Friday, March 30, 2007

Spec Math

damn. that test just spoilt everyones mood. u can hear the geniuses complaining that they cudnt answer the question. what more me. haihh. emo.

got my outline and chem srt to do to. plus my long overdue campers assignment. gosh. and BTN is coming. damn it. I NEED TO NOT BE LAZY! haihh.

changed place in class too. now i'm sitting at the back. easier to sleep and hide face. thats kinda good i guess.

i realise that i plan to say a lot to ppl. i think it out carefully. know exactly what to tell them so my words have meaning and tend to be mean too at times. yet almost always i just cant say it cuz i'm too nice. the only person who ever hears what i really mean to say is ruth. heh. consider urself lucky in a way ruth. ;) i guess. haha.

i feel so crammed up with stuff. BB, Church, Worship, College, Assignments. and i dun need to put any other stuff on la. haihh.. i'm feeling damn emo now. must be because i caused others to be emo too. hmm.

oh yea. on a slightly better note. I managed to download the whole of the All of The Above album by Hillsong United. Din listen to it yet. except the first 2 songs. i onli liked the 1st one tho.

its obvious i dun have much to say thx to my emo mood. so bye.

Currently Listening To: Boys Like Girls - Hero/Heroine

Saturday, March 24, 2007


Riveria Suites, Kerala, India

Basically i don't have much to post up today cuz nth much happened. BB was usual. Cept i wasted myself so badly by running fast for no reason and using NOS. Sheesh. Note to self: Don't do it again. But i wud like to thank Jesh for buying me RedBull. I really feel kinda alive now thx to it. At least i think thats what is keeping me feeling alive. Worship pratice after BB was good too. I like when Luke worships leads. Cuz the songs he chooses r nice n meaningful. N he knows exactly what he wants. Like whether acoustic to play at this part, or no drums at this part, or jut voices. He knows exactly what he wants which makes practice much easier. Cool.

Oh yeah. Nik called all the way from UK today. He was travelling from Wales to London at that time to go for a Seminar. Y did he call? To keep in touch. Man, now thats what u call a fren la. Call from so far away jus to keep in touch. Must do that when i go overseas to la. N it was nice to talk to him too. Which is why i couldnt tell him i was driving and couldnt really talk at the moment. =P Haha.

Plus, ppl say i drive dangerously. N i realise i love the burst of speed the car brings. Like travelling at 140 to boot camp for no reason at all was just fun. yeah i know its bad. But it was fun. But i guess i shud change my attitude ind ruvung. I dun need another accident. Hmm.

K gotta go. Bye!

Currently Listening To: The Time Has Come - Hillsong United

Friday, March 23, 2007

London Bridge

Oh i forgot. You gotta watch this video too. Bowling For Soup's cover of the damn irritating song by Fergie (yes i dun like her songS). WATCH!

oh Yeah. Credit goes to Caleb for finding the song and telling me abt it. haha.

Currently Listening To: Blessed Be Your Name - Matt Redman

Error: Operator

Well there's been an accident (calm down)
There's been an accident, breath
In and out calm down (in and out calm down)
Breath in and out calm down (in and out calm...)

We can't go back
Can't go back
Can't go back, we can't...
We can't go back
Can't go back
Can't go back, we can't...

(Breath in and out calm down)

Well would you do it again, again
And count backwards from ten
(Look I don't make those mistakes no more)
Sometimes i swear I could see straight through you
Just concentrate, good try
But would you do it again, again

We can't go back
Can't go back
Can't go back, we can't...
We can't go back
Can't go back
Can't go back, we can't...

We can't go back
Can't go back
Can't go back, we can't...
We can't go back
Can't go back

(concentrate, calculate, compensate, contemplate)
(concentrate, calculate, don't be late)

I try (it's just...)
I try (it's just...)
I try (it's just...)
I try (it's just...)
I tried (it's just...)
I try (it's just...)
I tried (it's just...)
I try (it's just...)
We can't go back
Can't go back
Can't go back, we can't...
We can't go back
Can't go back
Can't go back, we can't...
We can't go back
Can't go back
Can't go back, we can't...
(Feels like anything anything, anything anything)
We can't go back

**************Taking Back Sunday***************

Love the song. Good stuff man. I'll try n put it as my song as soon as i can. Too bad the revamped version sucks.

Anyway, this week can be considered a depressing week. Lots of stuff went wrong. Esp with all the screwed up marks i'm getting. Haihh. Shud haf studied harder and do less mistakes. =(
Plus there was that case where i had to my whole Chem presentation in one night. Bad stuff. I dun wanna do such a last minute work again. Gotta keep that promise for my own good. Haihh.

I realise the best thing abt staying at the hostel is the interaction with ppl. I mean with my roomies we can just talk abt anything. Whether we haf a prob or wondering abt stuff or want to know stuff. I can say my knowledge on sutff has expanded greatly since moving to INTEC. Heh. One good thing abt the place eh. =P

K not much to say. Got some weird stuffs going on at college too. I hope its not what it seems/what i think it is. So i'll just leave with u with a bunch of emo quotes based on the theme of lost friendship. Great stuff. Some stuff can be vulgar. So viewer discretion is advised. ;) Not like u guys would listen anyway. =)

Life takes your dreams and turns them upside down

Friends talk about you when your not around

People make promises they just cant keep

I've come to realize... talk is cheap

You don't seem to notice, You don't seem to care

You promise me something, Then you aren't even there

You tell people my secrets, Tell me your lies...

Who wants a friend... That makes you want to cry?

You say we're best friends and all...

But how does that work when

You only talk to me when you have to

You only tell me things when I ask

You're only there for me when I call

Oh wait, that's right...

You're never there for me at all

Some people don't catch on, they rather just pretend.

While things are going smooth, they smile and call you 'friend'.

Funny how you never know who cares until it hurts, and when it's over,

Does it matter who blew off who first?

Yeah, being apathetic is a pathetic way to be...

but I don't care, what matters to you does not matter to me

I know that things between us are pretty much beyond repair right now.

And I wouldn't ever presume to try and make everything better

with a conversation, so that's not what this is...

but I just wanted to tell you, I wanted to say... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the pain it caused you. But mostly I'm sorry for my part in it.

But mostly I'm sorry because I miss our friendship.

And however far off it may be, I look forward to the day

that we can be friends again...

I'm sorry for the smiles we missed. the times that I blew it.
I have so much to tell you. I don't know where to start.

maybe I'll find a way. maybe you'll help me do it.

because friends like us shouldn't be apart

I want to say I'm sorry, I want you to know I care,

I want to say I'm blind for seeing something that wasn't there.

I should have been more trusting, and listened to my heart,

cause you're the only thing I need and it's tearing me apart.

So are you really listening? to a word that I've said
Or are you just sitting here to pretend that were still friends

To all the weed that I've smoked, yo this blunts for you

To all the people I've offended, yeah fuck you too

To all the friends I used to have, yo I miss my past

But the rest of you assholes can kiss my ass

I swear on my life that if I could take this knife out of my back, I would,

but between the loss of blood and the trust I had in you,

I don’t think it’d do any good.

People act all nice and then turn around and talk shit...

So as for trusting people...fuck it I quit.

Friendship: a building contract you sign with laughter and break with tears.

When your up, your friends know who you are.
When you're down, you know who your friends are...

Get out the picture, blow off the dust
Take off the frame, its starting to rust
Remember the times that we had together
What happened to being best friends forever?

I can't just pretend to forgive and forget
I'm going to make the day you met me...
the day you regret!

I'm staring at your photograph, remembering each moment

you made me laugh, I never thought it would end this way,

that I'd still be missing you to this very day...

if you're going to talk about me behind my back,

do me a favor, and while your back there, kiss my ass!

You can't laugh last If I stab you in the throat with...

the knife you left in my back

You start backstabbing me and going against your word,
thinking “Oh, she won’t know!” Well guess what bitch, I heard.

If I got a dime for every time you walked away

when I needed you, I could afford not to give a shit

How do I say good-bye to what we had,

the good times that made us laugh outweigh the bad.

I thought we’d get to see forever, but forever’s gone away.

It’s so hard to say good-bye to yesterday.

I was the one who said things changed;

you were the one who proved it.

I can't forgive you for leaving; Until I forgive myself for letting you leave

Too often we don't realize
What we got till it's gone
Too often we wait too long to say
I'm sorry I was wrong

Promised we’d be "friends"
Until the day we die
But it always ends with a
Forgotten Goodbye

If your having doubts about whether you can

actually trust a person...chances are you can't.

In dealing with backstabbers
There's one thing I’ve learned
Those bitches are only powerful
When your back is turned

[Best friend]
has ten letters
But then again, so does
[[Lying Bitch]]

All of my friends, they're not my friends.
Knife in the back, felt it again.
Used to fit in, now I don't belong.
What did I do? Was it so wrong?

Friends? Yeah I have lots of friends.

Those conniving, blood sucking wenches

who knife me between the shoulder blades repeatedly?

Yeah, I've got tons of them...

I'll never find another friend to take the place of you.

No one will ever touch my world exactly like you do.

No one who's quite so thoughtful, no one I cherish so.

No one will mean so much to me I just wanted you to know.

Broken friendships are like glass, its better to leave them broken

than to hurt yourself putting them back together

I miss you, and I want things back to how they used to be.

I need your friendship more then ever. I need you in my life again.

Tell me what it is that went wrong, and I'll do what it takes

to fix it in a second if it means having you by my side again...

With memories that linger and wont seem to go away...

Why cant I be happier? Today's a brand new day...

The hurt I'm feeling now wont disappear over night but

Someway... Somehow... Everything will turn out alright.

Sometimes you just look at someone and think…

should you love them for who they were,

hate them for who they are now, or...

feel sorry for them because they had to change

Forget the times you walked by, forget the times u made me cry,

forget the times you held my hand, forget the sweet things if I can,

I can no longer pretend, I've got to remember now, we’re not even friends...

I ran into someone the other day and we started to talk.

Somehow the conversation mentioned your name

And they asked me if I knew you. Looking away I though

of all the times we had together and then how,

without an explanation, you were gone. I looked to where they

were waiting for an answer and said "once ... or I thought I did..."

I'll never forget what you did to me, but I'll never let you know I remember

Why is it that after going through so much together, u act like its been so little

Even though it was temporary, our memories are forever.

You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise.

I thought I could trust you... You said you wouldn't lie

But then you went and ran off with my guy!

Sometimes I feel like the last cookie in the cookie jar- broken and alone.

Things change, people change, and it doesn't mean

you forget the past or try to cover it up.

It simply means that you move on and treasure the memories

I miss you when I'm sad. I miss you when I'm lonely.

But most of all, I miss you when I'm happy.

Friendship is not capable of ending

For if it ends it is only because it never existed

We've gone our own ways and I know it's for the best,

but sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have a friend like you again

They say all good things come to an end, I wish this didn't apply,

You were once someone, I took pride in calling my friend

The loss of a friend is like that of a limb,

Time may heal the anguish of the wound, but... the loss can't be repaired.

It's really scary how you can grow apart from some friends,

when it seems that just a few moments ago they were

the most important people in your life

You never leave someone behind… you take a part of them

with you and leave a part of yourself behind

So if I have to leave you, I want you to know that in the end,

it wasn’t because I stopped caring, it’s because you stopped being a friend

In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends

Nothing lasts forever, not the mountains nor the sea,

but the times we've had together will always be with me

Goodbyes make you think, they make you realize what you've had,

what you've lost, and what you've taken for granted

I've learned that good-byes will always hurt,

pictures never replace having been there,

memories good or bad will bring tears;

and words can never replace feelings

Even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that

I am forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me

K thats all for this time. Bye ppl. Got some overdue assignments to finish up.

Currently Listening To: A Beautiful Mistake - The Ataris

Sunday, March 18, 2007


U say you want to be there.

But u can't.

U say u'll try.

But u don't seem to at all.

U want me to do certain things for you.

But u can hardly do the same.

U want me to trust u.

How in the world am i supposed to?

I just wanted to be important in ur life. That's all. But i guess it was too hard. =/

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance


Damn. I got so much work to do yet i'm here. Boot camp stole too many days from me. But i guess i did have fun too. Oh wells.

I hope i have enuf time to finish everything. God please grant me more hours. Or teach me to waste time less. Haihh.

I feel like i'm losing grip on everything. Yet again. Haihh.

I need time! damn it. yet i'm wasting it here. shit la.

k Gtg. Bye!

Currently Listening To: Error Operator - Taking Back Sunday

Monday, March 12, 2007

That Tag Thingy (TTT)

Mysore Palace, India.


Name: Benjamin Jon

Birth Date: I dunno la

Current Status: Feeling high and crazy a bit. Must be the music.
Oh wait. Prob i'm supposed to put Single here. Joel u confused me.
Eye Colour: When i actually stare at my eyes long enough to remember i'll tell u.

Hair Colour: Hitam. Cud change to purple tho. See how. =P
Righty or Lefty: Right la. Cuz i'm always right. =P


My Heritage: India!

My Fears: People hating me.

My Weaknesses: Music!

My Perfect Pizza: I also dunno la. Pepperoni n Hawaian and Seafood are cool la.

My First Thoughts Waking Up: Can i spare more time sleeping? Most of the time i fall back asleep

My Bedtime: Extremely unstable. Cud be whenever.

My Most Missed Memory: Of when we were both great together.


Pepsi or Coke: err. both taste almost the same to me la. dun really care.

McDonald's or Burger King: McD! Burger King expensive!

Single or Group Dates: Mestilah single. ;)
didas or Nike: Adidas! But i onli haf an adidas shoe. thats all.

Tea or Nestea: Milo

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.

Cappuccino or Coffee: I said already, Milo.

Smoke: Not yet.

Curse: Heh. No one really knows. ;)
Take a Shower: Duh.

Have a Crush: I don't think right now.

Go To School: Actually yes. Cuz INTEC is like a former school rite? Sheesh...

Want To Get Married: Yea. I do believe so.

Believe In Yourself: Nope

Think Your A Health Freak: Heh. This wud definitely be a no rite Joel? Walking around outside the hostel barefoot wud put me in the NOT health freak.

Drank Alcohol: Erm. Once.
Gone To The Mall: Yea.

Been On Stage: Yup. To sing a Backstreet Boys song somemore with frens. Heh. The good old crazy days. =P

Eaten sushi : Of course. Love the wasabi man.

Dyed Your Hair: Like i said. Purple.

Played A Stripping Game: Nope.

Changed Who You Were To Fit In: I think i did. But i'm still trying to find out who i am la. So i dunno for sure.

To Be Married: Erm. Maybe before 35? I also dunno.


Best Eye Colour: Blue or green wud be cool. But i'm fine with anything la.

Best Hair Colour : I'm pretty sure i like black.

Short Hair or Long Hair: Panjaaaaaaaaaaang but not tooooo panjang la.

A Minute Ago: Doing the tag? What kinda question is that?

Hour Ago: Online typing out my earlier blog entry or was it chatting away or playing poker with KS. heh. bad memory la.
4.5 Hours Ago: Sleeping cuz it was so bloody hot.

1 Month Ago: i guess i wud be at the hostel doing dunno what la.

I love: my MUSIC!
I feel: kinda refreshed from sleeping jus not. not sleepy.

I hate: myself in a way.

I hide: K. if i told u this i wudnt be hiding it anymore right?

I miss: the good times.

I need: to get my hands on a laptop and command and conquer 3!

LAYER 12: TAG 4 PEOPLE Heh. this is gonna be hard since not many ppl i knowstill maintain. but thos who maintain i guess wud haf already done this tag. so if u've done thi jus ignore la k.
1. Grace

2. Wei Zhen

3. Dana?
4. Anyone else la. Ur choice. Heh.

kk. Bye. Again.

Currently Listening To: Last Train Home - Lostprophets

Sunday, March 11, 2007

No, I'm Not Dead.

Contrary to popular belief, this blog has not been updated not because I am dead. Well, actually there's no popular belief. I just wanted to say that. =P

But yeah, this blog hasnt been updated and there's a bunch of reasons for that. So lets go down the list one by one.

1. Moving House. No tme to online. Busy dumping all my stuff into boxes.
2. Busy. With i have no idea what... Oh wait! It was the PILES of work i had. AUSMAT! *curses*
3. No internet connection. Cuz of the moving house so no phone line that time. Jus got it last week.
4. I was too tired with all the BB stuffs n all.

I think thats all la. But i was quite sure that there was more. Wonder where they disappeared to. K. Anyway, tere's a lot of stuffs that happened too. Lets go down the other list now! =)

1. Assunta Rally
Well, this was pretty cool la. Cuz i was playing worship like with all the super cool ppl and also not to forget. EXTREMELY RANDOM ppl. Seriously, most of us nvr met each other before n we jus came together to create a worship team. Cool man. N the ppl I met r like super chun in what they do. Ppl like Alvin, Kel Vin, and Michael. Man, these ppl r inspiration to be a much better guitarist. Oh, and no one knew i was playing for the rally too. I jus loved looking at all the faces of ppl i knew staring at me and wondering, "Is that Ben? How did he end up there on stage?". Haha. But cool la the stunned faces. =P

2. Moving House
I miss my old room! It was soooo much bigger. Now i'm some "storeroom" (as called by lauren). Y storeroom? Cuz its at the back of the house and it has no fan at all. So i'm currently surviving with a stand fan. Lame. I know. But there's is a plus side. ( I stress on the a). Now there's a tv in my room so i can watch astro whenever i like! =) BUT! I'm restricted to 3 hours a day. Haihh... Can't have everything the way i want right? Well, overall the house is pretty okay. Plus it's only temporary so i shall not complain la. Why should I? I mean i Should be grateful i even haf a house to stay in right?

3. Tests!
Damn. there has been so many test la. I've had my math, spec math, chem n physics. All are counted and ALL i do believe i have done badly. The only one i haf gotten back is Chem which is 63%. Like what crap is that man?? That piece of nonsense marks is gonna be counted in my finals. I'm like seriously one of the dumbest non-bumi in Intec la. But this cud prob be due to my lack of studying. Haihh. Spec math test was... erm... lets say OK to not offend others. ;) The first question was answerable but the 2nd i cudnt do. I just hope my answerable answers are right. Math was nonsense, i forgot my stuff so i'm waiting for crap results. All the stupid nonsense mistakes la. CRAP! Physics I KNOW i'm dead cuz i din study cuz i busy settling problems with ppl. So basically with the tests i'm jus screwed!

4. Sunway Outing.
Right now i'm just too lazy to blog abt that. But I'll jus link uu guys to Joel n u all read from there la k. CLICK HERE!!
Oh yeah. i got home at 1 am that night and Mom was pretty mad. Sheesh. i need parents who don't have curfew time for their over 18 kids man.

Basically thats all, a lot of stuff i missed out cuz its not that important so i jus left it out so that i don't have to type out so much. Heh.

The supposed "bitch" gave the non bitchy answer when asked, while the "not-supposed-to-be-a-bitch" girl gave the bitch answer. Wth.....

Oh yeah!! Congrats to all the SPM ppl! Most of u guys did awesome!!! Seriously! Powerlah u
guys. Smart geniuses. Haha! So u guys gonna come join me in INTEC? =P

Haha. K, i still got a bunch of emo lyrics i could post up. But not now la. Maybe in a different post. N I still got a tag to do from Joel and Grace. So thats two more posts. HAih!

C&C3 is coming out soon!!!! Gosh i've been waiting for this game since last year la. Can't wait! I need to get my lappie!!!

Scrin (New Faction). Cool man.

GDI. New Logo.

Nod. New Logo. Gonna be My New "Tattoo"

K gotta go. Recrutis Camp coming up and LOADS more homework which i haf procrastinated till now. Sheesh!

And Clarence. Stop trying to pair me up with all the girls in INTEC k. =.="


Currently Listening To: Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance