It's That Feeling Joel.....

yes. the one where you come back to blog abt stuff you think abt but all the thought are lost. hopefully i'll remember by the end of this post.

nth much happened this week jus had a chem test which i fear went horribly horrible. but i felt happy that day. i guess cuz my Trogdor jacket kept me warm in the cold hall and i managed to get ppl annoyed by my HUMBLE t-shirt. haha! The math quiz i wud say is OK only since i got 88. finally an A after so long. i really need to buck up. there's another Math test coming up. i think i really want to put my back into it. want to. whether i do end up doing it is a different thing. haih.

i jus realise that being driven around by a girl can feel really weird. i mean, normally its the guy who drives the girl around, so when the girl drives the guy around it feels weird. esp when the girl is driving a manual and i'm like taking the easy way out by driving a auto. damn i so want a manual car right now. no la. this time i'm not saying anything bad abt lady drivers. cuz i actually cant complain. but just this time k! haha! ;P


Poji saw me listenig to my music that day and commented,

"Eh, you listen to your music everyday and the same playlist somemore, don't you ever get bored of it?"

and i realised one thing. i never get bored of things that i like. i can listen to the same songs again and again and not get bored. heck, sometimes i even listen to the song 20 times in a row. same goes for my "breakfast" and also my snacks. i jus eat the same Appolo Chocolate Layer Cake like almost everyday.

I've at least eaten 6 dozen since July

like i can play the same songs over and over again without getting bored (this maybe because i have a limited knowledge of playing other songs but thats besides the point.) so no, if i like something i won't get bored of it. i dunno why, i guess i'm jus made like that. guess it explains some other stuff too..........


it was Brian's bday also this week. man they cake they got him....

awesome.no, seriously. its like so thick and full of goodness. maybe cuz its from Secret Recipie eh? haha!

yest night was Cultural Night which went really well. must go and congratulate Erica for a job well done in heading the whole thing. basically it was a night hosted by the students and lecturers of the classes taking Malay Studies on culture and stuff. of course they also got help from some of the others from the other classes but mostly it was all them.

Fish, CK, Ang

Future Engineers + Brian (I had to bend down cuz i was too tall. =) haha! )

KS looking dashing and Organiser Lady, Erica looking stunning.

Clarence with the "Men In Black" look

the agenda was basically plays and silat performances and also lion dances and some other stuff. The plays were really good. i enjoyed watching all three of them. i tot the first one was the funniest but i only understood the third one the best.

Lion Dance

the first one was Empangan, a sort of musical, which talked abt some guy who came back from US or smth like that and abt some dam too. Vincent happened to be acting in the play too. as some crazy guy who was burning the lead characters car. he really was laughing like a psycho maniac. he could have really fooled anyone he was crazy. good acting too in the fight scene. they were like throwing each other around. must have hurt. later in the play they had a sort of trial going on (cuz of the burnt car) which they sang to in Malay to the tune of Green Day's Holiday. really good. like Poji said "Smart giler". the funny parts were when Mr. Kesh suddenly joined in the dancing troupe near the end and also how the photos (which were projected on the screen so everyone could see) of proof that Vincent burnt the lead character's car was of Vincent pouring "kerosene" on Mr. Kesh's car. nicely done. =)

Trial time

The other play was abt Wi and William. two frens where William is adored by the Wi's parents
which makes Wi jealous. Wi also ends up thinking that William is after his land to make a hotel to benefit William. but later finds out that the benefits from the hotel will be going to Wi because the land the hotel was built on was Wi's. it took a sad twist at the end where the girl Wi was after ended up with William. and he din want to do anything cuz he wanted her to be happy and also because he felt he owed William. haih. depressing end.

plans to leave suddenly his then there was also the third play which i couldn't remember the name. It was abt a guy named Azahari who leaves his girl in Malaysia to go to London to reclaim back his ancestor's property from some company. BUT the guy who owns the company, Mr. Swanson, doesn't want to give it back and says he nvr kept and property of Azahari's ancestors. so then he leaves but falls in love with Serena, Swanson's daugther. so they flirt around here and there and Swanson guy catches them one day and his bodyguards beats Azahari up cuz Swanson disapproves of their relationship. plus he forces Serena to say she doesn't love Azahari and the bloody idiot takes what she says seriously. so feeling really fed up now, Azahari goes to some French detective F.C (Francois Chevorlet or smth like that). so with the help of the detective he manages to expose Swanson as the liar and Swanson is arrested. and as Azahari is leaving too Serena comes in to see that her father has been arrested and when she tries to talk to Azahari, he just ignores her and walks off. so she lost her father and her love too. damn emo man. anyway, when AzahariMsian girl (Nadirah) shows up. so as they were abt to go spend time with each other he suddenly collapses and he ends up in the hospital. and as expected while Nadirah is temaning Azahari at the hospital, Serena finds out abt Azahari and comes to see him too. yea, conflict between the two girls. so then Serena forces him to choose between her and Nadirah. and i din catche what happened then but i guess Azahari choose Nadirah as the last scene showed both of the happily playing around while Serena was watching from a distance with her heart breaking with every move they made. cuz the one she loves is in the arms of another. then it ended. wah. damn emo man the story. pity Serena man. cuz of some curang guy she suffers. haih. but good acting from the actors. Ka Yi (Serena) did a really good job imitating the British accent. and Bob suited his role well too. haha.

after that was the prize giving ceremony for best drama and best actor and other stuff too. then came the special event. two German lecturers who met in Intec and got married decided to sort of have a wedding ceremony sort of thing in Intec as a celebration that they met at Intec. i tot they really good nice in the traditional Malay wedding costumes.

then basically it was jus that wedding stuff which got quite boring and all. then it was over! i wanted to stay on longer and chat around a bit but i had to leave cuz Jim wanted to go back and i was following him. haih. well cant complain since i'm gettin a free ride back.

nth much else happened. jus a normal week i wud say. oh i learnt that me and knives don't go so well. =)


k relax. it was an accident. but since i was bleeding i tot y not pose a bit. haha! n no Lauren and Ewern i did not cut myself. it was an ACCIDENT! so dun try and kill me all. haha

**************

It's been 9 months already and you're still thinking of her.

i can't help it la. haih. i'm so lost and confused. i really need to say a lot of stuff. i can't live with your lifestyle. i just can't. i will never see it as ok or fine or anything like how you see it. i just cannot do it. and that incident still bugs me. cuz i feel i know nothing abt. i mean things like these don't jus happen overnight. it builds up. yet i knew nothing. ure really good at hiding stuff i must say.

u know it din even last a day. i felt good for that short while. it reall really did. like everything was back like how it should be. like everything mattered to you again.

then it disappeared. and only one thing changed. still trying to figure how exactly did it make you change.

but I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

Vertical Horzion

i'd quote the verses before this, but i wud just have to say it would be arrogant for me to do so.

**************

oh btw ppl, i haf no credit at all and i'm not supposed to be online now anyway so yea.

bye.

Currently Listening To: Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon

Drinking?

heh. apparently Merdeka time is like the drinking time for me. dun ask y but its jus like that. nice timing for drinks to sudd appear b4 me? haha.




but no no. i haven't got drunk yet. not ever k. for one thing, i dun think it's "cool" to drink to get drunk. and if you do get drunk it just shows you're weak to me. it also shows that you don't know your limits. and when you don't know your limits, you get drunk. and when you get drunk you lose control. and Jo told me last night that it's stated in the Bible that we shouldn't lose control of ourselves. so yea. i won't ever try to get drunk. cuz it's wrong. we shudn't lose control of ourselves.

plus Indians don't get drunk (Lim Wei Jun 2007). =P haha!


anyway, later that night there were fireworks too. unexpected ones which made it a night to remember even more. haha! they looked darn cool.

i've also got a video of the fireworks. it shows one part where the fireworks jus went on for quite some time. like some continuous flow of fireworks. somewhere near the middle of the video.



other than that. i have some great awesome news which makes me love my cousin who looks like me! haha! guess what!

u know what is that?? no not just any jacket......


its a TROGDOR jacket!!! =D (for those who dunno who is Trogdor, please visit here.)

awesome man! thx soooo much Caleb!! i really appreciate it sooo much!! u ROCK!

but damn. now i gotta get u smth awesome too. haf to start planning......

**********

BB today was, erm lets say.....

Fun! haha!

why? watch the video and enjoy. =)



oh just so u know, they were given 45 punishments. =)

good luck walking members. =D

haha! man i feel evil. haha!!
*************

hmmm. am i overreactting? i feel like i am. but only a tiny bit. most of me thinks its totally rational for me to feel this way. maybe u dun want me to care? maybe i shud try living a life where i dun care. but yet i'm still scared incase you do may do it again. but i cant watch over you forever right? u dun even want me there. i can feel it so much.

and that was jus a question. there's no right or wrong answer. after everything i shud know that things wont get better but will get worse. its all downhill from here. so y do i keep hope? cuz i dun want what i think to happen?

aih. i dunno. u dun care so why shud i care right?

wrong. i always will care and no matter what i'll always disagree when you do smth wrong.

what the crap am i saying? it seems like its all jumbled up and doesn't make sense. does it make sense? i'm really goin crazy.

********Stuck********

I can’t get out of bed today or get you off my mind
I just can’t seem to find a way to leave the love behind
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean

You kept me hanging from a string, why you make me cry?
I tried to give you everything, but you just gave it up
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean yeah

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there’s nothing I can do
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it, what am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

Now, love's a broken record that’s been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday, why we gots to play these games we play?
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean yeah

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back but you never do
I feel like such a fool

I can’t take it what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinkin’ of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

I am stuck on yoooou
yoooooou
oooooooooo

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there’s nothing I can do,
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
I don’t know what to do
I’m stuck on you

***Stacie Orrico***

Currently Listening To: Stuck - Stacie Orrico

Why Don't You

Why don't you come right out and say it
Even if the words are probably going to hurt
I'd rather have the truth than something insincere
Why don't you come right out and say
Come right out and say it
What it is you're thinking though I'm thinking it's not what I want to hear

Relient K

i love songs. every song has smth to say. n they say it so well.

n i still can't believe how long ure making me wait. yea. i can guess what happened. it was expected right?

i hate being right abt the things you do.

Currently Listening To: Come Right Out And Say It - Relient K

Merdeka!

well here i am on Merdeka day (yes its currently 12.00 am whie i'm typing this) blogging. cuz i cant be out cuz parents say i'm out too much n i dun spend enuf time with family. yet my family is sleeping now. wut the. supposed to go out at 2am. but i tought abt it n decided i wont. well, its not that bad since i got Dana to teman me n i'm temaning her also. yay! thx Dana! =D

this week was kinda interesting. i found out quite a few stuff. photos will do the talking again. :) sry la i'm a lazy boy. =P this week i realised.....

...nails can actually be burnt.

...i've got famous frens. =P

...there's a Decepticon in Intec

....or just a very elaboratly decorated scooter. =P

...when ure a star like Reshmonu, u haf to start practicing for ur night event at 2pm.

...the Persona still looks like a Gen.2 to me no matter what.

...some ppl need their afternoon sleep.

...someone actually has a full Devastator set! now thats a collector!

...if u wanna laugh a lot in a horror show, go watch Black Sheep.

... that you get free bowling in Cinelesuire if u watch a movie. =D

...my intimidated feeling when the first two plays by Jin n Joel were spares was for nothing. i won in the end. haha!

...karaoke-ing can be quite ok.

...i guess its based on who goes la. haha.

...these two ladies have really great voices. =D

...apparently Indian guys cant get drunk. well i dun feel anything now n i do believe i'm 2nd in place who drank the most. but its jus beer la like Jin said. haha. there's better stuff also. ;)

...this drink is nice. but not when u lose your glass. =(

...that Joel can really sleep. =P

...that that is not my lifestyle. i dun think i wanna haf anything to do with it. which means that includes you too.

heh. thats all for now. hope u enjoyed the pics. =P

oh yeah. Miss Lauren Chia also came to the Curve coincidently. haha! ;P stop stalking me lah. haha! just kidding. this reminds me. i need to buy Lauren and Wei Zhen's present still. dang. my money is seriously flying away. u guys better appreciate the present k! i hate parting with my money!!

*******************
this part is for Dana who kept me company on Merdeka night/early morning. haha! her name is goin to be mentioned hundred times.

Dana. (x 100)

now u all read it aloud 100 times so she feels happy k. haha!

*******************

honestly i cant believe you. any other person wud haf the decency to inform. which is y i dun wanna care anymore. n i'm putting no hope in wha u promised u wud do tonight. i know u'll break it. its jus so you. n yeah i guess i want to be proved wrong. here's your chance.

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you 
This means nothing 
Nothing at all

Simple Plan

Currently Listnening To: Perfect World - Simple Plan

Wasted

It jus seems like it was all for nth. everything I said jus wasted. like it din mean anything. like it wud nvr mean anything.

it makes me wonder. of all the things I’ve said, all the advice I’ve given, what have u listened to? am I really giving u bad advice? that u feel u haf no reason to follow?

n the way u say u everything u do depends on me. how can that be? all the things u’ve done or are doin now I’ve nvr done or I’m not doing. so how is it u say u rely on me? I’m starting to see it as just an excuse.

the way u brush what u did off like that seems to tell me like u care abt it. like “oh it happened. too bad. jus forget abt it.” like I know u wud do it again. n it really sux to know that. well, even if u do forget, I’ll still remember.

or will I remember cuz I dunno anything abt it? how it happened? did u plan for it? haih. I wish I knew.

seems like I’m on the outside now. like I’m not supposed to be trusted. n eventho I shud know better and I act as if I dun. I’m acting as if nth happened too. so maybe it’s my fault.
I’m still wondering y u acted that way. wudnt it be easier to tell me that u din wanna continue cuz u weren’t ready for the answer?

I wish I cud make u feel like how I do. n u know, all the things that you do, you wudn like it if I was doin the same things. yet u still do it.

I also realize you said I changed. but you changed too. I see it now.

maybe it’s my fault. but u played a part in this too. n dun say u rely on me. cuz as far as I can see, everything you do is based on what u want. right or wrong doesn’t seem to matter. as long as you can get what you want.

I was wrong to encourage u that day. to make you think it’s ok. I shall hold that guilt with me as long as I live. that I will admit. n it wasn’t right for me to let u think its ok. it still isn’t right.
but what am I doing? y do I stay? why do I feel its my duty to change you? why does it hurt when u do those things which are not right? why do I care?

so far I’ve seen the two reasons ppl can go crazy. one is cuz of pure genius. the other is cuz of love.

I think I fall into the latter category.

heh. so i am crazy huh.

Maybe someday you will grow

Maybe someday you will know

Maybe someday you will end these tears and go

Lostprophets

Currently Listening To: No Such Thing - John Mayer

Yes I Know

sheesh. i know. but yet.... i dunno. k its wrong. we both know it. n yes i was going against what i said. i guess it was just to suit myself huh. or maybe cuz its just right? its supposed to be that way. i really haf no idea. jealousy? hmmm.

darn. no one was supposed to know. yet now so many ppl know. n they'll all see and there goes me. just haf to keep my mouth shut for now. onli very few ppl know exactly. and even less know exactly exactly. lets hope they dun haf a reason to let it all out.

n i still haf tons more to say to you. abt 3 guys. abt books. abt stuff la. loads of stuff. yet, there's jus no chance. y do u always seem busy? ure supposed to try u know. is it that hard to try? it doesn't even take much i think. its the small things that work for me.

if i cud i wud be there all the time. but i cant. not cuz of me. cuz of my parents. if i cud i wud be there everyday. cuz i want to. i'd really do almost anything if i was given more freedom. its so hard to get eventhough i'm 19. this is the part abt bein in my family that sux. there's jus no freedom eventho i'm over 18. these are the times i wish i was in rich family where the parents dun give a damn. then i'd be free. free to try to make u a small bit happy. jus like how u wud want. jus like how others cud give you. i want so much to be there. n when i can i do my best to. maybe u jus dun get it cuz ure like living the exact opposite life. n ure surrounded by ppl who are capable of doin whatever they like. ppl who can be there. yes i'm feeling useless n less than everyone else again. but hey, u'll nvr see this till i'm feeling way better. so i guess it doesnt matter. jus know that if i cud, i really really wud. but wud you?

bet i'm not makin sense right now too. jus letting everything in my head out. let it go. i got another song. smth i wish you cud sing. maybe. but lets not hope on it k. cuz hope jus leads to disappointment.

*******Best Of Me*******

It's so hard to say that I'm sorry I'll make everything alright
All these things that I've done now what have I become
And where did I go wrong

I don't mean to hurt, just to put you first
I won't tell you lies
I will stand accused with my hand on my heart
I'm just trying to say

I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much and I'd fix all that I've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets and you would
Have the best of me

I know that I can't take back all of the mistakes but I will try
Although it's not easy, I know you believe me 'cause I would not lie
Don't believe their lies, told through jealous eyes, they don't understand
I won't break your heart, I won't bring you down
But I will have to say

I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much and I'd fix all that I've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets and you would
Have the best of me

I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much and I'd fix all that I've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets and you would
Have the best of me

*********Sum 41*********

Currently Listening To: Best Of Me - Sum 41

Melaka Trip

heh. my blog seems to have died while i was gone. hmm. anyway, i jus came back from melaka. n i'll try not to talk much cuz i'm lazy plus a photo is worth a million words right? yes yes i'm gonna post tons of photos. haha. =P

on the way to the hotel. nice clean lookin place.

The hotel. yes the building behind.

thats what they call it.

they served chocolates as a welcome gift. cool!

this bed is heaven. the most comfortable bed i've ever slept in.

Chicken Rice Balls! din taste that great tho.

oh. this is the convoy car for Merdeka. its supposed to travel to all to all the states b4 Merdeka. saw it on the way to the zoo. yea at night. oh yeah! i saw a lot of u guys there during the Zoo visit. i think it was at the cage labelled monkeys. =P

waste of money for a drink.

it's a kenduri. and when ure in the army n get married they raise their swords and do smth. i dunno what.
Sg. Melaka. i think. from the pool level view.

view of Melaka from the pool level again. look at that bridge far at the end in the middle of this pic. i'll tell u why later.

i was at the pool and not swimming so i took photos.

view from the lazy chair.

If i jump couldwould you save me? or at least try?

whoa. dinner was nice. all i had to do was sit there and ppl came to serve me. haha! food was ok la. no mood to eat nowdays. ppl say i'm getting too thin. oh well. so my friends n i decided to get out of there cuz we got nth to do at the dinner. the original plan was to find a CC. which WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CLOSE-BY! BUT! we ended up walking all the way to Makhota Parade and Melaka Megamall from the hotel. how far away is that? remember the bridge in the pic? yes. cept it was a bit further. yes we walked.

see! dataran pahlwan. thats where the Megamall was.

oh n Jim was trying to teach us to speak to random girls on the road. we basically asked her where was a CC. n she din know. oh well. at least we talked to her. haha!

so we did find a CC. cept it was a CRAFT CENTRE. -__-"

on the way back (after failing to find a CC) we decided to take a photo to remember our craziness. haha! so while we were walking, we were sorta standing at this small roundabout place near St Paul's Hill there, waiting to cross the road. suddenly while walking this Waja drove past us and this is what we heard............

*squeakynoisetoattractattention*

Hai sayang!


and we all jus stared as the car jus continued driving on. heh. Melaka girls are quite brave eh. haha! but too bad the car din stop or anything. haihhh.........

haha! anyway we were discussing this for quite some time. and they came up with the conclusion that the mysterious girl said that cuz i was walking in front and it was for me. =_="

wow. i've got an admirer n i dunno who it is. sheesh. haha! Jim said the Hai was for me and the sayang was for him cuz he was behind me. i like his explanation. doesn't make me regret not knowing who it was. haha!

so anyway, we continued back and on the way back, like 10 min away from the hotel we found a CC. =___________=""

so since we found it we went in n played for about half an hour. sheesh walking around for more than one and a half hours and we got onli half an hour. man. well, if we din walk that long we wud haf nvr haf got the Hai sayang right? haha! so i guess it was a good thing we missed it huh.


so then we went back to the hotel and slept. then next day i'm back here in front of my com. haha.

oh ya....... something new has been added to my front yard.......


hahaha! unfortunately i'm not allowed to drive it. government car n all that. parents are scared i'll wreck it. sheesh.

so i'm still stuck with continuously malfunctioning car. seriously. look at the Rev Meter! its at 6!! and after i took this pic it almost reached the RED ZONE! i din even reach my 120 yet! the car smelt like it was burning after i reached home.

oh i think the sign says the speed limit is 80. oops

u know whats amazing. the fastest i managed to reach was on the slow lane. cuz the slowpokes decided they were fast and shud be on the fast lane. n the slow lane was free. sheesh. Malaysian drivers.

if u knew smth was wrong and u shudn't do it, yet u know its fun n u'll enjoy it and it doesn't cause much harm. yet u'll be goin against all u've said. would you do it?

its jus for fun right? i hope things dun mess up.

here's a song which i feel is so related to me. some parts. oh you know which ones.

*************One & Only*************

Verse 1 - Timbaland]
I'm head over heels for someone (I)
That I really can't deal with (deal with)
I want to block her out my mind
But I really can't do it
I tell myself this the last time
I'ma let her do this to me
Whenever we do spend time
I realize that I can't get enough of you

[Bridge - Patrick Stump (Timbaland)]
(Let me say to you)
Wipe that smile off your fucking face (Then I say to you)
Wipe that smile off your face (Then I say to you)
Wipe that smile off your fucking face (Then I say to you)
Wipe that smile off your face (Then I say to you)

[Chorus - Patrick Stump]
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Right in the middle
I'm right in the middle
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Be my unholy
My one and my lonely

[Verse 2 - Patrick Stump]
I wear scarves and hoods
'Cause they're the only poker face that I got left
And everything I love about you is a mess
Smash the mirror and break the palm readers hand
(I) want to be better than I am

[Bridge - Patrick Stump (Timbaland)]
(Let me say to you)
Wipe that smile off your fucking face (Then I say to you)
Wipe that smile off your face (Then I say to you)
Wipe that smile off your fucking face (Then I say to you)
Wipe that smile off your face (Then I say to you)

[Chorus - Patrick Stump]
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Right in the middle
I'm right in the middle
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Be my unholy
My one and my lonely

[Verse 3 - Timbaland]
Girl, just look what you've done
How could you do this to me?
I gotta put my foot down
I can't let you do this to me
I can't forget those good ole times
And all the things you've been doing to me
I wanna hit that one more time
I mean love, what your doing to me
I'ma say it loud, right here
Let's fuck in this crowd
Why we arguing
I thought me and you were supposed to be
Friends
Let's chill for minute (for a minute)
Better yet we could heal for a minute (for a minute)
Baby, put down the knife
Sometime I wanna save ya life
Why don't you

[Chorus - Patrick Stump]
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Right in the middle
I'm right in the middle
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Be my unholy
My one and my lonely

*******Timbaland ft Fall Out Boy*******

Currently Listening To: One & Only - Timbaland ft Fall Out Boy.

Maybe It's Too Soon

but i'll just blame it on my impatience. right now i feel dumb/stupid/like a fool. and y? cuz of my own fault. i said i wudnt do it yet i went and did it again! =( where is your self control ben?? u know by doin what u did what the outcome wud be like. it was expected. and prob now wasn't such a great time to do it either. but wud you listen?? nooooo. u jus had to do it right?

idiot.

sry su teng. eventho i said i wudnt do it today but yet i went and did it. n i'm thinking now it was a mistake. i shud haf controlled myself and waited. argh. now all i have is hurt again. ish.

and i cud be overreacting as usual in my normal way. hmm.

****************

as i see it, both ways i lose. if i din find out, u wud say i dun care. if i do find out u wud say i'm stalking you. so how now? i'm jus destined to lose eh. haih.

anyway, i'll be gone. hope i dun end up too bored. if i do i can always call Darrel. he already offered. haha. see how la. they've already got plans all planned out for us. so maybe i'll be busy huh. haha.

damn it. i shudnt la. argh. but its not like i can keep myself away. argh. u r d one supposed to try ok. =(

Why am I still suffocating
Constantly devastated just to stay alive

Sound The Alarm

Currently Listening To: Miss Murder Director's Cut - A.F.I

Heh. Funny.

u know that thing abt not being out after 12 doesn't stand anymore. i guess we both know this. jus that i'm reconfirming. playing pool so late, i mean early, in the morning? haha. sure la tu. plus it wasn't like there was any occasion k. and it wasn't like u were on ur way back. no no. i'm not complaining or anything. i'm jus saying i'm right. again. =)

my first official day of the holiday. feels awesome! nvr really felt like this before. today i woke up at abt almost 12. din haf to worry abt goin anywhere or getting ready for anything. everything was just so relaxed. i love every bit of it. not having a worry in the world. ok. maybe i did have a worry for someone who was speeding on the road. haha. but other than that i jus ate lunch, online, play guitar, watch tv, online, haf tea, sleep again, online and dinner and now i'm back here typing this. haha. i love the hols. but already my parents are complaining that i shud be doin smth useful with my time. haih. my life is jus so restricted. and this is y u were nvr happy. cuz i wasnt free like ur other frens' bf's and go out and spend so much time. haih.

anyway, i'm supposed to tell u abt a story. first we'll have 3 characters. Guy A, Guy B and Girl C. so the story goes like this, Girl C says she wants Guy A, but is caught , lets put in mild terms, "flirting" with Guy B. Girl C then says she's completely regretful of what she's done and says she still wants Guy A. Guy A, who loves her so much, decides to forgive her and give her a chance. PPl make mistakes right? So you can't really blame her right? so anyway, Guy A and Girl C soon get together. then one day, Guy B says he's migrating overseas. (oh and it is also known at this time that Guy B wanted to get together wih Girl C, obviously that didn't happen). so Guy B wants to see Girl C before he goes because they are very "close". and with all that had happened, Girl C tells Guy A she wants to go see him cuz it'll be the last time she'll ever get to see him (cuz frens are important to her) for another dunno how many years (cuz he's migrating far away right?). not wanting to be such a control freak on his gf and wanting to trust her he says its ok. but inside he wants to say no to her. that she shudn't go see him after everything that has happened. so she goes and they jus haf a drink and nothing happens. or so Girl C says. but Guy A always has to live with the fact that Girl C choose to go see Guy B eventho she knew it wud cause a lot of uneasyness to Guy A plus all the hurt that she caused by doin what she did with Guy B before they got together and she said she wanted him. now remember, Girl C said she had to go see Guy B cuz he's a fren and she doesn't know when it'll be the next time she gets to see him. and chances are she'll nvr see him again right? u know whats funny? its been less than a year and Guy B is back already.

Heh. Funny.

This is what I thought, I thought you'd need me.
This is what I thought, so think me naive.
I promise you a heart you'd promise to keep.
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

A.F.I.

obviously, this isn't my story la ok. haha. of course if i told my story it wud be futile to try and cover up the names with Guy A, Guy B and Girl C right? you already know the ppl and my life and what has happened. but i cant tell you whose story it is either. cuz then, knowing humans, those ppl will be judged. so jus leae some comments on what u think abt the ppl in the story k.anything will do. there's no right or wrong answers. jus say whats on ur mind. even if u think its not helpful it may be helpful to someone else. and basically, he really is hoping for comments to know if the way he is feeling right now is necessary or not. so don't be lazy la ok. haha.


riddles. =P my favourite part. haha. but these two riddles will be best understood but those who are aged above 15 la. haha. sry la for the underaged ppl. haha. its more related to physics and chemistry. haha.

Question 1: There is no specific mass for proton. Why?

Question 2: Pretend a neutron could walk around and behave like a human. So this neutron goes into a shop and takes stuff off the counter and goes to the cashier. But when he wants to pay, the cashier dismisses him and he leaves the store without paying. This happens at all the shops he goes to. Why?

thats all. think abt. i'll be back with the answers later. =P

k i gtg now. dad wants to use. i may be back later to blog more. but see how la. haha. bye!

Currently Listening To: Prelude 12/21 - A.F.I.

100th Post!

heh. n i've reached my 100th post on blogspot. feeling kinda proud. haha!

b4 i go any further,there's a wish that needs to be said..........

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!!! =D

a.k.a miss laran/pinkcess/marshmellow/conning partner/potato/"ex"/limbo!/poring/Lauren the Limbotic Limbo.

hahahha. i hope u enjoyed urself yest n had fun! like doin math at 5 in d morning? hahahaha. another year older eh. haha! well, hopefully u'll have another 100 more great years ahead of u k! =D

ps.: i still want all the photos and videos. esp the photo of ur face being smashed with cake. ;P hahahaha!

anyway, yest i was feeling super horribly sick. like dunno what disease got into me. i was having aches and fevers and my throat was the WORST! it continued today, but it like got worse for my throat. everytime i swallow it feels like someone stabbed me in the throat. the pain was excruciating. so everytime i tried swallowing even saliva, it wud hurt like hell. n this was goin on since last night while sleeping. its such a horrbile feeling k. imagine every few minutes someone was sawing through ur throat. but its not like i really did anything to heal it. was drinking cold drinks whole day. n the worst was my root beer float which was a mix of cold and sugar which is really bad for sore throats (Josef 2007). i did take a strepsils in the morning tho. helped onli a little. but now it still hurts, just not that much. now i dun wince everytime i swallow my saliva. so i guess its getting better? hmm.

i got some lame jokes from my lame classmate again. i'll post it up tmrw. hope u like them. =P n those who know the answers cant say anything ok! haha.

not that emo currently. i'm still waiting for you to tell me. cuz i know you know. but maybe i'm jus hoping too much. for me to trust you i need to know u trust me. and if it really is nth. u wud tell. its been abt 1 week since i've known. i dunno how long u've known. maybe its smth u tot u cud hide again? hmm.

I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised
Bruised

Jack's Mannequin

i've got some stories to tell too. not stories abt me. but stories to get u ppl thinking. n i wanna know what u all think too.

but we'll leave that for another day la k. hmmm. now i'll leave u girls with something to think abt. Got it from one of Sanjit's friend's blog.

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they get the apples from the ground that arent as good, but easy. So the apples up on top think something is wrong with them when in reality they're perfect (and way too good to be eaten). They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Currently Listening To: Don't Stay - Linkin Park