John Joins The Coolest Groups

seriously. this is like remedy la. just go to his page and laugh. damn cool la.

Currently Watching: Lost - Season 6 Episode 10

The End Of It All

thx Manjuli for the pic.

says everything i need to say

Currently Listening To: Consuming Fire - Hillsong United

My Cousin Said It Right

"No, not all Indians are "black" and yes, there are Indians that are " fair".And so what if we're EITHER? At least we've come to terms with it and have learnt to embrace what God has given us. What's with your obsession about our skin colour anyway?"

finally i know that i'm not over reacting. or being over sensitive and there are ppl who feel the same way as me.



and it's funny to note the ppl who make the comments abt the skin colour as well.

Currently Listening To: Always - Hillsong United

So As For Now, It's Been Decided

so ya. i'm moving. this place is kinda too public for personal stuff. yet at the same time, i have non-private stuff i wanna say.

SO.

this blog: thoughts, stuff i find interesting, music i like

other blog: personal stuff, daily life, stuff that i don't feel like the whole world knowing


so ya.


amazing ah. i just figure out how to do that one thing on FB, and sudd i like damn happy, no worries at all. hahaha.


n i've been putting this off for too long. i shouldn't keep any of them hanging. time to make a move.

now how do i do that?

WHOOOOOOOO. k this is like the last personal post here. Hopefully. haha.

Currently Listening To: Second Chance - Hillsong United

The Hug

i found out, it was never the girl that made the hug special.

esp under current circumstances, it's even more meaningless now.

but that night, when i got the same hug from another, it still felt as good.

there was no diff as to who i was hugging. the hug felt just as same.


well how bout that? i nvr thought it was that not special. til i finally received it from someone else.



hugs make u feel good. it cheers you up.

there seriously needs more hugs going around.

Currently Listening To: Take All Of Me - Hillsong United

WHAT??!

the funny thing is i don't feel so much.

but i'm still super pissed off.

and it's like i want to burst out swearing.

but the experiment is over. so no more swearing.

BUT YA.


justice justice. where art thou?

Currently Listening To: Error: Operator - Taking Back Sunday

Ok. I Think I'm Like Retarded Or Something

like that day. despite everything she's done. i still sempat lagi defend her. for the wrong things she did. like trying to justify why she did the things. even though it's totally unjustifiable.

what's wrong with me?

i mean the first i tried to do when i found out is not be angry.

why should i even try? i have a right to be angry.


then when i came back. what do i do? still find a way to get someone to talk to her to get thru her head. and that time cuz i was truly disappointed and still wanted her to change.

honestly, how is it possible to care for someone who doesn't care? and that also care so much.

why ah why?

even my last dying wish was so that she'd change. and i realise the last thing in the world isn't even smth for me!

what am i doing? seriously, how can i even think like that?


and even in my anger, and the way i wanted to get revenge, in some way, i realise i may have meant well too.


shit. =/


there's something really wrong with me. i care too much. i didn't even know that such a thing is possible.




what's horrifying is,


i still know i'm capable of forgiving.


=/




shit.


Currently Listening To: Mama - My Chemical Romance

I Miss This

doing this song. and the way we did it. was def a highlight of my life i think.

i mean the song itself. A+

the "freeze" in between. A+

the fact that we're opening for Juwita Suwito. pretty freaking awesome. LOL.


i like performing. and playing guitar. i just need to learn up well so i'm good at it.

and this is a random thought. but the weirdest thing i've ever done is PRETEND to play on stage. reason why? cuz they didn't want musicians going up and down. so they made everyone stay. and i don't even play any part in that song.

but i pulled it off! which means i'm a good actor. k if engineering fails. ACTING! :D

hahahaha


k that's it. :)

Currently Listening To: My Immortal - Evanesence

Although It Was Mean

but i still like the fact that my friends have got my back.

of course it would have been better if i knew what they were doing with my phone.

but yeah. at least things that should have been said were said.



and in other news, slowly removing every single thing.

the emails and the texts are all gone.

now just the physical stuff.


i need to get a new wallet.

i'm glad i nvr wore that shirt yet too.

You're making a choice to live like this

Light Up The Sky
Yellowcard

Currently Listening To: Light Up The Sky - Yellowcard

Screwed Up

the amount i'm disappointed with myself right now is pretty immeasurable.



i can't believe what i did. or at least what i let happen.


it was one of the things i was nvr supposed to do in my whole life.



the worst part is, i don't feel as bad as i should have. =/




and the funny thing is, i now see how much easier it is for people to accept me once they know i'm not so holy and i'm a screw up too.


funny how that works right?

screw up and the world loves you.


no wonder it's pretty impossible to stay good.



haih.


seems like when everything goes bad. it all happens at the same time.


but yet, things have still been good and fun.


hmmmmmmmm

my life is a mess. haih

Currently Listening To: History Maker - Delirious?

Life Lessons From SG

Currently Listening To: New Again - Taking Back Sunday

I'm Out

for my own good.

cuz i need to find a place where i feel worth it.

Currently Listening To: In Pieces - Mae

Learning To Be Quiet

so many questions

so many empty spaces

so many thoughts

so many other factors



BUT, you don't wanna hear.

so nvm. i shall learn to shut up.

keep it in.

postpone postpone.

but we'll nvr find the right time.

so guess we'll just postpone til it's too late.


time to think about other factors i guess.

i know that's what ur main plan is anyway.

not offended. it's just... you. to do so.





doesn't it suck, when you can do everything right, but just nvr get what you deserve or want? and everyone else just seems to get what they want. everytime. haih.


i think i should give up.

i don't wanna tire myself out hoping for something i deserve, but i will never get.

Currently Listening To: Is It You - Cassie

Haven't Met You Yet

I'm not surprised,
Not everything lasts,
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in,
I talk myself out,
I get all worked up,
Then I let myself down,

I tried so very hard not to lose it;
I came up with a million excuses,
I thought I thought of every possibility,

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get~ mmm.......
I just haven't met you yet.

Mmmmm ....

I might have to wait,
I’ll never give up,
I guess it's half timin', and the other half's luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it's right,
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazin',
And baby your love is gonna change me,
And now I can see every possibility, mmmmmm....

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get, mmmm....
I just haven't met you yet.

They say all’s fair
in love and war
But I won’t need to fight it,
we'll get it right an',
we'll be united

Instrumental

and I know that we can be so amazin',
And bein' in your life is gonna change me,
And now I can see every single possibility, mmmmmm

And someday I know it'll all turn out,
And I'll work to work it out,
Promise you kid I’ll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get.

Oh, you know it'll all turn out,
and you'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get, yeah
I just haven't met you yet.

I just haven't met you yet,
Oh, promise you kid,
To give so much more than I get.

I said love love love love love love love.....
I just haven't met you yet
Love love love .....
So doy day ay ay ay, ay ay yeah
I just haven't met you yet!

Michael Buble

Currently Listening To: Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble

Nobody Realises What They're Doing Because They Don't Take The Time To Put Themselves In Others' Shoes

I read this.

And what i picked up from it, is how "asian" (or basically ppl who speak chinese in this context) ppl get quite irritated if ppl think they speak like that.

what goes through my head, or what my imagination cooks up is a scene like this;


a non-asian guy goes listen to me speak chinese "Ching Chang Chong"

then asian kid who hears this gets all irritated and insulted.


well that's what i see la when i read this group's name.

do you see that as well?


if ure "asian", would you feel irritated and insulted?





now. maybe i should create a group "Hi, I'm Indian, and NO, i don't speak like this, "*insert your interpretation of any Indian language which is not true here*".


if u've been following this whole post, you'll catch my drift about what i'm really intending to get through.

and to put it simply for those who find this complicated, if you don't like stuff being done to you, don't do the same shit to others.

and honestly. laughing at the imitation just don't, definitely DOES NOT help the situation at all. it prob just shows how even more rude you are.

it's funny how easliy we'll call a drunk guy, who's just shouting out at random ppl on the road while diring past, racist just because he also shouts something at you as he goes past.

nobody takes into account what he actually said or whether it was even a racist comment. it's just easier and "the norm" to say he's racist, even though he's just being drunk.


we'll easily call him racist but we don't notice the racist things we do to others around us. even when they're actually our friends and not random strangers.




k i'm done. just something for you to think about. took almost 2 hours to try and figure out the right words to put here. i'm off to bed now.



think about it.

and do something about it.

Currently Listening To: Uniform - Bloc Party

Other Than The Work I Should Be Doing

my fridays since i've been back has really been awesome.

i'd say more.

but i got nth to say.

and it's 5 smth in the morning.

and out again tmrw.


interesting fact of the evening: maybe there actually is smth. explains the behaviour. maybe i'm just flattering myself. hmmm.

