Monday, May 05, 2008

Pagi Pagi Sudah Depressed

cuz there i was. eating alone at some restaurant. apparently is was some football (soccer) restaurant. the waiters were dressed as referees.

then suddenly out of nowhere, she saw me sitting alone and she came and joined me. we ended up talking about everything. it was just awesome. she was fun, cool, sexy, naughty, bold, daring, confident... somehow she just seemed perfect. in all ways.

we talked abt football too. it seemed like she knew nth abt it. so i explained it to her. how the game goes and who is who. i found it weird that she nvr heard of Man U b4. but it didn't matter. it just meant there was more to explain. and i was glad to talk to her abt it too. it's like the more i talked the closer i got to knowing her.

i mean it sure seemed weird that she knew nth abt football and yet was in a football restaurant. then i figured, she prob did know, she just wanted to hear me talk abt it. that itself was awesome in it's own way.

we even talked about ice cream. she was telling me abt the different grades of the ice cream and stuff. found it interesting in it's own way. and i guess this was my time to enjoy her talking.

then we left. we walked out and were heading to our cars. i asked her where was she from, cuz she didn't look like she was from around here. she said Hanukai. i thought of Hawaii at first. but it didn't make sense. so somehow i just accepted it.

suddenly i reach the car park area and i see my family there. in the car. with someone else behind too. i was shocked. how did they know i was here? and oh no. they saw me with her! i'm sure in for questioning now.

so now my fam's car were right in front of us. and i moved to the other side of the car and was trying to explain things and ask what in the world they were doin here. my mom on the other side was asking her a bunch of questions. apparently she didn't like the answers.

the next thing u know i was forced into the car and they drove off. i was super upset. i didn't get to say bye to her! i didn't get her number yet! i was supposed to have got it! i was pretty much mourning the rest of the journey. i kept looking out through the back window. hoping that she would be able to catch up.

the whole time i didn't feel anything for anything around me. i didn't care for the tears being shed next to me, i didn't care for the anger my parents had for me for her. nothing mattered anymore. all i wanted was her. and as long as i didn't have her, nothing mattered. i felt empty and shattered. the one awesome perfect person i find, and now i don't have her. she just seemed to have slipped out of my fingers. how could this have happened?

but then the car stopped. apparently there was an accident in front of us. i got out of the car. i looked back hoping to see her still. i didn't give up hope just yet. and i'm so glad i didn't. cuz she came. in her sleek black car. she got out, and we ran and embraced each other. it was the best hug of my life. it felt like the happiest day in my life. it's like i haven't seen her for years. i only knew her for a few hours, yet it felt like she was the best thing that happened to me. i was in love. it was obvious. and i didn't care if noone liked her. she's who i want. that's all that mattered.

this time i wudn't screw up. i asked her for her number. she gave me a sort of letter. there were all kinds of stuff in it. stuff that made me smile for the words she said. made me feel like i was someone. like i was wanted. that she wanted me. it felt great! reading what she had to say made me feel like i was on top of the world. like nothing could tear me down.

she even mentioned ppl i knew in the letter. but how did she know them? another weird thing. but it didn't matter once again. i had her again. but the next thing i know, i see my sis snapping rudely to my dad. and my dad didn't even respond much.

wait that's not possible. he shud have responded. what's goin on? the only place this would ever happen is..... if this was a dream......

right at that point, i woke up.


no no no no no no. no! NO! this can't be happening!

argh! it was all a DREAM!

the time was prob 6 smth. almost 7. i jus lay there. EXTREMELY disappointed. how could it be a dream? she was PERFECT! =( why is it a dream? it's not fair! how could she not exist? she has to exist. she just has to. everything feels better when she's around. no no no! this can't have happened! =(

i jus lay in bed til 7.30. still disappointed. disappointed the whole time i was awake. no point trying to sleep too. to disappointed to do so. cuz the gr8est thing that happened to me, wasn't real. but it felt so real. so so real. this can't be happening.

argh! >=(

damn babi stress la. i still hate that it's a dream. hate hate hate it so much!

haih. life is cruel.

somehow i just keep having dreams of awesome girls la. ppl i can be happy with. why can't they be real? ish.


Currently Listening To: Summer Girls - LFO


Sanjit said...

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.

Seems kinda appropriate right now.

Chill la Ben, the right one may be just around the corner. Might be a Nzac chick summore haha =P

DaMan said...

man thats depressing..but thats life..dreams are like our perfect world that we want to escape to..

have faith! ur time will come!