Have Changed

seriously, other than the obvious, i've like totally become the opposite of who i was.

i used to be pretty outdoor-ish (cuz of BB i guess). going for camps, hiking, jungle trekking and all the other things that go with it.

and now, if i had a choice, i wouldn't go for any of these things.

i used to cycle everywhere. i've even cycled to One Utama from approximately Taman Paramount LRT station.

and now, ppl wonder if i can even ride a bike. (even i'm starting to wonder if i still can)

i used to know ALL the cars on the road. the brand and model.

and now, i just don't care. all i know is a tiny bit of fancy cars.

i used to know who wears what number of ALL the MU players.

and now, i don't even know who's still playing for MU.

i used to collect Nokia cards.

and now, i don't even try anymore.

i used to only play Need For Speed as my main game.

and now, well, it looks like the list of games won't end.


funny how i'm nothing like i used to be and i don't even look like i would have been able to do such things.

the only thing constant was my love for music that just grew and grew.

from the sorta outdoorish guy, i've become the gamer-skater-rocker guy.

i find myself pretty interesting. :)

Currently Listening To: Monsters - Matchbook Romance

If You Wanna Talk, Let's Talk

seriously, one of the most irritating things i find is when ppl start saying something, and then stop.

and then when you ask them more about it, they don't wanna tell.


WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU BRING IT UP IF YOU DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT?

ugh.

fine, you have the right to say what you want and not say what you don't want. but it's just SO FREAKING IRRITATING.

Currently Watching: Babel 1080p

I Like This

so i was on FB (as usual) and i came across smth a friend wrote. i REALLY like this cause he's being very real and logical and well, i don't know how else to explain it. it's just that i think he's thinking very real and very str8 and very true (well to him at least).

pssh. i have no idea if i'm explaining it right, but yeah, i really like this. there's truth in it. give it a read.

i hate malays.malays are stupid!they dont even need to be educated to get into uni.i hate chinese.they eat pork!disgusting!

*the author like to express his intention of naming the post as so is that it is a quote from a movie he recently watched

recently i watched a malaysian movie entitled 'gadoh'. personally, i think the content is interesting as well as the presentation (it gave me a theatrical kind of feeling after i watch the movie)
anyway, the issue tackled in the movie is basically on racism, facism and all those stuff related those words. i remember someone once told me that racism in malaysia is overrated. it is just being amplified by media and old people's talk. the young ones are actually uniting under one umbrella regardless of skin color, eye size, height, body odour, hair style or race.but sadly, i hardly think so.

being a born malay, i was destined to be able to mix around malays easily.sometimes unconsciously.it is so hard to break the bond and just hop to another group of friends with different races (though i personally think that this is mostly due to language constraint.malays generally suck in english and they often think that the chinese sounds superior when they converse in english even if some of them speaks ah beng slang).but what makes it even harder to leave the malay group is how hard it is to be accepted in another group - in this case, another race group.its hard to mix in with the chinese because they prefer to speak mandarin/cantonese/hokkien

/whatever-chinese-slang that they use.maybe thats why malays who understand mandarin mix well with the chinese.

its hard to mix in with the indian because they are too busy trying to mix in with the chinese(since the word chindian is synonym to coolness and hotness at the same time).its hard to mix in with white people because they think asians can't speak english and for some reason every asian just have to know 'arigato'.its hard to mix in with black people because when we talk to them in english, they just have to be ludacris.

generally, it is hard to mix in with anyone.that's why you rarely see tigers playing around with hyenas.it is by nature that everyone have their own soft spot towards their own species.but sometimes being too immersed with this nature might be stopping everyone from looking ahead, from enjoying what life really offers.sure that there are certain constrains that some races feel 'uncomfortable' with but still, that is not an excuse to be left out from the world.once in a while try to do something out of the ordinary.

imagine a world without indian.there would never be curry.imagine a world without white people.there wouldnt be hollywood.imagine a world without arab.there wouldnt be al-jazeera.imagine a world without japanese..there wouldnt be porn.(there are a lot more better examples than what i just provided, but i guess you smartasses could figure it out yourselves)see?we are actually in need of each other.so why arent everyone shaking hands rather than hiding in their own group?

lets be honest.some of the most important person in my life are not even my own race.and i dont regret that.some people ask me why do i hang out with these guys?usually i would answer because i want to try something else.i've been living, growing up with malays for 18 years of my life.why not try spending a year with indians?why not spend a year with black people?taste their food, talk their talk, walk their walk, understand what to they see as home.

it pisses me off when i read something about freud's research saying that white people carries superior genes compared to asians.screw freud.we stand on the same ground.we eat the same food.we throw away the same food.so why bother comparing genes?just because asians are shorter than white people so asians are inferior?

anyway, this is just another session of my ranting because i can't get enough sleep and im pissed of with something(which the author would not reveal in this post).

anyway, watch gadoh (with subtitles if some of you dont understand mandarin)

the only part i may disagree on is the indians being too busy mixing with the chinese cuz chindian is hot. well that's for me of course. i mix with ppl who can and want to speak english, which happen to be chinese. so yeah that's me.

what do you think about his thoughts?

Currently Listening To: Hoopes I Did It Again - Relient K

Once Again, What Holidays?

so this holidays i have:

Solidworks Design Task 2
EMTH271 Assignment 1
227 Lab Report
224 Long Lab Report
CMSA Cyber Games
Band Prac + Ballroom Check
Malam Stuff

ALL in the 2 weeks

so seriously, what holidays? seems like no time to do anything else also. so how to do everything else??

:(

Currently Listening To: Darkshines - Muse

Something's Not Right But I Can't Place My Finger On It

k so i created my third wallpaper. but somehow, it kinda looks okay, but just doesn't feel right. but i dunno what.


so take a look. and let me know what you think. i personally don't like the way the main pic turned out. and for the verbs, i wanted more, but din know what else i could put. plus i'm not sure if i wanna list them or just randomly put them overlapping each other with the last one over everything and in red as well. plus choosing the fonts itself gave me such a headache but i settled for what you see. i think the blend of the picture to the black area cud have probably be done better.

maybe if i actually knew how to use photoshop instead of simply trying stuff it could have turned out exactly how i wanted. but yeah.

what's puzzling is how when i create stuff, ppl tend to like it more than i do. it feels like somehow it cud have been better, but ppl tend to like it as it is. an example, my current FB profile pic. i really think it could have been way better. but somehow ppl like it.

maybe it's cuz i had a picture of how it's supposed to turn out like. so knowing that, i'm not happy with what i got. and others, well, they weren't expecting anything i guess. hmm.

but yeah.

k tell me what you think.

p.s.: you're supposed to tell me WHY you got the joke la, not whether you did or did not. tell me what you understand from the "joke". cuz there's ppl who say they got the joke, but totally didn't get it. so yeah, WHAT did you get? hmm.

Currently Listening To: One Man Drinking Games - Mayday Parade

My Most Frustrating Joke EVER

somehow it seems like this joke noone can get (except smart ppl like Gloria. thanks Glo for getting it! :D ). and it's so frustrating! trust me, when someone doesn't get your joke, it's not cool man.

anyway, here's the thing, i'll tell the joke, and then you tell me what u understand from it k. leave a comment. and it must be the first thing that came to your mind. no cheating and looking what other people answered b4 answering.



Q: When are your eyes not eyes?

















A: When the wind makes them water.



ok! comment away! do you get it? or do you think you get it?

Currently Listening To: Breakin' - The All American Rejects

I Give Up

cuz i'm seriously too lazy to be bothered.

i try. seriously i do. but if you don't want me (to), i'm going to leave it.

there IS other people.

this is why i end up nonchalant.


and to you. i don't respect you because you don't respect me. i know you don't like me. and with recent days and the way u've been recently, i'm growing not to like you too. i know how fake you can be. but if i can withstand this for so long now, i believe i can go on. why? because when it comes to people like you, i'm better at being fake. but just to you. other people don't deseve it as much as you.

remember, i don't see who you want others to see, i see the real you. the twitch in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, the intonations, the words you use and how you use them, they all mean something. and these things, try as you might, you can't control it.

so, to you, you and that subject, i give up on. it's a good thing both parties won't care. you won't notice, but i will.

being care-less is like being free. :)

Currently Listening To: Every Day - Ten Second Epic

I Love Futsal

i absolutely love playing futsal here. it's an utter joy i tell you.

it's like total enjoyment. and i'm faaaarrrr from good at playing football. but yet it' so fun.

why? cuz of the awesome ppl who play. everyone funny reactions and everything la.

at least once during the game smth will happen that will make everyone laugh.

i think that's why it's fun also. everyone is laughing and playing.

possibly also cuz i don't take winning seriously. so even if my teams loses i still have tons of fun playing the fun ppl i play with. but i still try my best.

isn't gr8 when you can try your best, fail, but still have the time of your life?

well i think it's gr8. :)

Currently Listening To: America's Suitehearts - Fall Out Boy

Biggest Mistake Of My Life

i should have gone to watch Iiro Rantala and his Trio. this is by far the biggest mistake and the biggest regret of my life. :(

30 bucks is cheap for a show. if only i knew that. plus they're damn good.

arrgghh. i think i regret more reading what Deb said about it. damn she made it sound so good. plus they got photos and autographs.

craps.

biggest mistake of my life!

Currently Listening To: Hot N Cold - Katy Perry

Emo People

they piss me off. like seriously. i just realised how annoying it is.

and note, when i say emo people. i mean those types who sit and brood and whine ALL THE FREAKING TIME. this doesn't include when normal ppl have a down time.

but seriously, they are so annoying. thank goodness i grew up and left that phase. but i shall still apologize for being emo last time and no doubt being freaking annoying. man was i irritating.

actually right,when i say they, i actually mean one fella la. this guy, every single freaking day has some emo thing to post as his status update on FB. and everyday he's sad. it's actually gotten to the point it's annoying. sheesh. let it go man. whatever it is. it's not worth it. start living life. enjoy!

being an emo kid is so not cool. u should at least try like ppl i know to not be emo. u wanna look emo, fine. just don't act all emo ALL THE TIME. it's annoying.

but seriously, damn i must have been so annoying last time.

yes, apparently i am heartless too. deal with it. >:)

Currently Listening To: Disturbia - The Cab

Other Alcohols>Beer

just because you get to keep your abs

Currently Listening To: Weightless - All Time Low

I Miss My Sister

i really do. and i knew i would. like i said in a post b4 i left.

i miss her lame jokes
i miss bullying her
i miss lepaking with her
i miss jamming with her. (tho we only really properly did Check Yes Juliet)
i miss picking her up from school. (cuz it gave me a reason to drive)
i miss how she would "apologize" to the drivers that have to move out of the fast lane to make way for me.
i miss how she would get irritated for me using noob so much that'll she'll use it in a burst against me.
i miss walking around in the mall with her and pointing out random strangers and making fun of them and calling them nerds.
i miss how it irritates her so much when i do that and how she'll say i'm so mean and how she'll tell other ppl how mean i'm being.
i miss the way she then tries to find ways to call me a nerd.


hayooooo. i miss my sister la. :( how to not miss her when she's so cool?

nvm, a few months time i get to see her. yeay! :D

Currently Listening To: Running From Lions - All Time Low

Save Save Save!

for a guy who is supposed to be saving, i spent 32 bucks altogether tonight.

5 bucks for ticket and the rest on drinks.

crap la. save save save!

shud have just spent that 30 bucks to go watch Iiro Rantala.

but then again, i dun regret going. and i regret not going Iiro.

so if i dun wanna regret, i should spend more.

gr8.

oh a stranger at Coyote said i look like Taboo from BEP. 3rd tme now. must really look like him then. haha

k la. it's freaking late. i shud go sleep now. makes sense since head feels heavy.


p.s.: band prac is sooo gonna be crap tmrw. everyones gonna be wasted as. hahaha

Currently Listening To: Shit Catapult - Iiro Rantala New Trio

Name The Nameless

i just realised, for more than a year and a half up til now, not once have i heard anyone say her name.

not ONCE. like seriously.

ok fine, the lecturer did call out her name to answer questions. but that's it! (assuming she is the one who answered the question. don't blame me! i sat at the back so couldn't see.)

haven't heard any of her friends call her name.

so, maybe, she has another name! that's not official.

but no, i prob would have heard that name.

interesting how some people can be nameless.

of course all this assuming i got her name right last year. but i'm sure! hundred percent!

plus i don't think i'm that blur to not notice. i tend to notice this stuff ok. lols


k random. i know. i'm just finding excuses to take breaks from my online quiz now. haha.

crap quiz tmrw too. and weird situations happening around me. really can't understand why certain ppl are acting that way.

and why certain ppl who read my blog and know i when ppl make up excuses still wanna try. haiz. oh well, don't wanna linger on it la anyway.

and k, seriously, i gotta post up the stuff i wanna post b4 it becomes irrelevant to post anymore.


oh and comp died again. but hardly feeling the effects. think i got used to it. now can concentrate on studying. hahahaha. damn i sound like a nerd. yucks.

which brings me to think, what is a nerd anyway. officially. k let's go check.

Nerd (pronounced /ˈnɜrd/) is a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests rather than engaging in more social or popular activities. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers or will tend to associate with like-minded people

wikipedia definition. hmmm. ok definitely don't wanna be a nerd. brrr. so for now i'll just say i'll study for the sake of passing my next quiz la. haha.



aaaahh man i'm crapping so much. k here's the plan. finish the online quiz. go get dinner. camp in library to finish studying for tmrws quiz. gr8. now go!

byes!

p.s.: Mayday Parade's The Silence - pretty good stuff. i like Anywhere But Here better tho.

Currently Listening To: The Silence - Mayday Parade

Promotion

It STILL pisses me off how the undeserving get promoted and awarded, while those who deserve it more get forgotten.

like someone once said to me, "open your eyes to the things you do not see"

granted i may not know who does deserve the promotions and stuff, but who doesn't deserve, anyone who knows can clearly say so.

nothing is what it seems.


so irritated by the way ppl get away with stuff just cuz "administration" doesn't know shit.



on a side note, i think it's called ironic when someone who wants justice sides with someone who continously fucks screws up and gets away with it citing the same stupid reasons over and over again.

congrats. you know who you are.

Currently Listening To: Breaking - Anberlin

Don't Ask Me, Ask My Body

looks at the snacks i eat la.


the yoghurt, there's 5 more in the fridge. the tupperware is filled with awesome popcorn. the kit kat, the other pack is finished and there's barely any left in this pack.

so despite all the snacks i eat, i don't get fat. what rubbish.

why?

don't ask me, ask my body.

ish.

Currently Listening To: A Decade Under The Influence - Taking Back Sunday

Change To Dependance

i realise i'm needing ppl a lot. not good not good.

but haih, now i'm stuck. i want to know what exactly i should say. but nobody knows this about me. and i guess i don't really want anyone to know either.

but i need someone to ask! so i don't make a fool of myself. grrrr.

but thinking back, those days when i just did whatever i wanted were the days that were really fulfilling.


arrgghhh. so here goes!

don't regret this ben, you clearly don't know what you're doing.

Currently Listening To: Guilty - Rasmus

Uknowingly Ignored

u know it's kinda funny, we both CLEARLY know each other. but each time we see each other now, it's like i never met her.

and it's actually come to the point that it's actually like we didn't meet at all. it feels that way.

and if i just realised this after the moment we glanced at each other and looked away. and i thought to myself, hey don't i know her?

funny, apparently, if u ignore someone long and hard enough, they actually disappear somewhat from your head.

cool. :)

Currently Listening To: Forgiven - Relient K

Anywhere But Here

Tonight it's the one thing left
And I haven't said it yet
I'm falling, and the writing's on the wall

Today was misery
And I just can't believe this happened
And I finally broke down

She held on to my heart
But now my only star is falling,
And it's burning to the ground

Now i cry it out...

Secret love my escape
Take me far far away
Secret love are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here

Anywhere but here...

You're all I've got right now
Noone else figures out this feeling,
and how lonely it can get

These words can cut right through
Cause all along I knew you're sorry
But you haven't said it yet

But i won't forget..

Secret love my escape
Take me far far away
Secret love are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here

When we're together,
Thoughts of her disappear
If i fell to pieces, you'd heal this pain i feel

Secret love my escape
Take me far far away
Secret love are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?

Secret love my escape
Take me far far away
Secret love are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here

Anywhere but here...

Mayday Parade

they sound good so far. i like. :)

Currently Listening To: Anywhere But Here - Mayday Parade

My Brain Thinks It's Chinese

seriously. kind of a funny story that happened the other day.

k just for those who don't know, most of my friends that i hang around with are mostly chinese, ever since secondary school. i dunno why. it's just like that. i prob fit in better with them. and most of them are those who speak english mostly. i suspect that's why i can fit in with them cuz i only speak english and not tamil. so naturally, i have a tendency to stick to ppl who can speak english. and now i realise that it's not just chinese ppl, but anyone who can speak english i can fit in. just so happen there are more chinese ppl who speak english more. k that's the background

ANYWAY! so here's what happened. some minister came to Chch la. so i got invited to go for this sorta big dinner that he wanted to have to meet the Canterbury students. so when we reach there, it ended up that ppl mostly ended up sitting with their own race a.k.a the Chinese sat with themselves and the Malays also sorta sat with themselves. you can guess where i initially sat la.

then i'm there like crap, i don't like this, we should mix around and not just sit among ourselves. so i was telling YL that we should change where were sitting cuz it's so weird that all the Chinese were sitting together. then he turned and was like, why u so worried for? u can sit anywhere and u'd be mixing la (cuz i'm like the only Indian there). lol.

and that's when i realised my brain actually thinks it's Chinese due to the constant hanging out with my Chinese friends. see! told u my brain is going crazy. Brain! ure Indian okay! get that right! sheesh. cacat thing. haha.

and thinkin about this made me think abt smth else i was thinking about last time. u know how i tend to be the only Indian guy among friends, i wonder if it's really obvious. i mean like, most of the time from my view everyone around me is like almost the same. like nobody stands out that obviously. so it's like what if it's from someone elses view? or at least when i'm around my Chinese friends. do i stand out. cuz clearly there's no denying that i was born with skin darker than my friends. so i wonder if like real obvious.

like if you see it from their eyes, is the dark skinned friend standing out among the fair skinned friends? i mean i really dunno, cuz for me, it's just all fair skinned friends, so noone is standing out. so i wonder if i stand out that way. hmmmm.

ok crap. i dunno if i made sense again. so yeah. just some thoughts. :) byes! i shud study now.