SLEEP

Currently Watching: Scary Movie 2

There's Only So Much I Can Try

so if you don't do your part, there's nothing i can do.

n the limit is made worse by the fact that both you and i agree that i'm trying for something that i don't deserve. we know i deserve better.

but i place myself here. doing something that i believe 90% of ppl wouldn't agree with me doing so. and would deem it not worth it.

so i'm trying, for something not worth it, when it shouldn't be me who should be trying?

the worst part is, i'm not even getting what i deserve and i'm trying.




i guess, i'm actually finally reaching my limit as to how much i can try. to the point where, i feel like i just don't feel anything anymore. like it has become so insignificant (when it should hurt bad) that i can still live everyday WITH it in my mind, and it just doesn't matter.

i'm either at that apathetic point, or i'm really close to it.

there's only so much i can try til i realise it's not worth fighting for.

i wonder if there's a phrase or quote for this feeling.


i'm not dropping and leaving and disappearing into nothingness. i'm just dropping the idea, which as the days go by, seems to grow even more impossible.






cuz if you don't try, then i'm gone.

cuz everyday seems to lead me to believe that friends is actually good.

i'm not pissed off. i cant force myself to be good enough. or to mean something. i am in a way doing what you wanted, but when even that is not good enough, then there's pretty much nothing i can do right?

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know

Everything You Want
Vertical Horizon

sry for the emo post. it's late. i'm tired. hence, emo. :)

goodnight

Currently Listening To: The Only Exception - Paramore

Feeling Sorry

We still live the same town, well don't we?
But I don't see you around anymore.
I go to all the same places
Not even a trace of you.
Your days are numbered at 24.

And I'm getting bored waiting 'round for you.
We're not getting any younger.
And I won't look back 'cause there's no use.
Its time to move forward.

I feel no sympathy.
You live inside a cave
You barely get by, the rest of us are trying
There's no need to apologize
I've got no time for feeling sorry.

Well I try not to think of what might happen.
When your reality it finally cuts through.
Well as for me I got out and I'm on the road.
The worst part is that this, this could be you.

You know it too.
You can't run from your shame.
You're not getting any younger.
Time keeps passing by
but you wave it away.
Its time to roll over.

I feel no sympathy.
You live inside a cave.
You barely get by, the rest of us are trying.
There's no need to apologize
I've got no time for feeling sorry.

All the best lies
they are told with fingers tied.
So cross them tight.
Won't you promise me tonight.
If its the last thing you do
you'll get out.

I feel no sympathy.
You live inside a cave.
You barely get by, the rest of us are trying.
There's no need to apologize
I've got no time, I've got no time.

I feel no sympathy.
You live inside a cave.
You barely get by, the rest of us are trying.
There's no need to apologize
I've got no time.
I've got no time for feeling sorry.

I've got no time for feeling sorry.

Paramore

i'm still in Paramore mood. :)

Currently Listening To: Feeling Sorry - Paramore

Miracle

I'm not going
Cause I've been waiting for a miracle
And I'm not leaving
I won't let you
Let you give up on a miracle
Cause it might save you

Paramore

pretty cool lyrics. :)

and no. you can't just pick the ones you want to hear. you take it all. :)

don't pretend you didn't see/hear/read what i said. don't ignore it. do something about it. :)




the more i think about it. the more i realise what's happening. the more i'm setting my life str8. the more i see what i should be doing and what shouldn't hope for.

the more i realise how to be happy i guess.


i have to not let this matter. and it'll work out gr8. :)

i'm in a pretty okay mood. cept reading msn convo history and all the things said. esp the things that are a huge deal treated like none. haih.

but be happy! :)

FRIDAY.


if only i could go earlier. haih.


OFF NOW. :)

Currently Listening To: Feeling Sorry - Paramore

Story Tellers

u know what's interesting?

people just love telling stories about other people. they just can't seem to help it.

it's like if there's smth abt someone, a "story" if you might like, someone will def talk abt it. and spread the "Story".

it's funny. cuz like, it's like usually the same person who's always the one spreading the story. and what's even funnier is that some of these ppl, don't like ppl talking abt them/the stuff they do/things abt them.


i mean, it's guess it's fine if it's one off things. but some ppl just love talking abt others.

and it's getting to a point it's annoying.

so seriously. for me, stop talking abt me. anything. i love my anonymity. n i'd like to keep it that way. the things i do, i can tell for myself. don't need you to be my messenger. don't recall hiring you too.


thanks. :)

Currently Listening To: Check Yes Juliet - We The Kings

For Once, Monday Was An AWESOME Day

yeapsssssssssssssssssssss

i got the tickets today! :D hahaha



woooohoooo happpyyyyy :D


and i put up my CD wall in my new room. awesomeeeee :D



now just need to study a bit and the day will be all good. :D

Currently Listening To: Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore