Sunday, September 30, 2007

Are You A Part Time Christian?

think abt it.


*ps.: the pic is supposed to be a satire (sarcastic) btw.

Didn't Think It Would End Like This

honestly it turned out better than i tought. ure right. talking is a real good way to settle things. ure absolutely right. sry for denying it at first. but we're still not done. n i feel there's still so much that needs to be said and talked abt. i'm sure u feel the same way too. thx for finally opening and saying things from ur heart. thx for trusting me. but as u know, things wont pop right back into the place that we would have liked it to be. jus think abt this, if what u did is what i did to you, how would u want me to fix it? thats what i wanna know. hopefully i remember to ask u the next time. n what would you do to make this better?


haih. jus cant study my spec math man. this sux. cant concentrate and there's jus so much to do n so little time. i'm so gonna die la. haih. i need to study soooooo much.................. die.............


i'm sure u guys will do absolutely fine. haha. u guys jus haf to think "i must try to be as great as ben" then i'm sure u guys can do it. cuz if u think "i'm gonna do my best" thats not good enuf. ;) hahahhaha!!!! jus joking. feelin knda high now. hahaha.

k i better go study! man this is the third or fourth time i've ended my blogging with this line. sheesh. i shudn't even be blogging.

oh yeah! Heroes Season 2! not bad la so far. curious to see how it goes. n if u want a spoiler, but not such a great one la of course jus some minor thing which u prob won't even care abt, highlight this ----> Someone died in the first episode.

k thats all. gtg. bye!

Because its dragging me down
I would like to know about when
When does it all turn around?
Mute Math

*p.s.: when i said i didn't do it means i didn't k. y do u always haf to try what i do? haih. =(

Currently Listening To: Typical - Mute Math

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Mr. Deeds

just finished watching Mr. Deeds. you could see that Babe really meant what she said to Deeds and she was really guilty and regretted it so much that she just lied to him. the way she said if she has to beg for the rest of her life for forgiveness just to be with him she would gladly do it cuz she really loved him and wanted him. n even b4 that when she came to find him and say how guilty she felt. n she even had to fight that huge lady so she could find him. crap. the lady could haf killed her and she still fought.

imagine someone doing anything and giving up everything in their life for someone they love.
giving up everything.

crap. wish i had someone like that. haih.

nvm. its jus a story. fairy tales nvr come true anyway. but i still wish so......

Love songs suck and fairy tales aren't true
And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you
Bowling For Soup

but i definitely wish it was a happy ending.

Currently Listening To: Smoothie King - Bowling For Soup

This Is So Much Better Than Silence

i was thinkin abt it. n i was wondering y. then it hit me. its obvious. it fits now. perfectly. man was i blind and stupid. everything just fit now. so weird. its like finish so long ago yet now when i realise it hurts. wow. i'm really that much huh. the smile, the laugh, the call. wow. i'm like freaking blur.

crap. haih.

So deep that it didn’t even bleed and catch me,
The Used


well i'm kinda happy i made that decision. cant say what decision cuz there are certain eyes watching this blog who will kill me over my happiness for the decision i made. plus i gotta keep that whole thing next week shut in me. hayoo... problematic la when u got so many ppl checking up on u n all.

k spec math i should go study now. like really. its 3pm now. n whaddya know, waiting again. when am i not waiting i wonder. haha.

Currently Listening To: Luckie St. - Cartel

Friday, September 28, 2007

The Most Hated Guy

those who know me well enuf know that i dun like having stuff which everyone has. i'd prefer to be me and special and i don't like being treated like any other guy. i'm me. and cuz of this i dun like ppl having the same stuff as me. as some of u know that recently i've grown to dislike ppl who have the same phone as me. i purposely went for that phone for one reason is cuz noone i knew had it when i wanted it. i had actually chosen some other phone but then when i found out i had frens who had it i cancelled it out.

so now i chose a phone which no one had and i wud be like one of the pioneers having it. makes me special (yes i know it sounds pathetic the way i try to be special so much but too bad. haha.). but! sudd i see a month plus later MY PHONE starts popping out here and there. some close ppl i know also buy it. even my cousin! but i cant dislike these close ppl right. so i haf to deal with it. so now its the random strangers with the same phone that piss me off. i mean come on la. go buy some other phone can or not? so many other lousier models to choose from. heck, if u want an even lousier model u can go for Sony Erricson la and leave the whole Nokia great range out of ur buying list.

so u can imagine la my irritation seeing other ppl using MY PHONE. but then i realised that a person having the same phone as mine isn't the worst part. why? thats because i met this guy.........

look at the counter and what he has on his wallet or dunno what. yes its two phones. and whats worse its TWO OF MY PHONES!

This is officially the most hated guy.

oh yeah. i forgot to mention earlier. 3 ppl's Bday today. so a shout out goes to guys. and girl.





and thats abt it. havent studied yet again. crap. totally my fault. practised guitar tho. which is good. i love the super distorted sound now. makes playing meant to live so much better. haha. oooohhh. n i've managed to add another song to the songs-i-can-play-blindfolded list. Switchfoot's Stars. pretty proud of myself right now. haha!

kk. hmm. looks like things are all downhill from here. can anything be saved. will anything be more than jus a touch? i wonder.

And scars remind us
That the past is real

Papa Roach

Currently Listening To: Are You Happy Now - Michelle Branch


This is how it looks like at the time i go for my exams. No it's not night, it's 6 smth in the morning. Not only is it damn early, the place can be creepy too. Thats y its best to not go alone.

like really. Chem was pretty bad la. i needed more time. haih. i tot i had it all planned out properly each booklet had 4 questions. the test was 3 hours. so each booklet shud take one hour as they have the same amount of question. but still there was not enough time! n i skipped some questions. what annoyed me most during the exam was how i was telling Solehah that the glucose and alcohol stuff is important and she shud read it jus a few minutes before we went into the hall. i knew it was important yet i din check it. y din i check!! stupid me. yes that part came out and i cudn't answer. *@$%. so at the end i cudn't answer and there wasn't enuf time. how much not enuf time? when the lady said ten (or maybe 18) minutes left, i still had 2 more questions to do and there was an essay part in the last question. crap la. hopefully my crappy answers can pass off as legitamate answers.

well left one more paper and i dun want to mess this paper up. Spec Math. sheesh. haf to study. yet i'm playing for worship this sunday again. hope i haf enuf time to study. but i haf to work at it and not just talk.

was watching spongebob today and i found it so lame. more than usual this time. i dunno y. its jus so stupid. i actually think i'm laughing more now at things i wouldn't laugh at last time. weird. haha. oh n i watched scrubs for the first time too today. k that show i will definitely haf to say is hilarious. n has that good teachings too. like how heroes always ends with some great quote and all.

wait. heroes...... oh yeah! Season 2 is out! k gtg. download time. =D

yea. no emo post for now. i think i'm losing feeling. dunno. hmm.

I love the way I feel today 
But how I know the sun will fade
Darker days seem to be
What will always live in me
But still I run
Alter Bridge

Currently Listening To: Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

Thursday, September 27, 2007

It Feels Better

yea. it does. letting stuff out in the blog. these things need to get out of my mind so i can concentrate on other stuff.

n i really cant believe when ppl look at ur sms and say i dunno what to say. its more like i dun wanna say anything right now. i'll jus leave this and go do other stuff first. i mean like come on la. u look at the sms takkan ur mind is blank?

the longer the wait, the less time u have. n finally there wont be time anymore. cuz i for one feels i'm totally but slowly disappearing. n u know that too and i can see u want that too. yet u feel its me who wants it?

so this is what my blog is for. to let things out. whether exaggerated or not. n no, ure not obliged to comment on every post i made. preferbly jus read them. thx. cuz it gets annoying when i get a comment from the same person for every post.

n u know, ppl get used to things. i believe its called adaptation. soon i'll get used to not recieving anything from u, not hearing anything from u and basically not having you. is that your plan? cuz now i dunno anything abt you and its starting to not bug me anymore. n soon i'll prob get used to not getting any smses from you. looks like ur plan is working perfectly.

haih. stupid me.

And baby I understand how your making new friends
This is how you get by
Mayday Parade

ps.: I forgot to mention this in my earlier post n i forgot to mention it here too til i remembered of course. the blog's gonna go private again. thats all

Currently Listening To: A Decade Under The Influence - Taking Back Sunday

It's Like Forced, Yet It's Not

k referring to my previous post, i decided that i wont tell anyone. cuz its smth i've been trusted with. so i'd prefer to just shut up and not say anything. i've trained myself not to let out anyone's secret or anything they tell me not to tell anyone or even things which they wouldn't want ppl to know. so i'm not gonna start now by telling.

but honestly. its seriously fine la. i was jus overreacting in the previous post. mengada only. haha. chill la u ppl. i'm still ok. haha. my posts are usually exaggerated so dun think much of it.

k some weird stuff has happened these past few days. like the fact that those two ppl jus seems so quiet like there was some problem on the way back after the exam that day. they seemed fine beofre but in the cdar it was jus too quiet. i felt like i was the one trying to make them talk but noone wanted to budge from the silence. i dont even know y they were so silent for. cuz i've travelled with both of them seprately b4 and the was no communication probs. its so weird. maybe they were angry with each other or smth. so putting both of them in the same car = not good idea. but how am i supposed to know if they're not ok. they both seem like fine with me. sheesh. girls are nvr meant to b understood la. n now i'm wondering if i shud haf taken them both that day. ish. this is y sometimes its not good to invite urself for stuffs. its better to get invited. but nvm. its over n i dun think i shud think of it.

trials are goin on right now. ESLS was ok, Physics was bad, Math was ok also. Chem is tmrw n i spent the whole afternoon studying. cuz the whole morning i was sleeping la. haha. but i havent been able to concentrate much the past few days. mind keeps wandering off some place else. of course not that i want it to wander la. it jus happens. i end up spending half an hour on one page. or smth like that la. need to concentrate badly tonight. must not think of anything else. i must do well tmrw. haih.

my credit jus seems to have suddenly gone down so much. this is bad. crap la. i think i may need to top up soon. maybe later when i go and repark the car. crap la. spending too much and i dunno how.

oh talking abt credit, those of you on hotlink shud really try the super savers thing. its jus 2 bucks and you can talk as much as you to any maxis number from 12 am to 12 pm. and its not only for one maxis number its to any maxis number. so that means u can talk for 12 hours non-stop to any maxis number or a few maxis numbers and it will only cost u 2 bucks. but from 12am to 12pm la. but still its totally worth it. n this time its not some scam. haha. its been tested and it does work. trust me. haha.

n my cap has finally become my symbol at college. cuz i'm like the only guy apparent;y walking around with my cap. kinda cool u know. to have ur own identity. n not b like anyone else. seriously, other ppl who wear my cap also get called by my name. sheesh. or maybe that had some other meaning. hmm. nvm. haha. i'll prob b the-guy-who-walks-around-with-his-jacket-hood-up-when-my-cap-is-stolen-by-some-ppl next too. well, at least ppl will know its me even if they think its weird. haha.

still waiting........................ din know i was such a hard person to talk to. i mean things cant get any worse than it already is right? or could it? or has it already got any worse? is it so hard to prove me wrong?

eh crap. sounds like i've said that before. heh. looks like things nvr change huh.

The words are coming I feel terrible
Is it typical for us to act like this
Am I just another scene
From a movie that you've seen 100 times
Mayday Parade

Currently Listening To: Still Waiting - Sum 41

Sunday, September 23, 2007

I Need To Tell Someone

i really need to. i dunno if i'm overreacting over smth that is normal or am i not. am i the only in this world feeling this way? shud i be upset? shud i feel the way i do? am i being too traditional? am being so conservative? is it wrong to want things to be special and not given away jus like that?

is it really smth wrong with me and the way i think? i cant stand it.

i really feel like telling someone. having someone advise me on this. i need to know if i'm overreacting. it bugs me everyday. how can u think its ok? i've never been brought up to think its ok. but is it really ok? there must be a reason it happened. is it cuz its normally ok?

aih i dunno. i jus know its wrong. but am i the only one thinking this way?

why'd u haf to be like this? =(

i really really wish i cud tell someone.

i really need to know.

it kills me every single second of this life of mine not knowing whether its right or wrong.

but i can't tell.

the worst part is its for u that i cant tell anyone.


When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
Goo Goo Dolls

Currently Listening To: Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

Saturday, September 22, 2007

I Studied Today

no seriously i did. not much. but its smth. n yet i'm extremely unhappy with myself for studying so little. nvm. i'll go bathe later and put a bit more into my head. sheesh. my trials is sooo gonna die. haihh. jus can't concentrate. =/

Quotes for the day:

Stay away from her.

Huh? Why?

She tried to take my picture in standard 6. I always thought she'd frame it up, put it at her bedside and look at it each time before she falls asleep.

hahahhahaha! ;D

oh check out this vid. The song is This Is The End (For You My Friend) by Anti-Flag. recommended by CHAN SU TENG. video also found by her. THANKS SU TENG!! =D (happy tak?? ;P )

Video & Song of the Day:

Moral from the video:

i love vids and songs like these which tell u not to believe/follow what the world says. smth to think abt.

Song Quote of the Day:
Seems every station on the TV
is selling something no one can be
If every page was torn from the magazine
would cash still drive the media machine?
The products, damage and pursuit are endless
identity can leave you selfless

oooohhh i fnially heard Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girls. i still dun see whats so great abt the song. its like jus OKAY ONLY. thats all. dun even see y ppl like it. actually its like a little less than ok la. i cant understand ppl la. like how some find Avril's When You're Gone to be so nice and sweet and all. i think the song really is bad. sure the lyrics are nice and meaningful and all, but it jus so doesn't fit the music and the rest of the song. even the music is kinda messed up. sheesh. another example is Jimmy Eat World's 23. like seriously la. whats so great abt the song?? i heard it the first time that day and i tot it was quite boring. no dun get me wrong. i love J.E.W.. they got so many good songs. but i jus dun see whats so nice and great abt 23. it's jus another song. nth special la. k i'm prob gonna get blasted by all these ppl who love these songs soon. so i guess i shud stop here. enemies from 3 diff songs is enuf for one day. ;)

i'm not sure abt what else i wanna say. no mood to emo. guess i wasn't meant to emo heh dana. haha.

Currently Listening To: Masochist - Ingrid Michaelson

Friday, September 21, 2007

No Comments On That

it wud be just easier to say no. so if nth has change or nth is different, what shud i consider again? to get hurt again? hmmm. i think i'll pass on that.

n now u know whats it feel like when ur sms dun get replied. yea sure give u time to think, but even u cudnt give that cud u? u wud prefer a msg instantly. now u know how i feel. but if u need time u cud jus tell. but u dun either so i've come to learn that when u dun msg back soon its cuz ure thinking and u need time off. so now i know u need time so jus msg me when ure done. u know how it feels now.

n i'm jus so curious wit the way u acted. y d sudden urgency to want everything back to normal? i'm sure u've been talking to someone tho u wont tell me that. what has this person been telling u? what has the person made u think? what have u told the person? why the open ur mind thing? i know u've been talking to somebody.

yes i'm assuming. its what i do when i dunno stuffs. i'm sry.

We're turning our clocks back.
Just never ourselves.
So go with the flow,
Just relax. (Just relax.)
You never feel the jet lag,
Unless you're trying to fit in.

Taking Back Sunday


u know, i realise no one in my house calls the cat by its actual name assigned to it. k its official name, for those who dunno, is Miaow Miaow. the name was suggested by me but i din know they wud seriously use it. anyway, no one actually calls it that. My mom and sis call it Miaow. My dad calls it puss in boots. and i call it DC which stands for Dumb Cat. n surprisingly i think it likes me best. haha. oh i've got a video of it playing hide n seek. ask me for it if u want it. its seriously cute la. n i dun call much stuff cute too.

crap la. studying hasnt been going well at all. been thinking of stuff. i need to concentrate. like really. so little time left. n crap i'm wasting even more time blogging here. but i jus needed to. oh well.

on the good side, at least i know that both Uni's have got my application form and are processing/processed it. now i jus need to do my accomodation form. like now. k i shall do it after blogging. i promise. wow. very soon i'll be leaving huh. leaving everyone and living life on my own. another chance to start a new life. i hope i have the right frens to keep me on the right path there. like seriously anything cud happen there. i'm scared of that. haih. oh well.

well, all this is happening and time is running out. kinda depressing. haih.

k i shud do my stuff n go study. like now. bye!

Currently Listening To: Lostprophets - Sway...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Free At Last

finally after so long i'm free from all my assignments. k not all la. still have spec math coming up. but, considering i had to sleep at 3 and wake up at 7 again to finish my ESLS i feel pretty darned good. plus i finished up my gorups Math project, printed it and also binded it up and passed itup. n the best part is, when i sent my Math project in i got back my Math test results. yea, the one i tot i did really horribly and was emoing that night. but apparently i din do so horrible! i got 85%! so i'm feeling preety good right now. or maybe cuz i came back and jus slept la so i'm feeling sorta fresh and happy i got back my lost sleep feeling.

the bad thing that happened today is that i almost into an accident. n no i its not my fault. at least i dun think so. basically i was following behind these two cars when suddenly they both turned off and i see right in front of me a stationary car who was waiting to turn off the road. so i had to slam the brakes. ok maybe not that hard la. but thankfully i managed to stop in time and also there was a lot of space la between. but i felt it was damn scary. esp since my last accident. this i really thank God so much. i seriously had to break hard k. even my food flew a bit forward from the seat. lucky me man. seriously.

speaking of food. i had to eat alone today cuz everyone seemed to be busy or had eaten way earlier already. i ate lunch at 3 smth k. sheesh. haih. so depressing having to buy back. what was funny tho was the expression the guy gave when i said i wanted to mix my drinks. i tot it was normal. i mixed Ribena and Sprite. it was ok la. cudn't really taste much of the Ribena tho. last time 7-Up and Ribena tasted good. now thats smth to try. maybe she shud go and make a stand for that drink and claim copyright for it too. really good mix. haha.

there is one reason i choose not to top up. cuz when u top up. somehow u wont get any msges. but when you DONT top up, every-freaking-body in the whole world will sudd msg u smth to ask abt smth and its smth u really need to answer. of course msges to chat dun count la. those msg i wud want to reply so i'd prefer to get them. its the annoying msges that you NEED to reply that i get when i DONT have credit. so i jus haf to wait until they call me or smth. haha. but when i DO top up. sudd everyone knows everything and doesn't msg. wasting my money go top up only -_-. so its better if i dun top up and make those ppl suffer. however i suffer cuz i cant msg ppl i want to reply too la. oh well.

well, now that my projects are all done. i shud really concentrate on studying. maybe i shud go to the library or smth. hmm.

oh ya. got an extremely awesome song. super meaningful and nice. recommended by Jin again. now this is y u shud listen to ppl who look for songs based on lyrics and not the band or the music. really good song. read the words. and yes its a super slow song. only piano. so yes most of u wud enjoy it. sheesh. i do listen all sorts of music la ok.

********Miserable At Best********

Katie, don't cry, I know

You're trying your hardest

And the hardest part is letting go

Of the nights we shared

Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting

But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright

And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend you're alone tonight

(I know he's there)

You're probably hanging out and making eyes

(while across the room, he stares)

I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor

And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say

Or her to second guess

But I guess

That I can live without you but

Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all I hoped I'd find

In every single way

And everything I could give

Is everything you couldn't take

Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away

And the hardest part of living

Is just taking breaths to stay

Because I know I'm good for something

I just haven't found it yet

But I need it

So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight

(I know he's there)

You're probably hanging out and making eyes

(while across the room, he stares)

I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor

And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say

Or her to second guess

But I guess

That I can live without you but

Without you I'll be miserable at best

ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh

And this will be the first time in a week

That I'll talk to you

And I can't speak

Been three whole days since I've had sleep

Because I dream of his lips on your cheek

And I got the point that I should leave you alone

But we both know that I'm not that strong

And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight

(I know he's there)

You're probably hanging out and making eyes

(while across the room, he stares)

I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor

And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say

Or her to second guess

But I guess

That I can live without you but

Without you I'll be miserable

And I can live without you

But without you I'll be miserable

And I can live without you

Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

********Mayday Parade********

Currently Listening To: Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


I'm currently very pissed off with myself.

i went and brilliantly spoiled my earphones for my phone by accidently pulling it when it was stuck to Cemara's Starbucks table. *bloodytable*

so now one whole side of the earphone came off the wires. *swears*

that means no more enjoying music from my phone. no more being able to block out noises of ppl talking. no more isolating myself from everyone else. no more me time. and worst of all: NO MORE MUSIC!!! *SWEARS!*

there goes my life la. now i haf a solid reson for suicide.


ESLS assignment isn't going well. but thats my fault. Math is ok. i feel i contributed quite a lot in terms of ideas and the running of things. but maybe not that much too. hmm.

anyway, i got back today and started watching tv and guess who i saw performing with Carlos Santana this time? Chad Kroeger! but thats not the shocking part at all. the part i found amazing was that Chad had left his curly locks behind and gone for straight hair! he looked sooooo different! looked pretty good too if i must say. hmmmm..... maybe i........ heh. haha. (ps. for those who dunno who's Chad, he is the lead singer for band Nickelback). Oh yeah the song was good too. i liked it. so with nothing much else to post, i'll leave u with a video. =D

We were spinning in circles
with the moon in our eyes
No room left to move
in between you and I
We forgot where we were
and we lost track of time
And we sang to the wind
as we danced through the night
Chad Kroeger

Currently Listening To: Into The Night - Carlos Santana feat. Chad Kroeger

Sunday, September 16, 2007


this is gonna be one heck of a challenge. seriously. cuz right now i'm sort of resisting. i think. but its also for the best and also to see how things go. well, if u can do it so can i right? i'll take u up on ur challenge k. hoefully it all goes well and makes me better after all this.

but what if i need to break the challenge? how shud i know when to do it? i don't want to make things worse. knowing you-know-who, some really bad stuff can happen cuz of who they are. i'm scared at the same time.

but its not my battle. i shudn fight.

leave it ben. jus freaking leave it!

Currently Listening To: Here Is Gone - Goo Goo Dolls

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Louder Now

Taking Back Sunday

Because this album has awesoe songs to quote by. U'll see why.

Looked so close, it's been months, who knows if I,
Will get this right.
Whats It Feel Like To Be A Ghost?

All our secrets they are tailored trouble.

Liar. (Liar.)
Liar (It Takes One To Know One)

You've got this new head filled up with smoke.

You are everything I want.
'Cause you are everything I'm not.

I just wanna break you down so badly.
Well I trip over everything you say.
I just wanna break you down so badly.
In the worst way.


So this is what we're up against?
So this is what we're up against?

Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.
Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.

Regrets always work.
Excuses are better.
A practical exchange,
Or a trade for the truth.
But you know it never held up. (But you know it never held up.)
Pretend that it still could now.

Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting.
And every minute is a minute away.
Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.

We're turning our clocks back.
Just never ourselves.
So go with the flow,
Just relax. (Just relax.)
You never feel the jet lag,
Unless you're trying to fit in.

Face it.
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.
Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.
(Every minute is a minute away.)

Less is more except,
When it comes to mistakes.
How long is long?
That depends,
How long it takes.

Less is more except, (How long?)
When it comes to mistakes. (How long?)
How long is long? (How long?)
That depends, (How long?)
How long it takes.

Not years, not months ,
Not days, your blackout memory.
Not years, not months,
Not days, your blackout memory.

Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting.
And every minute is a minute away.
Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,

And every minute is a minute away.
(Every minute is a minute away.)
Every minute is a minute.
And a minute and a minute away.
Up Against (Blackout)

Dull heat rises from the sheets.
I'm both a patient boy,
Well, and a jealous man. ( Am I coming? )
But double standardized suspicion,
Is remedied, oh, my blue heaven,
Sometimes, it just feels better to give in.
( Sometimes, it just feels better to give in. )

And it's all too familiar,
And it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine,
Little pieces that avoid an awful crime,
But it's you I can't deny.
( You I can't deny. )
My Blue Heaven

The view from this side's not what,
I thought it'd be.
Promise something different.
I do, I don't need you like you think...
I do, I don't, I don't need you like you think...
I do, I don't, I don't need you like you think...
I do, you don't, you just don't... leave me alone.
Twenty-Twenty Surgery

That look was priceless, don't let me get carried away.
I've seen it before, and it still suits you the same.

You had your chance! (You had your chance!)
Open arms reject assuming hands. (Arms reject assuming hands.)

Despondent, distracted,
You're vicious and romantic;
These are a few of my favorite things.
All of those flavors and,
This is what you choose:
Past the blues, past the blues,
And on to something new.
So if you're calling me out,
Then count me out.
Divine Intervention

The whole truth,
And nothing but the truth.
Stop me if you've heard this one before.
The whole truth, (The whole truth.)
Is nothing but a good excuse, (Good excuse.)
"So as long as you don't torture me with my past. "
Let's be honest; a secret silenced,
Is a secret safe.
The terror held in wedding bells.
The comfort in, "There's no one else. "
The truth be told I'm never gonna know.

But would you do it again, again?
And count backwards from ten.
(Look I don't make those mistakes no more.)
Sometimes I swear I can see straight through you.

Just concentrate, control.
But would you do it again?

We can't go back.
Can't go back.
Can't go back, we can't...
We can't go back.
Can't go back.
Can't go back, we can't...
Error: Operator

I've come to expect, the standards you have set.
Closer that I look is just,
The further that you get.
Already, stubborn skin thickens, an attempt to understand.
I know it's not what you deserve.
(It's not what you deserve.)
I'll Let You Live

some relate don't it.

if i had cash i would so buy this album.

Currently Listening To: Spin - Taking Back Sunday

The Seven Things Tag

Seven things to be done before my death.
1. Form a band and play on stage
2. perform solo maybe?
3. find someone who will last
4. buy a Gibson Les Paul
5. go for another rock concert
6. grow my hair long and dye it
7. learn to play a love song

Seven things I will NOT do even if it kills me.
1. deny being a christian
2. give up music
3. have sex with anyone who isn't my wife
4. smash my guitar into the ground
5. forgive anyone who causes the ppl i love harm
6. waste money
7. say that it's all ok and mean it.

Seven things I do when I'm away from the public.
1. Sing
2. play with my hair
3. be emo
4. day dream
5. jump around my room while playing guitar
6. toilet stuff la of course
7. uh, play guitar? haha.

Seven fav sentences/quotes.
1. Holy Crap
2. ok thats just crap
3. What The Crap
4. Shit
5. Biar ah
6. yaaa suuurreee....
7. niiiiccceeee....

Seven favourite songs from all time
1. Cute Without The 'E' (Cut From The Team) - Taking Back Sunday
2. Here Is Gone - Goo Goo Dolls
3. Spin - Taking Back Sunday
4. Here's Your Letter - blink-182
5. All Day - Hillsong United
6. Shinobi Vs. Dragon Ninja - Lostprophets
7. Minority - Green Day

Seven things I'll make you wish you didn't do if you did.
1. cause me to hate you
2. destroy my guitar
3. destroy my music collection
4. treat me like crap
5. hurt my friends
6. insult my religion
7. lie to me n make me believe in smth that is important to me

Seven people to tag.
1. Joel
2. Jin
3. Grace
4. Michelle
5. Eujeen
6. Julian
7. cant think of any other names di. haha.

Colour me stupid
Good luck
You're gonna need it
Where I'm going if I get there...
At all....
Green Day

Currently Listening To: Waiting - Green Day

Friday, September 14, 2007


heh. yes its true. i puasa-ed. haha. n no its not cuz i'm turning into a Muslim or trying to impress some girl or anything like that. haha. it was jus out of curiosity's sake that i tried it. yea only one day. n let me tell u. it wasn't easy k. imagine having no food or water for 14 hours. k maybe not that. imagine having food and water but NOT EATING it for 14 hours. its damn torturous to your stomach. esp from the time after lucnh. thats when your stomach starts grumbling and saying "eh moron! go eat la u!".

so yea. i woke up at 5 smth to eat then went back to sleep at abt 5.30. then went through the whole day without eating til 7.30. yea buka puasa time was actually at 7.15 but my fren forgot to tell me so i had to wait til i got confirmation from him. which came 15 minutes later. =_= oh well, my tomach got used to the pain by then. haha. n dinner tasted soooo good. ok maybe not la. haha!

anyway, i jus wanna say i'm damn bangga that i managed to last. eventho it may not be much la. respect my Muslim frens who do it everyday. haha!

oooo and this week i also came into a large amount of money. =D

RM1110.00 to be exact. dun believe u go count la the money there. haha!

this week was a week of ups and downs for sure. i'm talking abt my marks. haha. mt math test went horrible i blieve. i found it sooo tough and its like everything went absolutely wrong. haih.
but i got back my Spec Math and my Chem marks which were i would say totally awesome. i got 90 for Spec Math which was amazing cuz i nvr even dreamt of getting a high B. n for Chem i got my first A which was 84. so yea. i'm kinda overjoyed. altho there were some really stupid mistakes......

i officially declare noone dumber than me.

i realise this week that its always better to get invited to anything. for anything at all. like to dinner, to hang out, to take a ride, to go have fun etc. cuz it shows that the person actually wants you there. the person enjoys your company. plus not only it wud be weird to invite urself, it wud be worse if u weren't supposed to invite urself. cept maybe for the car ride if the persons car was full la. but it's always a great feeling to be invited. like youre wanted. =)

i've been walking around Intec with my jacket and cap and i'm sure there are tons of ppl who are saying that i'm prob poser cuz it aint that cold and i'm wearing a jacket and i'm trying to look cool by dressing up like that. but hey. i jus stopped caring. i wear my jacket not cuz i want to look cool. it IS cold in my class plus i really love my jacket a lot that i'd rather not jus leave it in my class. and i wear my cap cuz my hair long and i'm jus too lazy to bother to try combing it. so if i'm a poser to you, fine by me. cuz i know who i am. ure just annoying thats all. =)

haih. n the days draw closer to when i leave. had a briefing abt the visa application and all today and i realise i've got like tons to do. passport, photo, letter of good conduct etc. man i feel so packed. plus with the added assignments. thank God i managed to finish my Moral yest. haih. stressness.


compared to how you make me feel, this felt good. =)

i really dunno where to go. i look back and i see this is not the way i want to go. this is not the way i SHOULD go. its jus wrong. but what the hell am i doing here? y do i keep waiting for you to change when we both know nothing will happen. we know your attitude is the give-up easy and take the road of best enjoyment. and that road doesn't have me, so y am i changing for you? y do i tell myself i need to change for you? you know you will never do the same. i shud stop changing from here onwards.

it's funny. i was talking to a fren the other day and we both agreed that its not fair to ask someone to change who they are. and she gave an example that like how it wud be not fair for someone to ask me to give up playing guitar cuz it is and will always be a huge part of me. it would be like giving up half my life. i might as well just lie in a coma.

but then i thought back. i did give up guitar for you. so that i could save a seat for you cuz u were tired of saving a seat for me. but u r the one who made me play again.

i cant believe i gave up guitar. or at least wanted to for a reason like that.

love is really makes u do stupid things.

You had your chance!
(You had your chance!)

Taking Back Sunday

ps.: no the pic isn't real. jus posing dun worry lauren.
ps 2.:
(Thanks Jin. The song rocks =) )

Currently Listening To: When I Get Home, You're So Dead - Mayday Parade

Friday, September 07, 2007

Stupid Cut

jus came back from worship practice. everything went well. except for one thing.

my stupid encounter with the knife is costing me dearly. i cant press the strings properly cuz the way the cut formed was in line with the way i press my strings. so yea if i press my strings, the strings will be "eating" into my epidermis straight. and yes it hurts like hell k.

so i tried to fix it by putting a plaster on it. it wroks thankfully! so i can still play! UNFORTUNATELY, the plaster tends to slip once in a while. so it does hurt at times. but i'm making do with it and paying for my act of playing with the knife. damn the cut is pretty deep la. ish.

note-to-self: do not play with knife at the tip of fingers. Other places is fine so far cuz it doesn't affect me playing my wife.


like what the crap happened again? was i supposed to do smth? but how was i to know. u nvr gave me a sign. u KNOW i wud have called if i knew u were free. which is y i hate calling. ure ALWAYS busy. frustration.

thank god i dun have credit man.

I want to block her out my mind
But I really can't do it
I tell myself this the last time
I'ma let her do this to me
Whenever we do spend time
I realize that I can't get enough of you

Currently Listening To: MMMBop - Hanson

It's That Feeling Joel.....

yes. the one where you come back to blog abt stuff you think abt but all the thought are lost. hopefully i'll remember by the end of this post.

nth much happened this week jus had a chem test which i fear went horribly horrible. but i felt happy that day. i guess cuz my Trogdor jacket kept me warm in the cold hall and i managed to get ppl annoyed by my HUMBLE t-shirt. haha! The math quiz i wud say is OK only since i got 88. finally an A after so long. i really need to buck up. there's another Math test coming up. i think i really want to put my back into it. want to. whether i do end up doing it is a different thing. haih.

i jus realise that being driven around by a girl can feel really weird. i mean, normally its the guy who drives the girl around, so when the girl drives the guy around it feels weird. esp when the girl is driving a manual and i'm like taking the easy way out by driving a auto. damn i so want a manual car right now. no la. this time i'm not saying anything bad abt lady drivers. cuz i actually cant complain. but just this time k! haha! ;P

Poji saw me listenig to my music that day and commented,

"Eh, you listen to your music everyday and the same playlist somemore, don't you ever get bored of it?"

and i realised one thing. i never get bored of things that i like. i can listen to the same songs again and again and not get bored. heck, sometimes i even listen to the song 20 times in a row. same goes for my "breakfast" and also my snacks. i jus eat the same Appolo Chocolate Layer Cake like almost everyday.

I've at least eaten 6 dozen since July

like i can play the same songs over and over again without getting bored (this maybe because i have a limited knowledge of playing other songs but thats besides the point.) so no, if i like something i won't get bored of it. i dunno why, i guess i'm jus made like that. guess it explains some other stuff too..........

it was Brian's bday also this week. man they cake they got him...., seriously. its like so thick and full of goodness. maybe cuz its from Secret Recipie eh? haha!

yest night was Cultural Night which went really well. must go and congratulate Erica for a job well done in heading the whole thing. basically it was a night hosted by the students and lecturers of the classes taking Malay Studies on culture and stuff. of course they also got help from some of the others from the other classes but mostly it was all them.

Fish, CK, Ang

Future Engineers + Brian (I had to bend down cuz i was too tall. =) haha! )

KS looking dashing and Organiser Lady, Erica looking stunning.

Clarence with the "Men In Black" look

the agenda was basically plays and silat performances and also lion dances and some other stuff. The plays were really good. i enjoyed watching all three of them. i tot the first one was the funniest but i only understood the third one the best.

Lion Dance

the first one was Empangan, a sort of musical, which talked abt some guy who came back from US or smth like that and abt some dam too. Vincent happened to be acting in the play too. as some crazy guy who was burning the lead characters car. he really was laughing like a psycho maniac. he could have really fooled anyone he was crazy. good acting too in the fight scene. they were like throwing each other around. must have hurt. later in the play they had a sort of trial going on (cuz of the burnt car) which they sang to in Malay to the tune of Green Day's Holiday. really good. like Poji said "Smart giler". the funny parts were when Mr. Kesh suddenly joined in the dancing troupe near the end and also how the photos (which were projected on the screen so everyone could see) of proof that Vincent burnt the lead character's car was of Vincent pouring "kerosene" on Mr. Kesh's car. nicely done. =)

Trial time

The other play was abt Wi and William. two frens where William is adored by the Wi's parents
which makes Wi jealous. Wi also ends up thinking that William is after his land to make a hotel to benefit William. but later finds out that the benefits from the hotel will be going to Wi because the land the hotel was built on was Wi's. it took a sad twist at the end where the girl Wi was after ended up with William. and he din want to do anything cuz he wanted her to be happy and also because he felt he owed William. haih. depressing end.

plans to leave suddenly his then there was also the third play which i couldn't remember the name. It was abt a guy named Azahari who leaves his girl in Malaysia to go to London to reclaim back his ancestor's property from some company. BUT the guy who owns the company, Mr. Swanson, doesn't want to give it back and says he nvr kept and property of Azahari's ancestors. so then he leaves but falls in love with Serena, Swanson's daugther. so they flirt around here and there and Swanson guy catches them one day and his bodyguards beats Azahari up cuz Swanson disapproves of their relationship. plus he forces Serena to say she doesn't love Azahari and the bloody idiot takes what she says seriously. so feeling really fed up now, Azahari goes to some French detective F.C (Francois Chevorlet or smth like that). so with the help of the detective he manages to expose Swanson as the liar and Swanson is arrested. and as Azahari is leaving too Serena comes in to see that her father has been arrested and when she tries to talk to Azahari, he just ignores her and walks off. so she lost her father and her love too. damn emo man. anyway, when AzahariMsian girl (Nadirah) shows up. so as they were abt to go spend time with each other he suddenly collapses and he ends up in the hospital. and as expected while Nadirah is temaning Azahari at the hospital, Serena finds out abt Azahari and comes to see him too. yea, conflict between the two girls. so then Serena forces him to choose between her and Nadirah. and i din catche what happened then but i guess Azahari choose Nadirah as the last scene showed both of the happily playing around while Serena was watching from a distance with her heart breaking with every move they made. cuz the one she loves is in the arms of another. then it ended. wah. damn emo man the story. pity Serena man. cuz of some curang guy she suffers. haih. but good acting from the actors. Ka Yi (Serena) did a really good job imitating the British accent. and Bob suited his role well too. haha.

after that was the prize giving ceremony for best drama and best actor and other stuff too. then came the special event. two German lecturers who met in Intec and got married decided to sort of have a wedding ceremony sort of thing in Intec as a celebration that they met at Intec. i tot they really good nice in the traditional Malay wedding costumes.

then basically it was jus that wedding stuff which got quite boring and all. then it was over! i wanted to stay on longer and chat around a bit but i had to leave cuz Jim wanted to go back and i was following him. haih. well cant complain since i'm gettin a free ride back.

nth much else happened. jus a normal week i wud say. oh i learnt that me and knives don't go so well. =)

k relax. it was an accident. but since i was bleeding i tot y not pose a bit. haha! n no Lauren and Ewern i did not cut myself. it was an ACCIDENT! so dun try and kill me all. haha


It's been 9 months already and you're still thinking of her.

i can't help it la. haih. i'm so lost and confused. i really need to say a lot of stuff. i can't live with your lifestyle. i just can't. i will never see it as ok or fine or anything like how you see it. i just cannot do it. and that incident still bugs me. cuz i feel i know nothing abt. i mean things like these don't jus happen overnight. it builds up. yet i knew nothing. ure really good at hiding stuff i must say.

u know it din even last a day. i felt good for that short while. it reall really did. like everything was back like how it should be. like everything mattered to you again.

then it disappeared. and only one thing changed. still trying to figure how exactly did it make you change.

but I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

Vertical Horzion

i'd quote the verses before this, but i wud just have to say it would be arrogant for me to do so.


oh btw ppl, i haf no credit at all and i'm not supposed to be online now anyway so yea.


Currently Listening To: Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon

Saturday, September 01, 2007


heh. apparently Merdeka time is like the drinking time for me. dun ask y but its jus like that. nice timing for drinks to sudd appear b4 me? haha.

but no no. i haven't got drunk yet. not ever k. for one thing, i dun think it's "cool" to drink to get drunk. and if you do get drunk it just shows you're weak to me. it also shows that you don't know your limits. and when you don't know your limits, you get drunk. and when you get drunk you lose control. and Jo told me last night that it's stated in the Bible that we shouldn't lose control of ourselves. so yea. i won't ever try to get drunk. cuz it's wrong. we shudn't lose control of ourselves.

plus Indians don't get drunk (Lim Wei Jun 2007). =P haha!

anyway, later that night there were fireworks too. unexpected ones which made it a night to remember even more. haha! they looked darn cool.

i've also got a video of the fireworks. it shows one part where the fireworks jus went on for quite some time. like some continuous flow of fireworks. somewhere near the middle of the video.

other than that. i have some great awesome news which makes me love my cousin who looks like me! haha! guess what!

u know what is that?? no not just any jacket......

its a TROGDOR jacket!!! =D (for those who dunno who is Trogdor, please visit here.)

awesome man! thx soooo much Caleb!! i really appreciate it sooo much!! u ROCK!

but damn. now i gotta get u smth awesome too. haf to start planning......


BB today was, erm lets say.....

Fun! haha!

why? watch the video and enjoy. =)

oh just so u know, they were given 45 punishments. =)

good luck walking members. =D

haha! man i feel evil. haha!!

hmmm. am i overreactting? i feel like i am. but only a tiny bit. most of me thinks its totally rational for me to feel this way. maybe u dun want me to care? maybe i shud try living a life where i dun care. but yet i'm still scared incase you do may do it again. but i cant watch over you forever right? u dun even want me there. i can feel it so much.

and that was jus a question. there's no right or wrong answer. after everything i shud know that things wont get better but will get worse. its all downhill from here. so y do i keep hope? cuz i dun want what i think to happen?

aih. i dunno. u dun care so why shud i care right?

wrong. i always will care and no matter what i'll always disagree when you do smth wrong.

what the crap am i saying? it seems like its all jumbled up and doesn't make sense. does it make sense? i'm really goin crazy.

I can’t get out of bed today or get you off my mind
I just can’t seem to find a way to leave the love behind
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean

You kept me hanging from a string, why you make me cry?
I tried to give you everything, but you just gave it up
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean yeah

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there’s nothing I can do
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it, what am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

Now, love's a broken record that’s been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday, why we gots to play these games we play?
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean yeah

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back but you never do
I feel like such a fool

I can’t take it what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinkin’ of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

I am stuck on yoooou

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there’s nothing I can do,
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
I don’t know what to do
I’m stuck on you

***Stacie Orrico***

Currently Listening To: Stuck - Stacie Orrico