There's Only So Much I Can Try

so if you don't do your part, there's nothing i can do.

n the limit is made worse by the fact that both you and i agree that i'm trying for something that i don't deserve. we know i deserve better.

but i place myself here. doing something that i believe 90% of ppl wouldn't agree with me doing so. and would deem it not worth it.

so i'm trying, for something not worth it, when it shouldn't be me who should be trying?

the worst part is, i'm not even getting what i deserve and i'm trying.




i guess, i'm actually finally reaching my limit as to how much i can try. to the point where, i feel like i just don't feel anything anymore. like it has become so insignificant (when it should hurt bad) that i can still live everyday WITH it in my mind, and it just doesn't matter.

i'm either at that apathetic point, or i'm really close to it.

there's only so much i can try til i realise it's not worth fighting for.

i wonder if there's a phrase or quote for this feeling.


i'm not dropping and leaving and disappearing into nothingness. i'm just dropping the idea, which as the days go by, seems to grow even more impossible.






cuz if you don't try, then i'm gone.

cuz everyday seems to lead me to believe that friends is actually good.

i'm not pissed off. i cant force myself to be good enough. or to mean something. i am in a way doing what you wanted, but when even that is not good enough, then there's pretty much nothing i can do right?

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know

Everything You Want
Vertical Horizon

sry for the emo post. it's late. i'm tired. hence, emo. :)

goodnight

Currently Listening To: The Only Exception - Paramore