Currently Listening To: Over My Head (Better Off Dead) - Sum 41

I Am Too Smart For My Own Good

because i can't con myself into believing things i want to believe. guess i'm too logical.

because my brain doesn't listen to me anymore. it automatically does what needs to be done to keep me sane. it hides things from me.

because i prepare for every possible situations and automatically try and fix the messed up situations. prob why ppl say i'm a good liar. well mafia proved that anyway.

because i don't think of just what i'm thinking. i'm thinking of what you're thinking. and how you would react.

and all these things, somehow manage to balance out for good and bad and keep me alive and sane.



why am i posting this?

my brain told me to do so. i swear it's taking over.

oh and if u were wondering, yes i am crazy. :D

Currently Listening To: Famous - Puddle Of Mudd

Before I Finally Leave, I Think I'll Leave The Truth And Go

Who You Are Without Me - Kate Voegele

Who You Are Without Me

Put me up on your pedestal
I’ve got nowhere to go but down
You expect the impossible
And it’s too much to carry around

Well you tell me I’m beautiful
It feels empty and I don’t know why
But it seems that you’re searching me
For something you’re not going to find

I’m not your anchor so don’t hold on
I’m not the answer you got me wrong
I’m not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are, yeah who you are without me

Ooohh

Wide awake lying next to you
Being careful to get the words right
See it hurts me to tell you this
But it kills me to keep it inside

And I’m alone with the present tense
Making plans is over rated to me
And I don’t speak in guarantees
Or at least not the kind that you need

I’m not your anchor so don’t hold on
I’m not the answer you got me wrong
I’m not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are, yeah who you are without me

Oooh well I still believe in happy endings
But this just isn’t where I wanna spend mine
I believe in now I’ve said it
Oooooh

I’m not your anchor so don’t hold on
I’m not the answer you got me wrong
I’m not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are,

I’m not a mirror look inside yourself
I’m not a hero you know too well
I’m not your savior save your energy
To find out who you are, who you are without me

Yeah, oooh

Kate Voegele

Currently Listening To: Who You Are Without Me - Kate Voegele

I Love My Cousins

most of all, i love how it's seriously more like brothers and sisters rather than cousins.

:)

congrats! :)

Currently Listening To: Glamorous - Fergie

He Did It Again!

k remember this post: Jack's Mannequin

well, he did it again! serious, every video, diff face. too much the fella. what a joker. and for that i'm gonna post all his music videos for you all to see. from most recent to not. well i'm not sure of the order so whatever la.

Jack's Mannequin "Swim"





Currently Listening To: Swim - Jack's Mannequin

Facebook Is Being A Bitch

so annoying. say can upload til 200 photos.

try cant. failed twice. so i try 150. FAIL AGAIN.

too much. so now 3 albums for 2 weeks. what crap.

oh well. anyway, the winter hols pics are up at my FB. go check it out. think there's quite a few awesome possum scenery pics. GO SEE! :D

****

looks like all i can do now is just hope for the best and not get caught.

****

was going thru all my documents to clear stuff up for more space. found a freaking 5 page word document. i typed. i wonder if i actually sent it at all or not. can't remember. 5 pages wei. giler. i had a lot to say.

****

i just realised i said that if she got it i would text her. but i didnt. =/ talk about fail texting skills.

****

k the comp is seriously eating my comp and study time. too much. but it's soooo good. :)

****

more kickass music:







Currently Listening To: Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson

Shit Catapult

this is keawesomenessan.

seriously, what an unlikely trio making awesome music.



props to Merv for the intro. that guy knows how to find good music.

Currently Listening To: Shit Catapult - Iiro Rantala New Trio

Google Ads Actually Help!

like for real. and no i'm not getting paid to say this.

k why? first of all, the ads relate to whatever you blog about right?

so a while back, i blogged about my broken skateboard right?

and then the ads were smart enough to find stuff about skateboards for me. (dunno if you guys see it) so yeah, there was one ad where is says skateboard, click here to find your nearest dealer in new zealand.

and well, since i was looking for one that time, i clicked la naturally to find right. and then i found out about Cheapskates located somewhere in City. and that's exactly where i bought my skateboard. :)






so THANK YOU GOOGLE ADS a.k.a GOOGLE ADSENSE! :)

Currently Listening To: For Real - Gensomaden Saiyuki

Sleep Being Devoured

i used to be a good boy who studied each night before sleeping when the new semester started.


:P


kk fine back to how it was tmrw. today is the day to enjoy. :)

well now i got motivation to finish labs and classes as fast as i can. and Tuesdays are so gonna rock. :DD

heh. yes i'm very proud of this. :) not best in the world. but awesome as to me.

Currently Listening To: Poison - All Time Low

Like A Kid On Christmas

heh heh heh.

i feeeeeeeeelllll so excitedy. hasn't reach yet. but i know it is going to VERY soon. :D

considering the hours i spent at the com lab trying to find the best one and the most worth it one, i think it has finally paid off. i feel proud of myself for doing the research and making a decision. :)))

but of course i couldn't have done it alone la. and on the top of my head i can think of 3 important ppl to thank; YL, for helping tons with the comunication with the seller and letting me use his comp and even paying on behalf of me while i was on hols. i bet to some extent i bugged him a lot too. sry man. then Isaac, for telling me whats good and not good. and Ray Tien for telling me to try and get a deal from the seller.

and with all these help. i got awesomeness. i just hope i can pick it up today, cuz i'll be restless as hell if i don't. i hope YL finishes SOlidWorks in time to go pick it up. hope hope hope.


Currently Listening To: Last Train Home - Lostprophets

This Makes Me Stressed Out

seriously, this comp issue is bugging the shit outta me.

at least now i'm confident enough to go buy a new one. as in, that's the right course of action.

but now it's the deciding how much is an ok price and a good deal. and how good do i want it. if i buy smth good, i want it to last pretty damn long.

but if i want smth good, then it'll cost more.

then there's the monitor and the keyboard and what not.

haih. so bugged out by this, why did u have to spoil. retard la.

STRESS.


and for a guy who LOATHES spending money, i reckon i'll be spending almost 2k or more this hols.

so for a while, please try not to make me spend money or even ask me to belanja u stuff or ask me to give you stuff which cost me quite a bit to get in the first place. thx

p.s.: just because i bought it, doesn't make it cheap or less valuable, so please understand why i hesitate to offer. it still cost me smth to get it.

Currently Listening To: Therapy - All Time Low

When It Rains, It Freaking Hailstorms

i've got a lot to complain about and a lot of things that are disturbing/irritating/bugging me.

i shall leave til after i get my comp.


on a side note, good stuff did happen too. so i shall blog about that for now.

like how everyone seems to be saying that we should have competed which i shall take as we played really well and we would have won. :)

it's nice doing something and people feeling that it's good enough to win a "competition". :)

unfortunately the song i like, most people can't appreciate, but yet they still thought we should win. that's pretty awesome.

ahhhhh. it feels good to do something good with my life.

plus the whole Tech Crew thing turned out really well. sure there were one or two mistakes. but it sure didn't turn out to be as stressful as what i thought it would be. i honestly had fun. :) the guys i was working with prob made it fun la. i'm glad that i could still laugh around with them while doing my job. awesome stuffs.

conclusion, not stressful, pretty fun stuff. :) dunno la why also. i think it's cuz Mamduh n Radin did give help to make my job easier. but really la, things went well, so i'm happy.

and i spent a long time just destressing in the comp lab here and not worrying so much abt my comp so maybe that's why i'm feeling better.

k gtg see ya.

Currently Listening To: We Still Kill The Old Way - Lostprophets

Why Am I Worrying About The Money?

k my mom is like "Go for the ski trip. nvm that it's expensive. these once in a while things must try"

and then she was also like "So after we visit you, you come back with us la"

and i'm like "What the. Money doesn't grow on trees la ok!"

haha. so weird right? normally it's the other way around. but yeah. dunno la. my parents want me to go back with them at the end of the year all. but pppssshhhh. no way la. what crap 4k to come back. so many reasons to come back. but got reasons to not come back as well. mostly people i don't intend on seeing ever again and also the hot weather.

but anyway. ya. i think mostly cause i don't wanna spend my money. cuz right now, since coming to NZ, i'm surviving on my own money a.k.a JPA la. eh actually ah, my ticket back home last year also i paid myself. plus the camera i bought also is my own money.

yeah, so i guess i know my parents want me to come back means that i'll be spending their money. which i seriously hate doing i guess.

why? i think i figured it out. it's cause i absolutely hate asking people for help. seriously. in anything i do. i prefer doing it myself. why? i just don't like bothering people i guess. i mean, they sure got better things to do. plus if i can do it myself, i'll do it. plus i don't like asking for help from people who don't really wanna help right? so yeah. if they offer fine. if not, i'd rather not. i think sometimes if they offer also i prefer not to.

another reason i like staying in NZ. i feel so independent. it's like how it'll be when i'm working. so it's like a glimpse of my independent future. pretty cool. what'll be cooler if i can survive 4 years here without relying on my parents. then i guess for the future i should be okay. i hope at least. haha.

so maybe that's why i'm kinda protective about money. cuz it's mine that i'm using and not my parents. they've got tons to worry about already. i don't need them adding me to their list thank you very much. haha.




BUT right, all this talk about going home at the end of the year makes me wonder........ hmmmmm......

Currently Listening To: Carousel - Linkin Park

Note-To-Self: Things To Do After Exams (Update 1)

Update:

1. record new vid
2. check website to choose equipment to rent
3. play around with photoshop
4. go watch Terminator (prob get it from the hub la)
5. watch Transformers tmrw
6. reply emails
7. reply facebook walls
8. reply facebook msgs
9. plan? for road trip
10. play Prototype
11. defrag comp
12. band prac for TN?
13. learn up sound stuff for TN
14. update CMSA website (already currently confused with the layout and stuff)
15. Flat Ground Ollie on flat ground
16. RELAX TIL I CAN DIE (prob not ever gonna happen)
17. Do all the TN stuff.
18. Buy new skateboard
19. UCSSS band prac
20. Learn songs for TN
21. Buy speakers!



wah so the list grows longer as i cross things out. great.

and really la. i think they really expect me to learn one song i've never heard before with the solo and all in less than a day. craps. good thing i can do it. well, we'll see how it goes during band prac tmrw.

and really la. i keep getting asked to play for ppl who want to play pop songs. and the more i play the pop songs, the more i realise i like it. haha. i mean cuz it's easy la. so it's fun. so it feels like i shall just end up being one of those guitarist people hire to play for pop stars. lol. i don't mind actually. those songs are actually fun cuz it's easy. haha.

Future Pop Star Guitarist? not bad. better than nothing i guess. haha.

Currently Listening To: Love Story - Taylor Swift

This Guy Makes Me Want To Learn Piano/Keyboard

The Rocket Summer. AWESOME band. i dunno why, but i listen to his songs, and the piano in it is awesome. like really. plus the way he sings his songs u can like so totally feel like he is REALLY feeling the song. like putting every emotion into the song. that makes you love and feel the song even more.

he really makes me want to learn piano man. seriously. so awesome.

Currently Listening To: Save - The Rocket Summer

Taking Back Sunday Contest!!

so right, Taking Back Sunday is having a contest. which is to play a song from their new album. so right, i need you guys help. cuz it's based on how many views and also ratings, i would like if you guys could just view the vid and rate. and i don't expect you guys to give like good ratings and all. just rate based on what you think la. cheers! man this is exciting! :D




Currently Listening To: Punk Rock Princess - Something Corporate

It's Time To Buy A PS3

because right, after playing a bit of Prototype, i realise i don't like it being laggy and hangy. so i realise, i should just buy a PS3 and enjoy. :)

well so far i've got 4 reasons to get one





:)

on a side note. Prototype is SO FREAKING COOL MAN. my hero Altair also loses to him. i wonder how Ezio will match up. the game trailer makes him look awesomeness. we'll see la.


sry. don't mind the gamer talk. :) i just love games. 13 games installed and counting. :)

Currently Listening To: Timberwolves at New Jersey - Taking Back Sunday

Honestly Never Thought It Would Happen

the unthinkable happened.


my skateboard board actually broke. like for real. that wood piece actually broke. how? i also dunno. i thought it should be able to withstand stuff. lol. lameeee.

but i found it real interesting and amusing that it did break. really. i dunno why. haha. here's pics anyway. smth the blog has been missing for a while.







oh and there's two good things that came out of this. i get to finally dismantle my board and see what's it like inside of the tyres and check out the bearing.


the bearings are really lame btw.



the other good side is that now i get to buy a new board! :D which i've been wanting to since the one i had was kinda lame and i don't even know if it was meant to do tricks. "so now i've learnt my lesson and shall not spend too little on a board." - quote of the year. :P

wheeee hols and shopping time!

Currently Listening To: Lifeline - Brooke Fraser

Note-To-Self: Things To Do After Exams

1. record new vid
2. check website to choose equipment to rent
3. play around with photoshop
4. go watch Terminator (hopefully tonight)
5. watch Transformers tmrw
6. reply emails
7. reply facebook walls
8. reply facebook msgs
9. plan? for road trip
10. play Prototype
11. defrag comp
12. band prac for TN?
13. learn up sound stuff for TN
14. update CMSA website (already currently confused with the layout and stuff)
15. Flat Ground Ollie on flat ground
16. RELAX TIL I CAN DIE

who said my holidays are free? :P

STILL ON A BOAT! THE BOAT ENGINE MAKE NOISE!

Currently Listening To: I'm On A Boat - The Lonely Island (ft T.Pain)

Wow, For A Loser, I'm Pretty Happy. :)

haha. u know right, in my immediate family, i'm like probably the most useless one. like really. we'll start from the top la k.

so my Dad is like pretty much great. i mean the person he is and esp his career and how good his career is and has been for him. i mean, if it's possible, i'd sure wanna be like him man. seriously. but somehow, i feel i'm too lazy for that so yeah. i guess if u knew who my dad you would prob understand why i'm saying he's awesome la.

anyway, then on to my Mom. my mom is also another awesome. Can cook awesome, can do gardening and landscaping and house planning and all. i mean the kitchen in my house is like desgined by my mom. and i think it looks gr8. how cool is that to desgin something and for it to come out gr8. plus i'm pretty sure she's like a pretty awesome teacher in her school. (well i don't know for sure cuz i wasn't in the school for obvious reasons. haha). plus she can play netball and she's like pro in it. i think the school team has been winning or won some championship or smth. so yeah. my mom's awesome.

then there's my elder sister. wow. dunno what to say la. she's officially a dentist. which i'm pretty sure mostly ppl know it aint easy to do anything to do with bio. other than that, she's beautiful also. plus, she's atheletic too. i mean seriously, check out all the medals she has won:

k probably doesn't seem like much la. but some are overlapping. i think. so let's sum it up, beautiful, smart & atheletic. i think that equates to awesomeness.

then there's the younger sis. who is also awesome (but i won't admit. i hope she's not reading this :P) she's like prob the most hardworking of all the siblings. and this is clearly shown by all the good grades she achieves. and all the medals and stuff she recieves for it:

brilliant kid. plus, she can play guitar too. and she plays for like events and stuff i think. well i know she's played for one la so far with her friends. at her age, i nvr did such things. and now i find out she's writing for NST. weekly. how cool is that? oh plus, i think she has medals for MSSD tennis as well. oh yeah, apparently she's in the church choir too. so now she can sing too. haha. oh and she's super lame. worse than me. which adds on to her awesomeness to me la. haha. so a.k.a yet another awesome in the family.

well of course then there's me. who doesn't have as many medals of sports or education as my other two siblings. i pretty much got nothing. all i can do is play guitar and play games. both haven't brought me anything awesome. it's like anything i can do, there are tons of ppl who can do it better. so nothing special. so to sum me up, i'm like the loser in the family of awesome. the black sheep (the saying, not cuz i'm relatively dark (to my fairer friends) skinned n in NZ. lols).

but funnily enough, eventhough i'm the loser, i feel fine. i don't know why. i feel i'm ok with my life. happy too. but if i could, i'd definitely wanna be as awesome as my family one day. somehow. then that'd be perfect. :)

for now til then, i'll just settle being the pretty happy loser. :)

Currently Listening To: I'M ON A BOAT - The Lonely Island ft T. Pain

Rich Beyond Words

you know some people are filthy rich when a girl who has not even left school, heck i don't even know if she's done PMR, is getting a MacBook AND an iPhone.

this is a short post because i'm speechless.

*update - i found out she's 13. now i even more got nth to say. err right.*

Currently Listening To: You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban

That's What You Get

when you let your heart win?

haha no la. doesn't fit what i'm gonna talk about.

well seriously, when you think about it, it makes sense. if u act like a donkey, and treat everyone badly, then when noone cares about you, why act so surprised?

i mean, to you, you are never the one who is wrong right? always other people. but even that aside, seriously, how does one treat other people like crap and then expect for those people to treat you nice? don't get it.

maybe i should also remind myself not to expect things from people i don't like a.k.a don't treat so nice. but i guess i don't expect from them since i mmg don't want to have anything to do with them in the first place. so i guess i don't treat them bad at all. i just don't bother treating them at all. well it makes sense doesn't it, why waste evergy treating someone bad when u can not bother about them on a whole already? haha.

and wah, my first time meeting someone who feels proud about acting like an idiot. like goes out of the way to look bad/stupid/like a moron. win. and u know u've made it as a jerk when ppl you don't even know don't like you b4 meeting you. your reputation clearly precedes you. but i guess that's what u want right?

so yeah, that's what you get when u act like an idiot i guess. i know i'm gonna sound like some evil lover with the next sentence but whatever la. anyway, watching bad things happen to idiots in my life make me happy. :) cuz hey, you worked so hard to deserve it. :) so congratulations. :) you just got what you deserve. :)

the only bad side about this is that these people i don't like, i don't spend time knowing what's happening to them. k i basically have no idea what's going on with them at all. like seriously now that i think of it. wow. haha. so i guess i dunno if they're having any good or bads. so i guess i can't celebrate. darn.

oh well, not worth my time anyway. but i guess ure worth it enough for me to blog about and say congratulations for getting what you deserve. well, at least you're worth something la ok. so u don't have to be emo and kill yourself now. man i just saved ur life. cool. haha.


what rubbish la i'm talking now. hahaha. ok ok i shud go sleep. i think one fan from cooler is dying. and it's the fan that actually does smth. sheesh.

and why is it always when exams come i tend to play games? i finished Crysis and Assassin's Creed again. cuz i got nth better to do. and i'm planning of getting a PS3 just to play Assassin's Creed 2 and Modern Warfare 2. like why not? hahahahah

k i'm clearly crazy. YAY EXAMS!

on a side note. i'm going to die for my next two exams. yeay? ahh crap. i need to learn not to expect exams based on what other people say. cuz people are different. if u ask someone who studies a lot, they are going to say oh it's easy. and if u ask someone who hardly studies at all, they'll say it's freaking tough. and what if ure in between? jam. dunno how hard to study. so i'm just gonna study as much as i think i should. and enough la of course.



and this post. hmm. if you think it's about you, then it's about you. if you think it's not about you, go find someway to fit it into your life and then it's about you. i think this is what i meant to say for the other post as well. so basically, it's for everyone. yeay! YOU are included too. don't you feel happy to finally have a post about you?? lol


EH GO SLEEP LA U.

KTHXBYE. :D

Currently Listening To: All I Need Is You - Hillsong United

Of, Huh What?

*if ure reading this post to understand it, don't bother.

k first of all, i would like to say WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON?

cuz seriously, now i'm just curious. i was curious at first. then after another one came up, i'm even more. what the hell could have happened that is so bad. i'm like getting tons of ideas of what cud have happened. hmmm.


and seriously right, it's not rape if you gave consent to it. so don't call it that and don't treat it like that. and don't say you were used, cuz all the rules and intentions were laid and you knew full well. if u feel hurt, suck it up, u brought it on yourself. it's nothing to do with me anymore.


and for someone else, i don't see any right for you to be angry with her. she didn't want, you wanted. she tried, but still felt nothing. so what, you want it to be forced? wtf? so don't be angry for that.


who is this for? trust when you read and feel you can apply to your life, then it's you.

Currently Listening To: Crushcrushcrush (Live) - Paramore

This Time I MAY Be Being Perasan

argh. i don't get it.

why does it seem like the things i do that people don't normally do, are the things that annoying people in my life decide to follow?

i'm pretty sure those who know me know who i'm talking about.

i mean come on, that is was my thing! i'm like probably the only one you may know who's doing it!

now these people wanna come along and do the same. ugh. come on la. FIND YOUR OWN THING TO DO. stop leeching off me.

the worst is some people who like literally FOLLOW me. i do something, then they must do it also. i stop, they suddenly stop.

and then when u ask them why they're doing it, they give some lame excuse they choose to believe.

and the worst part is, why is it always the obnoxious and annoying people who have to do it. gosh that makes things worse.

i guess in some way, maybe i don't want competition, maybe someone will do those things better?

maybe i just like those things to define me. maybe i would want those things to relate to just me. like if ppl said (for example) music, and they'd think of me str8. i'd hate for them to think of those ppl who copied me. that's so pissing off.

what's worse is, somehow these people have a seemingly unending cashflow. so they can buy buy buy and get all the good stuff without thinking twice. i mean, it's not my fault that i eat a lot and have to spend money buying food instead on the stuff i would like to buy.

haih. i dunno what to do la. maybe i should be honoured cause they're choosing to be like me. ahh who cares about honour. i just want ME and that's it. don't steal the stuff that makes me ME away.


FIND YOUR OWN FREAKING LIFE AND STOP COPYING MINE.


pathetic losers.

Currently Listening To: The Small Print - Muse

Jo Rocks. Fullstop

seriously, thx la Jo. din expect that at all. haha. but thx so much for the trying to help me win and all and especially the encouragement. really encouraged with your post wei. haha. no wonder you're Jo the Pro. you're the best la. haha. thx! don't think i know anyone else who would do such a thing for me. cool la you. :D

in case ure wondering what i'm talking about, click here.


k honestly, i'm not expecting much from the contest la. my vid is really nothing special. i made it like a few hours after the song was released on iTunes a month ago. so it's like not perfect and all. kinda rushed through it. and considering it's exam time, i don't have to fix it and add in special stuff. so it's just me playing guitar. nth gr8 i guess. wanna see awesome stuff? check these two vids out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJXBwJxgVCQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXAK-42R0yQ

these two are the best and what i like so far. if anyone deserves to win. it's these two guys. and actually, i don't mind not winning. i'm in it for the experience and to get reviews on my playing actually (and i do think i played perfectly, otherwise i won't be posting the vid. haha). plus the prizes are ok i guess. the prize btw, is a phone call with the band (which in my case i dunno if it's good or bad, since i REALLY don't do phone calls. i mean i don't even know what to say!) and also a limited edition car kit. and considering i don't have a car now, isn't really very useful. BUT, it's just fun to join so why not.

oh and one thing i realised is how AMAZINGLY encouraging. i mean, think about it, this is someone you don't know a.k.a a stranger. and here he is telling you you're good and telling you how to be better. and when you tell him that you're not that good and can't sing and all. he encourages you even MORE. telling you not to give up and not to compare and all. and basically there i went too amazed to respond. cuz seriously, this guy doesn't even know you! but here he is telling you that you can do it. heck, some friends don't even encourage. and a stranger can do it.

which got me thinking, maybe we don't like encouraging friends or telling them they did good or was awesome. maybe somehow we feel that if we do that, we're acknowledging that they are better than us, and heck we sure don't like people being better than us. or maybe it's just the way we've been brought up that makes us not give out healthy encouraging words. maybe we don't like seeing other people succeed. i guess it's all just a mix of jealousy and selfishness.

but then again, sometimes when people actually do give out good comments, we doubt it. like we wonder if they really do mean it or they are just saying it cuz they are our friends. i know of someone who tries so hard to be a nice guy it has become so fake. why? imagine someone who comes walking into your flat when you're cooking and says "oh the food smells good ben". he does this everytime, but when one day he comes in and says the exact same thing and you HAVEN'T started cooking, you know that it's fake. cuz seriously, how can the food smell good if i HAVEN'T started cooking??

so i guess sometimes it's easier to accept compliments from strangers as well. cause they have no reason to compliment and encourage someone they don't know right? so you know it's sincere. and i guess with friends, you kinda expect something good but at the same time, if you do get something good, you doubt whether it's sincere or they are just saying it cause they're your friends.

confusing right? i mean, to encourage would be wrong (cuz it may seem insincere) and to not would be wrong as well (cuz friends should encourage each other right?). so either way is wrong. gr8.

so i guess we should all just be strangers. it's easier to accept. :)

aaaah crap. i think the exam stress is getting to me. well something to think about i guess. sorry if you here to destress and ended up more stress thinking about this. haha.



Currently Listening To: Hearts Burst Into Fire - Bullet for My Valentine

Oh The Lyrics Are Finally Here

thankfully, some people have bought the album of Taking Back Sunday and have posted up the lyrics. now i can finally post the lyrics to the song i've been obsessing for the past few weeks. damn pro song. but i think i'm moving away from the song, so i might as well post it while the feeling is still there. also respects to the person who tabs this song. took me a whole good hour to try and figure that solo-ish bit at the start. and i don't think i've got it perfect yet. crazy stuff. the chords are easy tho.

Swing

Open the gate to your apartment complex,
Your not getting off that easily.
I climb the fence,
The one that you've been sitting on.
(How long)
Before I'm just a memory,
(How long)
Before you can't remember me,
(How long?)Remember me.

I never had a choice
I never had a choice
To lead the choke homodyne
Round that to his doorway
I couldn't find the box to fix
The restless nagging in my brain
(How long?)
Before I'm just a memory,
(How long?)
Before you can't remember me,
(How long?)Remember me.

Lover, lover, on the fence
Bat your eyes, ball a fist
And swing (swing) swing (swing)
Before you leave
Lover, lover, tell me this
Passion over consequence,
When did the latter take the lead?
Just swing...
Just swing, (swing), swing, (swing), swing...

I never had a choice,
I never had a choice,
The evening lit itself
And watched my reservations fall to the floor
Fall to the floor
Now sing with me
(How long?)
Before I'm just a memory
(How long?)
Before you can't remember me,
(How long?)Remember me.

Lover, lover, on the fence
Bat your eyes, ball a fist
And swing (swing) swing (swing)
Before you leave
Lover, lover, tell me this
Passion over consequence,
When did the latter take the lead?
Just swing...

Open the gate to your apartment complex
Did you forget love, your who called for me?
(Did you forget, did you forget?)
How long did you expect to keep me waiting?
How long before I'm just a memory?

Lover, lover, on the fence
Bat your eyes, ball a fist
And swing (swing) swing (swing)
Before you leave
Lover, lover, tell me this
Put passion over consequence,
Since when did the latter take the lead?
Just swing...
Swing, (swing), swing, (swing), swing, (swing)
Just swing, swing, swing...
Just swing...

Taking Back Sunday

oh and on another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM!!!! wow public wishing somemore. looks like i don't need to get u a present for next year also di now. haha.

annnddd. i need to force myself to wake up early and sleep early as well. if not i'm gonna be wasting my whole morning. ugh. now i gotta get ready and then go to uni to study. haih. i don't like this coming exam. way too much to study. my own fault. :( k ciao

Currently Listening To: Swing - Taking Back Sunday

You Rate La How Accurate

Currently Listening To: New Born - Muse

But You've Got Me All Wrong

"look it's not like you're perfect okay."


-"well, i never said i was.


all i was saying is that i'm better than you. :)"



Currently Listening To: You Got Me All Wrong - Dios Malos

Let's Recap

the way i dress: pretty much the same

the music i like: still about the same

songs i like to learn on the guitar: still the same

my actions/reactions: yeap still the same

my attitude: mostly still the same

my gangster-ish-ness: still there if the need calls for it.




pretty much every single thing about me has remained the same. the only thing that has changed is my looks. and that instantly changed my status from being a nerd to being a rocker/"cool" guy/gangster. was i not the same before i changed how i look? i just didn't have the face to suit the part i guess. clearly shows how ppl judge by the looks.

and that's why looks are so important to all of you. and don't say you look on the inside instead of the outside. cause i know you don't.

n nopes, i'm not mad or angry or anything. just pointing out a fact which i believe most ppl would not like to accept.

Currently Listening To: Gasolina - Daddy Yankee

No Reason To Post But I Felt Like It

it still bugs me that question she asked once.

"Does she know......"

hmmmm. nah. i don't see any possible way.

**********************

possibly the only time i was actually truthful about what i'm doing, what i'm doing, and what i have done, was with those 6(7) people. none of which i would consider myself as to being remotely close personally to. and it's like what's going on in my head. which i've never actually let out fully.

**********************

i realised that eventhough i can keep other people's secrets really well as if i've never known them, i just can't keep myself shut about my secrets. well i guess it's not secrets, but more like things normal people wouldn't tell other people.

there's just something about me that tells these things.

of course, thankfully, i know how to control what i say. i haven't become like a hole in a bag of sand that lets everything out. for my own good.



and i realise that's why i have a blog. to somewhat let things out. cuz i don't like keeping things in me. i guess like this post too. just smth i need to let out. i think it's some disorder..... hmmmm...

Currently Listening To: Summer Man - Taking Back Sunday

Sometimes Your Rules Work For Me Too

isn't it simple? if you can't and don't like being disturbed when ure doing something a.k.a gaming, i'm pretty sure it goes unsaid that you shouldn't disturb others while they are gaming right?

that's why i didn't bug you and let you take ur time to do stuff. but if it's not done, then i have something to bug you about.

and yes, the same goes for me. i shall not complain if i said i'll do smth and i haven't done it yet and you start complaining.

i think that's pretty fair isn't it?

Currently Listening To: RA3 Soviet March - Frank Klepacki