Friday, April 30, 2010

"Unquenchable Allure"

taken from http://increasingfaithfulness.blogspot.com/2010/04/allure.html

cuz it's smth u guys shud read. and in goes inline with today's msg at Refuel.


so, i guess ive thot about this a lot. But im sure its still not goin to come out clearly, but ill try.

Basically, sex is always brought up explicitly in the media. how did it get that far, and why?

I wanna suggest that a long time ago the media started with a couple hugging then kissing, then it progressed to caressing and then an implied sex-scene.

That then slowly progressed to a sex-scene with the couple under the blanket, then the blanket slips, and over the years, suddenly its a full, graphic sex-scene.


From my finite knowledge about this topic, i have come to realise that the reason they keep showing more and more over time is bcuz sex does not satisfy, not permanatly at least.

So, they have to keep raising the bar, thats y theres bondage and all that stuff, soon sex itself becomes boring and needs excitement.

Soon 2 ppl r not enough, and it becomes a group party.

have any of u watched porn? well if u have, then u probably experienced something like this

in the begining
watching 2 ppl make out turns you on

but over time, thats not enuf, and u want more. (yeah i decided to stop describing stuff)

and more, and more and more.


WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU WANT MORE?

Maybe, CUZ IT DOESN'T SATISFY, at least not permanently.


So, if ur searching for something more permanent, its not sex!

Sex just leaves you wanting more sex, if my theory is right (i think it is) and if the sex is not in its right place (marriage)

Does this make sense? not sure if i explained my thots right



anyway, conclusion

if ur dating, ull start holding hands, then sudenly thats not enuf, so u start kissing, then thats not enuf.... it keeps going based on my theory of it not satisfying.

So, basically, with porn n sex and stuff that deal with sex, the more you participate, the more you want, slowly over time it can become an addiction.

What I am tryin to say, is be careful what you allow urself to do. Why are u watching them make out? r u goin to stop there?

why r u frenching her? r u goin to stop there? cuz soon, very soon, if not already, ur going to want more......

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Well, Yes, Yes, I Do Feel Amazing

well, honestly, it's not a big deal, but being the first person i know to post/mention abt B.o.B's Airplanes, which everyone is now only hearing, is a pretty awesome feeling.


i like being one of the first discovering new music. esp cuz it's music.

HAPPY.


it's like liking posting smth on FB, then everyone liking it. come to think of it, i did post the song on FB. cept nobody listened and liked it then. ish.

unfortunately, nobody realises i was the first one among them to take note of the song. but nvm. at least i sendiri tau while the song becomes famous. LOL.

Currently Watching: South Park - Season 8 Episode 5

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Owned

seriously. owned. i dunno what to say.

[~:¦| βεη Ј |¦:~]© - Airplanes says:
dont' get distracted by fb!
Face your book!

yumey says:
i am texting
and facebooking
hence
i'm textbooking
textbooking = studying
GOOD ENOUGH ;A



gg.

Currently Watching: South Park - Season 8 Episode 2 (A.W.E.S.O.M. - O)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

It's Been A While

i just realised, i haven't had a drink in a month.

actually a month and a half. almost.

feels pretty long esp for me. hmmm.


i'm pretty proud of myself i guess. hahaha.



ah time to work tonight. hmmm

Currently Watching: South Park - Season 7 Episode 1

Monday, April 26, 2010

I'm Still Bitter




not cool.

Currently Listening To: Girl Next Door (Acoustic) - Saving Jane

Friday, April 23, 2010

I Know I Have At Least Half Of The People I Know Who Will Murder Me After Reading This

it's true. why? cuz i'm addicted to a song which they will kill me for.

and seriously, i don't think any of them saw this coming.

this being, me listening to a song. and even worse, getting addicted to it.



heck even i didn't see it coming.


but seriously, the song is catchy. and quite addictive. must be some hypnotic beat yo.



what song u ask?


get ready for it.








Super Junior - Sorry Sorry



thank goodness i'm all the way here in NZ safe from their wrath. hahahahahhaa


Currently Listening To: Sorry Sorry - Super Junior

Thursday, April 22, 2010

There's A Certain Reason I Like COD4

and this is it.


cuz i can be pretty good at times. :)


hahah. well i guess we all like things we're good at. haha

and speaking of games, AC2 turned out to be really awesome. like it's real fun to play i think. compared to AC, there's just way more stuff to do. it's just different. and same and yet awesome at the same time.

yes it's lagging pretty bad for me for some reason even on lowest setting. but still cool. and tho i do feel the graphics could be better, the gameplay is stil really fun.

k i shall not bore u non-gamers with my gamer talk.

i shall be off. to think abt my assignment. haih.

Currently Playing: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Surprisingly Not Surprising

you know how it's like when you suspect something, but you're not sure about that thing.

so you start doing "research" on that thing you suspect.

and in your head, it's like you have the answer. and you're like pretty sure.

so as you go on, halfway you find what you're looking for.

but instead of being all surprised, you just skim through the fact, and don't even notice you've found what you're looking for. and it's like you already knew it.


funny how suspecting something, turns into a fact already in your head. and when something real comes by to prove you right, you find, you don't need it after all.

in actual fact, you did need that proof. to make sure that your suspicion is true. but ur mind convinces yourself so well, that you believe you didn't need it.

Currently Listening To: Chase This Light - Jimmy Eat World

Airplanes




[Refrain: Hayley Williams]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

[B.o.B:]
Dreamin... I Fallin...
Yeah
Lets pretend like its 98, like I'm eating lunch off of a Styrofoam trey
Trying to be the next rapper coming out the A
Hoping for a record deal, to re-know my pain
Now lets pretend like I'm on the stage
And when my beat drops everybody goes insane (Ok)
And everybody know my name (B.o.B)
And everywhere I go people wanna hear me sang
Oh yea and I just dropped my new album
On the first week I did 500thousand
Gold in the spring and diamond in the fall
And then a world tour just to top it all off
And lets pretend like they call me the greatest
Selling out arenas with big ass stages
And everybody loved me and no one ever hated
Lets try to use imagination

[Refrain: Hayley Williams]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

[B.o.B:]
Ok, let's pretend like this never happened
Like I never had dreams of being a rapper
Like I didn't write raps in all of my classes
Like I never use to runaway into the blackness
Now lets pretend like it was all-good
Like I didn't live starring in a notebook
Like I did the things I probably knew I should
But I didn't have maybes that's why they call it hood
Now lets pretend like I aint got a name
Before they ever called me B.o.B or a.k.a Bobby Ray
I'm talking back before the mixtapes
Before the videos and the deals and the fame
Before they once compared me to Andre
Before I ever got my space
Before they ever noticed my face
So let's just pretend and make wishes out of airplanes

[Chorus - Hayley Williams]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

[Eminem:]
Lets pretend Marshall Mathers never picked up a pen,
Lets pretend things would have been no diff-er-ent,
Pretend he procrastinated had no motivation,
Pretend he just made excuses that were so paper thin.
Make it blow away with the wind, Marshall you're NEVER gonna make it
His alarm went off to wake him but he didn't make it
To the Rap Olympics
Slept through his plane and he missed it

[Refrain: Hayley Williams]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

B.o.B ft Hayley Williams & Eminem


Currently Listening To: Airplanes - B.o.B ft Hayley Williams & Eminem

Friday, April 16, 2010

Ok. The Happy Post

well, this week was great. so many good things.

so. let's list them out.

1. GC arrived. Games look magnificent now.
2. Got AC2 working. kinda disappointed a little with how it turned out. so not much mood to play. but still! at least i got it working.
3. Milling is finally done! after 5 days. gosh. we both got just so tired of the whole thing.
4. Getting fatter. which is awesomeeeee.
5. South Park is HILLARIOUS. Cartman is the man!


i'm in a good mood. right now at this moment i'm in a good mood. :)

time to watch more South Park! :)

Currently Listening To: Rain Down - Planetshakers

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Ok Ok. Happier Post.

kkk. so too many emo posts and complaning posts. i've come to notice.

so the next time i post, will only be when i have smth awesome to say.


so we shall wait til i have one. :)

see ya!


Currently Watching: The Big Bang Theory - Season 3 Episode 19

Monday, April 12, 2010

Because I Can't Just Let Go, But I Know I Shouldn't Go On

so what do i do?

i can't just drop it and pretend like nothing happened. i don't want it to be like that with them. i'm not that guy.

but what if i'm not even sure what i want? i don't want to just let go.


it's like i think i want, but i know i don't? but i don't want to just let go.

or more like, i've already gone too far to just let it go like that?


