Ok. I Think I'm Like Retarded Or Something

like that day. despite everything she's done. i still sempat lagi defend her. for the wrong things she did. like trying to justify why she did the things. even though it's totally unjustifiable.

what's wrong with me?

i mean the first i tried to do when i found out is not be angry.

why should i even try? i have a right to be angry.


then when i came back. what do i do? still find a way to get someone to talk to her to get thru her head. and that time cuz i was truly disappointed and still wanted her to change.

honestly, how is it possible to care for someone who doesn't care? and that also care so much.

why ah why?

even my last dying wish was so that she'd change. and i realise the last thing in the world isn't even smth for me!

what am i doing? seriously, how can i even think like that?


and even in my anger, and the way i wanted to get revenge, in some way, i realise i may have meant well too.


shit. =/


there's something really wrong with me. i care too much. i didn't even know that such a thing is possible.




what's horrifying is,


i still know i'm capable of forgiving.


=/




shit.


Currently Listening To: Mama - My Chemical Romance