1000th Post

who'd have thunk it? i made it this far with blogging. 1000 posts. just on blogspot alone.

quite an achievement i must say. or it could just mean i blog waaaayyyy too much. lol.

but imagine, i've been blogging for 6 years now. that's pretty crazy long.

my style of blogging has changed so much. from writing long essays about my daily life to short posts abt random stuff and thoughts and stuff. a lot of things have changed to. like the sidebar stuff. people have been added, order changed, ads put in and all.

i must say it's been really fun blogging. letting out my thoughts and all. and having interesting conversations with people about my posts. makes me think and also makes them think. but i like when people challenge me to think as well.

and it's weird, from having one or 2 visitors a month or so, it's grown to about 10 ppl a day. even when i don't post stuff. to some extent it's scary. cuz i used to know who came to read. but now i have no clue. it's like random people are reading! so i learnt to watch what i say as the years went by. and it's weird also, cuz i've found out i got people i don't even know coming back to read what i have to say (yes my dear, this is you i'm talking about. hope your life went better than mine. :) ).

so how do i celebrate my 1000th post? i feel like i should do something special. so i'm going to make this post contain all the topics of my blogging style.

as i see it, i've probably got 4 ways of blogging: Talking abt daily life stuff (what's going on in my life), Random stuff, Stuff people who read this blog will go "what in the world is he talking about???", Thoughts, and Music.



so first, daily life stuff. well for me right now, things are going pretty good. back in Malaysia for now. enjoying it quite a lot. started my internship. however they don't really give me anything to do, which sucks la. it's like, they're not sure what to give. so most days i just sit at office and do nothing. yeah freaking 8 hours of doing nothing. haih. but i took off a few days so i could go to Youth Camp and also Family retreat. glad i did. i needed those two breaks. :) got to catch up and spend time with people i haven't seen in a while and got to know ppl better. hmmm. i'm also getting fatter! which is good and bad in a way. good cuz, well i need to put on wait. but bad cuz now all my six packs have become 6 flabs. :( yeah i don't go gym remember? so now i gotta at least do my own exercises to get back those packs! :) i realise also i've got a lot of friends i'm yet to meet up with. other than that, life is going good. this year has definitely been amazing. tons of bad stuff has happened. but some good stuff has happened to. in my life. changed perspective in a lot of things. met ppl i appreciate a lot. appreciated ppl more as well. so yeah. it's been a good year. :) yeah this is all i'll say about my life for now. :)


as for the random fact, i guess it'll be, i'm pretty good at board games like pictionary & cranium, where there's drawing and guessing. for some reason i can guess the random nonsense people draw even if it doesn't look like the real thing. i dunno how. but yeah. so apparently... i can read mindssssss. hmmmmmmmmmmm. :)


random:
i wonder if it'll ever be, k i'll give you what you deserve, even if i don't get anything in return.


the stuff you (possibly) won't understand:

it's like i'm lying and lying, but i'm not. it's just never come up.

it's hard for one thing to mean something, when everything means something, and you treasure everything. (exactly why i just wanted one gf. but if i ever find a girl who likes me and me her, i'll never let her go and make sure she feels like she stands out from everyone else in my life.)

i think i'm half letting myself not feel. cuz i know i can feel. that's probably what i'm feeling. it's the fear of feeling and being let down, which for my case, just seems inevitable. which sucks. but i guess that's my life.



k enough stuff that people may not understand what i'm talking about. hmm. so thinking time. well not really, but more like, my opinion on stuff. k title? Beating around the bush.

seriously, people should just get to the point of what they want. now i can relate to friend's post which said smth like, if you want help, say exactly what you want. don't go "Hey you free?" i mean for me la, i don't wanna answer questions like that, cuz i don't know what i'm getting myself into. why would i wanna say yes i'm free to something i don't wanna do? people should just say, hey you free to help me out to do this thing?". STRAIGHTFORWARD LA. seriously.

plus it's scary when people say, "eh i wanna talk to you one of these days." esp when ure a guy like me who's always screwing up, you wonder if ure gonna get sounded. i'd like to prepare for that pls. cuz a talk can be anything!

so seriously people, just get to the point! it's not hard. say exactly what you want. ure not gonna offend me if you don't start the convo with hi, how are you. as i see it, you should only ask if you really mean it. and most of the time, u got ppl who nvr talk to you, suddenly asking how r u. and u know the next few sentences that are going to come out is them asking you for help. and hey, i've got no problem helping. but i've got a problem when u act as if you care. seriously, just don't, and go str8 to the asking for help. it's much better that way for me. well i believe it is at least.

just mean what you say people! i've had too much of people saying stuff they don't mean to me. i can't take it la. so yeah. touchy subject. hmmmm.


NOW, the BEST part of the 1000th post! the music! so i'm going to post the song, and the video of songs i find are pretty awesome recently. and knowing the readers of this blog, i'll post the ones people i know in general will like the best first la k? k now then, enjoy! :)

Wonderwall



Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

Backbeat the word is on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe (I said maybe)
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe (I said maybe)
You're gonna be the one that saves me (that saves me) 3X

Oasis

Mad Season


Video

I feel stupid, but I know it won't last for long.
And I've been guessing and I could have been guessing wrong.
You don't know me now, I kinda thought that you should some how.
Does that whole mad season got you down?

I feel stupid, but it's something that comes and goes.
And I've been changing, I think it's funny how no one knows.
We don't talk about the little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around.

So, why ya gotta stand there looking like the answer now?
It seems to me you'll come around.

I need you now, do you think you can cope?
You figured me out that I'm lost and I'm hopeless.
I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken;
I come undone.. in this mad season.

I feel stupid, but I think I've been catching on.
I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on.
You grown colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around.
What that whole mad season knock you down?

So are you gonna stand there, are you gonna help me out?
We need to be together now.

I need you now, do you think you can cope?
You figured me out that I'm lost and I'm hopeless.
I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken;
I come undone.. in this mad season.

And now I'm crying, isn't that what you want?
And I'm trying to live my life on my own, but I won't, no.
At times I do believe I am strong,
So someone tell me why, why, why, do I, I, I, feel stupid.

And I come undone, well I come undone.

I need you now, do you think you can cope?
You figured me out that I'm lost and I'm hopeless.
I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken;

Well I need you now, do you think you can cope?
You figured me out, I'm a child and I'm hopeless.
I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken.
I come, oh, I come undone in this mad season.
In this mad season.
It's been a mad season.
Been a Mad season.

Matchbox Twenty

Terrible Things



I said you could count on me
But I wouldn't hold that breath my self
If I pass out on your floor
It's just a cry for help
Damnation, redemption, the cycle
She said "Look and see, you're the worst thing that's ever happened to me"

We're doing terrible things
Just doing terrible things
We're doing terrible things
Doing just terrible things

Still I can't imagine
My life without her
We can't live through this
Somehow we already were

We're doing terrible things
Just doing terrible things
We're doing terrible things
Doing just terrible things

We're terrible things
What are we doing?
Doing just terrible things
Just doing terrible things

Damnation, redemption, the cycle
Echoes through my ears
You're the worst thing, You're the worst thing
That's ever happened to me

I never tried it but i'm always up
Am I keeping up?
Am I keeping up?

I never tried it but i'm always up
Am I keeping up?
Am I keeping up?

We're doing terrible things
Just doing terrible things
We're doing terrible things
Why do we do it?

We're doing terrible things
(Am I keeping up? Am I keeping up?)
Doing just terrible things
(Am I keeping up? Am I keeping up?)

We're doing terrible things
(Am I keeping up? Am I keeping up?)
Doing just terrible things
(Am I keeping up? Am I keeping up?)
Such terrible things

Terrible Things

k so that's it! hope u had fun reading the 1000th post! :) now go enjoy ur life and don't sit in front of the comp! :) take care people.

and yes, this is hopefully the last post ever. i think i make ppl irritated and worried and dunno what with all the words i say. so for my own benefit, and urs, i decided to stop. :) been always wanting to, but now since it's reached a thousand, seems like a cool way to end. so ya. :)

bye everyone! :)

Currently Listening To: Terrible Things - Terrible Things

You'll Make People Think You're Blind

seriously, it's been here the whole time.

you just never saw it.

or maybe didn't want to see it.

well i guess, sometimes it's best to assume the worst.

and i guess, technically, you can't say i never told you.

open your eyes and see the things you don't wanna see.

and yes, this goes out to all of you.

:)

Currently Listening To: Touchin On My - 3Oh!3

Erase Me Cause When I Get Home, You're So Dead

heard the following song on OTH. and i must say nice song. and lyrics, at parts. :)

Erase Me

[Verse 1]
She said I don't spend time like I really should
She said she don't know me, anymore
I think she hates me deep down, I know she does
She wants to erase me hmmmmmm

A couple days no talking, I seen my baby
And this what she tells me, she said

[Chorus]
I keep on running, keep on running
And nothing works
I can't get away from you, no

I keep on ducking, keep on ducking
And nothing helps
I can't stop missing you, yeah

[Verse 2]
It's like I'm her new nightmare, she ain't escaping
It makes me feel a bit complete, yeah
Knowing someone you love don't feel the same way about ya
Memories they soon delete, hmmm

A couple weeks no talking, I seen my baby
I've missed you so damn much, hey
I wish we could start over, I told my baby
This what this bitch tells me, she said

[Chorus]
I keep on running, keep on running
And nothing works
I can't get away from you, no

I keep on ducking, keep on ducking
And nothing helps
I can't stop missing you, yeah


[Bridge]
Cuz I'm in the magazines
On the TV
No matter where you are you might hear me
I'm in the magazines
On the TV
No matter where you go you might see me

[Verse 3]
Uh, I’m Yeezy
She said Hi I’m Aria,
No! You an angel you wave hi to Aaliyah
I got a show in Korea
They built a new arena
Why don’t you come watch n-gga tear the whole scene up
I know I’ve seen you before but don’t know where I’ve seen ya
Oh I remember now, it’s something I that I dreamed of
Don C said she cool but don’t let her f-ck ya cream up
Monica Lewinsky on ya dress take ya to the cleaners
Sure enough a week later I’m in extra love
And everybody know she mine so she extra plug
Every bouncer every club show her extra love
We just praying the new fame don’t get the best of us
But all good things gotta come to an end-a
She let it go to her head, no not my aria
The height of her shopping was writers blocking me
I couldn’t get my shit out anyway, I hope you die Aria

[Chorus]
I keep on running, keep on running
And nothing works
I can't get away from you, no

I keep on ducking, keep on ducking
And nothing helps
I can't stop missing you, yeah

Kid Cudi ft Kanye West

and this will be the third time i'm posting this song. but it's just so brilliant. it just says everything perfectly. i listen to it, and i just feel like laughing. at you. :)

When I Get Home, You're So Dead

The words are coming I feel terrible
Is it typical, for us to act like this
Am I just another scene
From a movie that you've seen 100 times
Cause baby you weren't the first, or the last, or the worst
And I've got to fill the blanks in this past with a verse
We could sit around and cry but frankly you're not worth it
Anymore

So say hello to all the boys at the top of this table that you're under
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time
And baby I understand that you're making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry
And I...

On any other day we'd shoot the boy
But your simple toy
Had caused a scene like that
Leave him hanging on the walls
Just a picture in the hall
Like 100 more
Consider this as a gift as you taste him on your lips
And he's making you scream with his hands on your hips
I hope he's leaving you empty baby this is just a fix
For such a simple. little. whore.

So say hello to all the boys at the top of this table that you're under
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time
And baby I understand that you're making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry
And

Your name remains the same
All that has changed is this pretty face
So pull the trigger (Your name)
It never gets closer (remains the same)
You want to start over
But never start over

Pull the trigger (All that has changed)
It never gets closer (is this pretty face)
You want to start over
But never start over

So say hello to all the boys at the top of this table that you're under
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time
And baby I understand that you're making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry and I...

Say hello
Say hello
(Whoaaaa)
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time!
And baby I understand that you're making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry and.

Mayday Parade

i believe i laugh cuz i know what i know. and i know you. and i know you'll avoid what ure thinking. so i laugh even more. and this sentence will piss you off, so u try even harder and make it worse. cheers to your ego making things worse. :)

heh. enjoy. :)

Currently Listening To: Price To Play - Staind

It Was Supposed To Be The One Thing That Works

funny how i let go of the one thing that is supposed to comfort me and make me feel happy/better/contented, and yet, all those things that i need to have a better outlook on life i have now. after letting go and not paying as much attention to it as i have for the past few years.


makes me wonder, a lot.

Currently Listening To: When I Get Home, You're So Dead - Mayday Parade

If You're Wondering What's The Reason, This Would Be It

somehow the image of that person has tied in to that thing i do.

so now, if anything to do with her pops up, i automatically feel the need for one.

well in my defense, it kinda does make me feel better.


damn it. should have brought the pack along.

Currently Listening To: Your Love Is My Drug - Ke$ha

Just In Case You All Forgot

Nothing. Is what it seems.

But nothing's as it seems
Escape The Fate

Don't believe everything you read about me
(People talk, but it doesn't matter what they say)
Amber Pacific

just cause you see someone as something, you may build up certain expectations and assumptions about them.

so when you find out stuff about them, try your best not to think they changed, but more like, u just never knew that part to them.

and even when they actually do change, they might just have a reason which you can't understand for now for changing.

cuz hey,

Nothing is what it seems.

Currently Listening To: Three Words - Amber Pacific

I'll Put It Simply

would you rather,

a) hang out with people who want you around and want to hang out with you which is why they call you to go do stuff;

or

b) hang out with ppl who are pretty much the opposite of the above?


case, solved.


just for the record, this isn't why i won't be staying long at certain events tmrw.

Currently Listening To: Fuck You - Cee-Lo Green

Directly Proportional

how much you want something, is directly proportional to how much you will sacrifice, how much effort you put in, how much you won't give up.


and it's good to know, that sometimes, when you put a lot, you do end up getting what you want.


Currently Listening To: Deciphering Me - Brooke Fraser

Stop Being So "Cool"

and let people in.


hmmm.

ok. got it.

silakan masuk. :)

Currently Listening To: Tonight We Feel Alive (On A Saturday) - Four Year Strong

Maybe That's Why I'm Reluctant To Call

This heart earned.

So swallow the smoke and let them reach your lungs this time.

While knowing I'm going back to where efforts were just meaningless supposed encouraging words.

We'll see. How bad things will be.

And as much as I really don't wanna disappoint you, I know who I am won't be good enough or I will be a disappointment to you.

So I shall not place hope where you deserve better.

Currently Listening To: Given Up - Linkin Park

Tasty Hunger

no. i wouldn't say i hunger for the taste.

at least i don't think so.

it's just smth i want to do i guess.

hmm

Currently Watching: Prince Of Persia: Sands Of Time

Cycles

funny how alluring that one thing you can't have is. but when you get it, you don't want it. so why is it when you lose it again, you realise you want it? wouldn't it make sense that you realise you didn't want it so you wouldn't want it anymore.

A green light, unkind
No where to go on a one track mind
It's a break down at the wrong time
I'm catching up but I'm still behind

We did it right, we did it right for some time
But I looked up and you were gone
We did it right, we did it right for some time
I couldn't give you what you want

Cause you just want to take a faster ride
Lower lows, higher highs
Get it, get it, go until you get it right
And I hope you find it
Cause you just want to take a faster ride
Lower lows, higher highs
But you just got to kiss me one more time
So just kiss me goodbye

A red light, wrong way
I'm just a game that you like to play
It's a hot start to your cold ways
You got bored then you walked away

You did it right, you did it right for some time
But I looked up and you were gone
You did it right, you did it right for some time
I couldn't give you what you want

Cause you just want to take a faster ride
Lower lows, higher highs
Get it, get it, go until you get it right
And I hope you find it
Cause you just want to take a faster ride
Lower lows, higher highs
But you just got to kiss me one more time
So just kiss me goodbye

So now you're moving on (you're moving on)
With no regrets (with no regrets)
But I'm still hanging on (I'm hanging on)
To every word you said (to every word you said)

But you just want to take a faster ride
Lower lows, higher highs
Get it, get it, go until you get it right
But you'll never find it, no

Cause you just want to take a faster ride
Lower lows, higher highs
Get it, get it, go until you get it right
And I hope you find it
Cause you just want to take a faster ride
Lower lows, higher highs
But you just got to kiss me one more time
Just kiss me goodbye

So just kiss me goodbye

Cartel

funny how the album name turned out to be a perfect title for this post.

Currently Listening To: Faster Ride - Cartel

The World, Just Isn't Right

it's just not right i tell you.


for now, there's ppl, whom the whole world should be making fun of, but they don't. why? cuz they're nice. so they treat the person normal.

so fine. ppl are nice. that's fine and normal and right.


BUT, the messed up part is the weird ppl are the ones making fun of ppl!

like come on. that's not right, why is the weirdo making fun of ppl??

langsung tak sedar diri man.


like ppl show graciousness and be kind to weirdo, but weirdo is happily being mean to other ppl.


figures huh.


once again proving that nice guys/ppl finish last.

Currently Watching: Scrubs - Season 5 Episode 10

Forgive You

i know i'm supposed to.

and i know i eventually will.

but just maybe it'll be just before i die.

or maybe even i won't.


but for now, i can't. cause once again, you're asking me to give and you're just gonna take.

i refuse to be used.

so if you're not gonna try and make any effort to make things right, and u just plan to sit there and let everything come to you, then screw you. i'm not doing anything.


what you did is unacceptable.

i refuse to forgive it with a fake sorry you don't even mean.

remember, words mean shit.

so seriously, u have come to me with nothing, so i'm gonna leave you with nothing.

go screw yourself. leave me alone. i'm fine this way. :)

Currently Listening To: Telephone - Lady GaGa ft Beyonce

Never Take Friendship Personal

There's a hatchet got a knife
When I awoke there was nothing real in this life
But dreams are so intoxicating, (intoxicating)
When you're doing this alone
Gun, rope, brick on the way
But words have no meaning when its you that says
I really do care, no baby I, I really do care!

Innocence gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?
In a sense gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?

Once a skeptic, now the critic
And you think that you finally found a place of your own.
Amongst the cold and timid souls
Where only failure knows your name

Look around for the closest to blame
But look no further than the hands beneath your arms
and now your 6 feet down, buried with,
with your passing fame fame fame fame.

Innocence gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?
In a sense gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?

Oh, oh, oh, you lie
Tell me something more than what you tried to hide
If you can't find yourself, then how can I expect to find you.
Oh, oh, oh, you cry
Tell me something more than what you try
The greatest tragedy is not your death
But a life without reason, your life has no purpose
Your life has no reason, your life has no purpose

Innocence gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?
In a sense gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?

Innocence gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?

Anberlin

something i totally need to learn.

Currently Listening To: Paperthin Hymn - Anberlin

But When You Realise It, It'll Be Too Late

it's not what you want.

but, ure so scared that if you let go what you have, you may not find anotherm which is similar cuz that's what you're comfortable with.

you know your heart is not at rest.

but you want it to be. you want to be able to say "Yeah I'm happy" with a clear conscience.

but you can't. so you go on living your life everyday saying "Yeah this is what i want" even though you don't believe it.


and by the time you realise that when you could have let go and moved on to be happy, u've invested too much in what you have, it'll be too late.

because you'll tell yourself "What can i do? I've settled for this the whole time. I've put so much effort in this" that you won't leave even if you're not happy.


so you go on to live the rest of your days being miserable. cuz now it's too late.


my advice, do the things that make you happy, and that feels right and comfortable with you.

and don't ever fool yourself into thinking you're happy when you're not.

cuz well, at the end of the day, it's you who's gonna suffer.


but then again, who am i to tell you all these things right?

so go, go back to being 'happy'.

i hope i'm wrong. :)

Currently Listening To: 19/2000 [Soulchild Remix] - Gorillaz

I Deserved It

put it this way.

imagine, there's this terrorist. who has killed ppl. and is planning to kill more. but nobody knows who he is.

then he gets shot by some random person.

now that you know the background of the story, u probably might say, "well, he deserved what he got"


but imagine u din know the background. all you'd get is:

He got shot by some random person.


and now u say "damn that random guy for killing an innocent civilian"



so i guess, though random guy's action is bad (cuz he's killing someone), just maybe the other guy deserved it.

Currently Listening To: My First Kiss - 3Oh!3

I'm Still Bitter

not cool.

Currently Listening To: Girl Next Door (Acoustic) - Saving Jane

Surprisingly Not Surprising

you know how it's like when you suspect something, but you're not sure about that thing.

so you start doing "research" on that thing you suspect.

and in your head, it's like you have the answer. and you're like pretty sure.

so as you go on, halfway you find what you're looking for.

but instead of being all surprised, you just skim through the fact, and don't even notice you've found what you're looking for. and it's like you already knew it.


funny how suspecting something, turns into a fact already in your head. and when something real comes by to prove you right, you find, you don't need it after all.

in actual fact, you did need that proof. to make sure that your suspicion is true. but ur mind convinces yourself so well, that you believe you didn't need it.

Currently Listening To: Chase This Light - Jimmy Eat World

Punishment

you know it's a punishment when you're suffering.

well i'm kinda suffering. considering how so many ppl i know went. and i wanted to go. and i usually go "every year".

but haih. the year when everything is PERFECT to go, a.k.a. a lot of my friends were going, it's smth i usually go for, it sounds like fun etc. and that's the year, i don't/not allowed to go.

but haih, i guess i deserve it for letting what happened to me that 2 saturdays ago.


so it's true, if you screw up, u get punished. and you suffer.

oh well. i deserved it.



but, the good thing is, i still had a good time tonight. i love hanging out with my friends. it was really good tonight. :) had fun. :)


although some people's behaviours were disappointing, i'm not gonna let it affect me.



it was still good. i even learnt smth tonight abt being punished for wrong done.

so, tonight = good night. :)


Goodnight! :)

Currently Listening To: I Can Love You Like That - All 4 One