WHAT THE CRAP LA.

it feels like with every step i take, i'm digging my grave deeper and deeper.

yet i know i should stop, but i dont. and like wont.

it's like i can sit there saying, don't msg/text/call, but i will still do it.

ugh. come on. i'm like stuck in the middle of nowhere. and i have to make a choice. and it seems like i don't want to go either way.

but i have to go somewhere.


and at least they're trying.


haih

they shud just name me a master of getting myself into trouble.

Currently Listening To: Together - Michelle Branch

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Gives You Hell

I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place

And you're still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace
I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

Now where's your picket fence love
And where's that shiny car,
And did it ever get you far

You've never seem so tense love
I've never seen you fall so hard,
Do you know where you are

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where'd it all go wrong, the list goes on and on

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see, what you've done to me
You can take back your memories they're no good to me
And he hears all your lies,
You can look me in the eyes
With that sad sad look that you wear so well

When you see my face hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well hope it gives you hell

When you see my face hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song and you sing along oh you'll never tell
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along I hope that it puts you through hell

All-American Rejects

i love how some songs cheer me up. :)

Currently Listening To: Gives You Hell - All-American Rejects

Oh For Crying Out Loud

first of all, no offence to all the women out there, but...

A GIRL, IS JUST A GIRL OK.

it just sickens me to see some guys who treat girls like they're so fragile and can't stand for themselves.

it's so annoying as well the way they treat girls like they're the utmost priority in their life.

u know, it makes sense if they're actually trying to go after the girl and make her their gf. like really, i get that.

but COME ON. if you have a gf and the girl has a bf, honestly what the hell are you doing.


it's annoying how the guy will be willing to cancel plans with a guy in a snap, but when it comes to girls, they're like "oh cannot la."


and they're like extra nice to girls. asking "are you ok?" "how you feeling?"


it's just a girl! they're def NOT gonna die if you're not always there for them. esp when they don't need you to be like that.


i'm pretty sure girls are tough enough.


SICKENING.


ugh. i dunno what to say la. just UGH.

i guess i'm really bugged how someone can be so rough and tough and then being all nice and sweet to girls. JUST GIRLS.

why la why? who u trying to impress for? girls are just human beings ok.

i guess i'm also bugged cuz these ppl do it for ALL the girls.



GAH. if u get what i mean then ya la. SO IRRITATING.

she's not yours, she's not gonna be yours and u already have yours. enough with the sucking up and trying to be impressive.


DISGUSTING LA.


k my rant is done.

Currently Listening To: Vampires Will Never Hurt You - My Chemical Romance

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Breakin'

Hold on tight
Wrap your arms around me til your knuckles are burning white
All your tears
Couldn't match the bitter taste of all these wasted years

You take take
Everything that wasn't even yours
Wait wait
You don't got a hold of me anymore

(Chorus)
In a clear view there's a silhouette
And I watch you and I can't forget
Knew we were done when you locked that door
Yeah I figured it out now
Breaking's what the heart is for

When I see you in a silhouette
And you hold close
Do you feel regret
Keeping me down when I hit that floor
And I figured it out girl
Breakings what your heart is for

For so long
I've had to bite my tongue but what's the point if the feelings gone
I turn my head
Learned I only see some memory but all I see is red

Don't don't
Say it didn't happen that way
I won't won't
Believe another word that you say

(chorus)
In a clear view there's a silhouette
And I watch you and I can't forget
Knew we were done when you locked that door
Yeah I figured it out now
Breaking's what the heart is for

When I see you in a silhouette
And you hold close
Do you feel regret
Keeping me down when I hit that floor
And I figured it out girl
Breakings what your heart is for

Yeah breaking's what your heart is for
Yeah breaking's what your heart is for

And not a soul sleeps
Another heart skips a beat
It's every note that you wrote and I hope that you choke on the lines
You're wasting my time, another heart beats tonight

(chorus)
In a clear view there's a silhouette
And I watch you, no I'll never forget
Knew we were done when you locked that door
Yeah I figured it out now
Breaking's what the heart is for

When I see you in a silhouette
And you hold close
Do you feel regret
Keeping me down when I hit that floor
And I figured it out girl
Breakings what your heart is for

Yeah breaking's what your heart is for (X4)

All-American Rejects


Currently Listening To: Breakin' - All-American Rejects

Trust Me, I Literally Cringe When I Hear Fakeness

it's like i'm suffering ok.

like bad. cuz for your sake, i don't expose you for the fake you are.


ugh. cannot tahan fakeness la.

as much as it might look like an advantage, being able to see through ppl and the "stories" they put up, isn't fun at all.



torture torture.


and then, when other ppl be fake, i have to end up being fake to tolerate them.

the only justifiable thing i can say for that is, do unto others.


but still! so annoying! >:(

Currently Listening To: Your Own Disaster - Taking Back Sunday

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

To Ask Would Mean Work

i realised, to ask what's up, i'd have to care.


unfortunately, i didn't want to care.

Currently Listening To: Back To Me - All-American Rejects

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Because, I Don't Believe In Love Anymore


it's funny, we were talking about all the people getting married and stuff.

and then i was asked, when am i getting married.

and i thought about it, and considering all that has happened to me, and quite possibly, i probably won't get married. that's what i said too.

i mean what's the point. as i see it, there's quite possibly no girl in this world whom i could/would fall for, who would actually love.

there's no more love in the world. just lust. what the eyes and the flesh wants.

i think i've come to believe that there's no girl who could love without lust.


so yeah. i'm not interested. at all. cuz in today's world, i don't believe there's such a thing as just love anymore.




if i can actually find someone, whom i can fall for too, then i might get married.

but i doubt it.


love is dead.



but the bright side is, doesn't mean i can't be happy. :)

Currently Listening To: Picture - Kid Rock

Punishment

you know it's a punishment when you're suffering.

well i'm kinda suffering. considering how so many ppl i know went. and i wanted to go. and i usually go "every year".

but haih. the year when everything is PERFECT to go, a.k.a. a lot of my friends were going, it's smth i usually go for, it sounds like fun etc. and that's the year, i don't/not allowed to go.

but haih, i guess i deserve it for letting what happened to me that 2 saturdays ago.


so it's true, if you screw up, u get punished. and you suffer.

oh well. i deserved it.



but, the good thing is, i still had a good time tonight. i love hanging out with my friends. it was really good tonight. :) had fun. :)


although some people's behaviours were disappointing, i'm not gonna let it affect me.



it was still good. i even learnt smth tonight abt being punished for wrong done.

so, tonight = good night. :)


Goodnight! :)

Currently Listening To: I Can Love You Like That - All 4 One

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Why You Shouldn't Let People Affect The Things You Wanna Do

seriously tho. if you let ppl affect the things u wanna do, ure nvr gonna be able to do it. some things in life, u just gotta do it.

from where i see it, in my life, if i saw it like "crap, if grow my hair long, and str8en it, everyone is gonna think i'm some sorta girl doing girly things". and if i did that i would never have had my long hair. but thankfully, i don't care what ppl think that much. so i did it. and i've no regrets in keeping my hair long. i had a gr8 time having it long.

another example, skateboarding. here, it's like only the kiwis are the ones u'll see skateboarding. and i can think "crap, i'm not a kiwi, so i shouldn't be skating. plus no other malaysian does it.. bla bla bla." but no. i can skate so why should i think like that. so i told myself do it. why take 15 mins to get to class when u can do it in 5 mins.

there's a saying:

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

hmmm.

honeslty, if it's something that's not going to ruin ur life in any way. just do it. if your heart wants to do it, and it's not wrong. then do it. are you really gonna let what ppl think affect you so much that you end up just doing things to please other people.

so they might end up thinking ure weird, poser, trying to act cool etc. but as long as you know what reasons ure doing it for, then why should you worry what they think abt you.

u'll only worry if u know they're right. and if they're right, well then u've got a problem of being fake.



and speaking of being fake, sometimes, i feel like i'm going to burst at how some people can be so fake. in front of you, they'll talk nicely, and behind your back, hah, u know la.

the best part is, these ppl are the ones who are the most affected by what others say. they must be on the nice list of everyone. and they end up being fake. it's so annoying! cuz they say stuff to please others. and have no backbone. the moment someone says smth different. they change their view. ugh. their main goal is to get ppl to like them. and the way they do this is by being fake.

as for me, i really can't stand it. just be real la. if ppl don't like it. then change! i mean, ppl are not going to hate smth good. so if they hate you, then there's smth bad abt you. and there's nth wrong with changing smth bad.


k my rant seems random as. but it's basically coming from the fact that ppl who are affected so much by what ppl think that they end up being fake and "got no balls" to stand up for what they believe in.

come on! man up!


I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me

Fall Out Boy


Currently Listening To: I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy