Frus.

hmm. feeling kinda frustrated now. wasted another 5 cents today msg someone who comes online just when i send the msg. argh!!! so annoying. anyway my com is like in super lag mode now.

today's dinner was weird. i cant believe how weird things cud get. esp the way she was acting. i so wanted to get out of there as fast as i cud. the weirdest part is meeting the guy who wanted to date ur girl when i was still together with her. had to just act as if nth was wrong. thats even weirder. yea i know its not his fault but from his asking i got emo. so yea in a way its his fault la. haih.

anyway, i planned to do my spec math today but nth happened.. thats quite frustrating too. haih. i gotta get it done la. cant procrastinate any longer. argh. kinda pissed off that i procrastinated too. >=(

so anyway, today i decided to help out the schoolchildren ;) with kids worship cuz they apparently din have a guitarist and they needed to practice. n i guess its since i was the nearest one living near church i went to help (man if my mom knew exactly why i went i wud be dead). din do much there played a bit guitar then bass then drums. heh. i think i'm gettin better at drums. jus need whole loads of more training n practicing. hopefully one day i can be as good as Dana. haha. then din do much. i think car got scratched but oh well. cant change that now right? =/ later sent Lauren, Su teng n Julian back to lauren's house then i went back home.

Schoolchildren at work. =P

Schoolchildren posing. =P

i'm feeling so emo now. =/ i guess cuz of my thinking. n how things turned out to be. i feel so sad abt that yet happy at the same time. haih. i honestly hate forgiving. cuz when i forgive so easily, ppl tend to think i'm not actually mad. like what they did din cause me any hurt. the worst is ppl who act as if nth is wrong. the wrong you then jus act normal the next day. wow. esp when i nvr said i forgave you.

i guess even if you knew how i feel now, it doesnt matter right? not like anything's gonna change. you always tell me that: "it doesnt matter/not like its gonna change anything". i can say the same for you too u know. but i wish i din have to say the same. =/ all i want right now is the truth. not the lie that you've believed to be the truth. but the plain old truth. not the turth which u decided not to hide. not the half truth. jus the truth. can you trust me? cuz i know i have. all this while i have. when u believed i didn't. even when i believed i didn't. it turned out that it was not me who couldn't trust. but you. i just want the truth. there's more i wud ask for. but i shudn be greedy right? maybe i'll tell you some other time. hopefully i'll have the chance.

missing you and all the great times we had. =/

and you / you will be alone
alone with all your secrets
and regrets
don't lie

In Pieces - Linkin Park

Currently Listening To: Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield