Happy Birthday Joel!

heh. looks like its my roomies bday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEL! =D

hope ure enjoying ur pork dinner now. ;) haha! well today started off horribly boring tho. with moral class which was damn boring. then some assembly which was even more boring. then briefing stuff. even even more boring. ish. die man.

boring talk.

but! after that, we went to celebrate Joel's bday! so saved the rest of the day from being horrible. haha. so to celebrate, under Clarence's planning, we went to the Curve.

the Curve's pretty empty in the afternoons. i wonder y? =P

so first stop of celebration: Tony Romas. some really fancy western restaurant. yup my first time being there. dun live the high class life to go there regularly. haha! so anyway, ordered Lamp Chops. which tasted really great. with the sauce and all. and for some reason the mint sauce came in some jelly sort of form. haha. was goin to go for the recommended Beef Ribs cuz of peer pressure from Clarence but managed to stand up for myself and order the Lamb Chops. which cost 30.90 tho. but i wud say it was kinda worth it. tasty lamb chops, coleslaw, french fries, soup of the day and refillable soft drink. unfortunately the portions were kinda small la. at least for me.

my 30 bucks meal.

we're definitely coming back here one day for this. ;)

so after lunch (which cost altogether 47 bucks cuz we belanja-ed Joel too. a lot eh. haha!) we decided since we were at Cinelesuire too, we should go watch a movie. on the way there i spotted this really hot girl. think she was a salesgirl at one of the kiosks nearby Tony Romas. she had this sort of goth emo look which was awesome. shud haf gone and taken a photo with her la. haih. regret. unfortunately, others din seem to find her that much appealing. Clarence said she was scary. =/ is my taste in girls that weird ke? sheesh.k anyway, we had actually bought tickets for our movie b4 lunch. so we just went in just right for the movie after lunch. the movie this time was Skinwalkers.

which turned out pretty good eventhough i nvr thought i would wanna watch it. pretty okay la. wasn't bad or anything. but it wasn't fantastic either. jus good. nice show. it was abt werewolves. those who wanted to be werewolves and those who wanted to be realsed from the "curse". smth like that la. haha. so after that since we watched a movie at cinelesuire and we know we can get free bowling after that, we obviously headed for the bowling alleys. played a game there since it was free but this time the score was horrible. which is y no picture will be shown. haha! after that we din wanna go back cuz we din wanna get caught in the after office traffic jam so we decided to walk around in the Curve to waste time. after so long of walking around and me still being hungry and the super inviting smells of all the food all around the Street region, i finally gave in and went to Big Apple for food. Donuts to be precise. haha.


awesome doughnuts. full stop. =D n then we came back la. haha! well today din turn out so bad after all even if it started out bad. n i guess i haf to thank you joel for that. haha! hope u had an awesome bday! =D

*************

yea. we both know its for me. i'm sry. n if its not for me, i still terasa n i'm still sorry. i wish i was that cheerful person. i really want to be. haih.

who would you choose? someone who really shows that the person wants you, would give anything to get you and will do anything to keep you there. to this person, as long as you're there, noone else wud matter alredi. other ppl wont go after this person, cuz they know it would be useless. they know where the person's heart is. and the person wont even layan them. just you. or someone who says they want you so much but will not do anything to show it. the actions produced by this person shows exactly the opposite. so all you have are words. but the person really really wants you. or so she says. dun answer yet who you would choose. cuz here's the catch. you love the 2nd person to bits. now who would you choose?

(no the story isn't real life. jus smth from my mind. yes it has some similarities to my life but its not my life. so dun think so much. its annoying when everytime i tell a story ppl think its abt me. its not ok.)

hmm. wondering. what wud haf been the reaction if that msg was sent? wud it be retaliation? saying "i'll prove you wrong!" or wud it haf been one of admittance of defeat, "ure right, i shud go". well, obviously everyone shud know my answer by now. hmm.

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it alright
But not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it alright
But not right now
I know you're wondering when

Nickelback

cuz someday may be just too late.

Currently Listening To: Nickelback - Someday

Not As Boring As I Thought

well, today din turn out to be as bad as i thought it would. i mean, come on, the whole day with nth to do? i bet u'd be bored out of ur skull too. esp when ure stuck in shah alam. haha. so nth much actually happened today.

i actually planned to go for breakfast today which is smth apparently not many ppl do or at least not many of my frens do. unfortunately, due to extremely coincidental circumstances (i wont say wrong place wrong time cuz it was neither. haha) it appeared to be like some "scandal". sheesh. but its nth ok. dun think so much. it jus happened to be like that. n no i wasn't trying to hide my face with my hood. its cuz my hair was a mess and i could not wear my cap then. dun think so much k Jin. haha.

so anyway, when the circumstances turned the way it shud haf been, no one was there to say anything and remove rumours. -_-" man, talk abt bad timing la. sheesh. so breakfast went on for one and a half hours actually. it prob cud haf gone longer but then some ppl had to go. so yea. n i actually woke up early on a holiday to haf breakfast man. feel so proud. haha! what to do. the Appam was nice what. =P

then came back, slept til 2 smth i think. yes i know i sleep a lot. haha. then woke up. followed joel to go pay his summons. then makaned at kenny rogers at abt 4 smth. i like eating a lot i realise. makes me feel good cuz i'm its like one of the ways i can grow fat. haha! then came back again watched Deja Vu again. now i sorta understand the show. i think. haha. then played some games n all. still trying to beat Jill's high score on pinball of 16 million i think. cant remember. must ask her again. haha. then dinner n now i'm here. n crap i think i' m gonna be bored again. nth to do again. haha.

well at least DANA is keeping me company by msging me right DANA? haha. n yes DANA has to be caps cuz she wants me to show appreciation for her. so DANA's name will be caps. n DANA still isn't on my Activ5 list. which means it costs me 5cents to msg DANA. well at least its worth every 5 cents right DANA. hahahaha! k note to self: put DANA on Activ5 list as soon as i can. haha. happy tak DANA? one whole paragraph just for DANA. =P

*****************

still thinkin abt it. n i dunno y also. its haunting even more. dunno if i can live with it. but the funny thing is. its sorta happened b4. but the other times i can sorta forget. y? cuz i can c d regret? cuz u showed me that it really was a mistake? u let urself be transparent so i know everything cuz it din matter? hmm. its jus diff now. like i cant let go. it'll always be there. n i dunno whether that will save me or not too. haih. thinkin a lot nowdays.

it seems like everything i do has been done before. so whats the point of trying? i'll jus be like anyone else. its so frustrating. there's just no me anymore. i wish i cud haf left some mark or smth like that. =/

n i dunno if she is still angry with me. yea i know i prob din do as much as i can. but i had my reasons. and u can't really blame me for what happened. what if there was no me? hmm. i must try to think of the ways to fix this. i shud go explain as soon as i can. crap la. haih.

I don't feel the way I've ever felt.

I know.

I'm gonna smile and not get worried.

I try but it shows.

Anyone can make what I have built.

And better now

Anyone can find the same white pills.

It takes my pain away.

Jimmy Eat World

*ps.:now that i know its done i can say this: i need a better stapler which can actually work properly. =D
*ps2.: this Jimmy Eat World song happens to be the highest ranked of all the J.E.W. songs. well, at least most ppl have taste then. haha!


Currently Listening To: Pain - Jimmy Eat World

Trials Is OVER

but it ended horribly! haih. k i admit i din study at all. all i did was read through and look at examples. din do latihan so thats not counted as stuyding. so this is blamed on me n noone else. haih. shud haf concentrated n studied more la. ish.

but on the bright side it's over!! =D hahaha. n i've got nth to do for the next 2 days. absolutely nth. sheesh. i'm bored. i slept mostly the whole day today. exam ended at 10 i came back n slept at 11 smth. then at 2 i woke up had lunch n came back at 3 and slept again at 3 smth. then woke up at 6.40 to dnner. n all i ate for dinner was the kfc's garden salad. haha. yes i'm on a diet. too fat di. ;) i so sound like a girl man. haha!

so as u see. i'm damn bored. n i haf no car here. so all i can do is take the bus or ktm n go places if i want to. haha. i'll prob leave this com lab later to go watch house. my only way to not keep me bored. haha.

oh yeah. i saw Joash today smiling away at the Cemara gate. i asked where he was going and he said to see the doctor cuz he had an asthma attack. wow. for a guy who had an asthma attack he sure looked pretty cheerful abt it. i think thats smth i shud learn from him. to not let things like that bring me down and worried and all. shud learn to be calm like him. k lesson to learn: learn to be calm and cheerful in the face of danger. cuz i'm sure u wont feel better if u worry abt it and panic.

hmm. thats abt it today. of course i haf nth more to say cuz i was sleeping the whole day la. i jus keep wondering y some ppl din turn up 4 d test n there's no reply too. kinda worried. but may be nth.

*************

u know some ppl are just so fake. when they think ure not around they will act as if ure crap and talk bad abt u. then suddenly when they know ure there they'll act nice and say nice things like they actually like u. oh come on la. do u really think i din know u set the whole thing up? its so FAKE. noone changes like that so fast. pathetic.

n its also obvious that the whole bunch of you are against me now. its prob cuz u think i had a hand in it and was " betraying" u guys. i din know anything k. it happened without me knowing. so y r u boycotting me? well, at least it feels so. or maybe i'm jus paranoid. but i can sense it so much. and most times i'm not wrong. but everyone's jus different now. haih. nvm. for now i'll jus accept it as i'm being paranoid.

What if I say I'm not like the others

What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays

You're the pretender

What if I say that I'll never surrender

Foo Fighters

Currently Listening To: 155 - +44

Are You A Part Time Christian?

www.thewatchfire.blogspot.com

think abt it.

seriously.

*ps.: the pic is supposed to be a satire (sarcastic) btw.

Didn't Think It Would End Like This

honestly it turned out better than i tought. ure right. talking is a real good way to settle things. ure absolutely right. sry for denying it at first. but we're still not done. n i feel there's still so much that needs to be said and talked abt. i'm sure u feel the same way too. thx for finally opening and saying things from ur heart. thx for trusting me. but as u know, things wont pop right back into the place that we would have liked it to be. jus think abt this, if what u did is what i did to you, how would u want me to fix it? thats what i wanna know. hopefully i remember to ask u the next time. n what would you do to make this better?

*****************

haih. jus cant study my spec math man. this sux. cant concentrate and there's jus so much to do n so little time. i'm so gonna die la. haih. i need to study soooooo much.................. die.............

to the PMR ppl: ALL THE BEST FOR THIS WEEK!!!

i'm sure u guys will do absolutely fine. haha. u guys jus haf to think "i must try to be as great as ben" then i'm sure u guys can do it. cuz if u think "i'm gonna do my best" thats not good enuf. ;) hahahhaha!!!! jus joking. feelin knda high now. hahaha.

k i better go study! man this is the third or fourth time i've ended my blogging with this line. sheesh. i shudn't even be blogging.

oh yeah! Heroes Season 2! not bad la so far. curious to see how it goes. n if u want a spoiler, but not such a great one la of course jus some minor thing which u prob won't even care abt, highlight this ----> Someone died in the first episode.

k thats all. gtg. bye!

Because its dragging me down
I would like to know about when
When does it all turn around?

Mute Math

*p.s.: when i said i didn't do it means i didn't k. y do u always haf to try what i do? haih. =(

Currently Listening To: Typical - Mute Math

Mr. Deeds

just finished watching Mr. Deeds. you could see that Babe really meant what she said to Deeds and she was really guilty and regretted it so much that she just lied to him. the way she said if she has to beg for the rest of her life for forgiveness just to be with him she would gladly do it cuz she really loved him and wanted him. n even b4 that when she came to find him and say how guilty she felt. n she even had to fight that huge lady so she could find him. crap. the lady could haf killed her and she still fought.

imagine someone doing anything and giving up everything in their life for someone they love.
giving up everything.

crap. wish i had someone like that. haih.

nvm. its jus a story. fairy tales nvr come true anyway. but i still wish so......

Love songs suck and fairy tales aren't true
And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you 

Bowling For Soup

but i definitely wish it was a happy ending.

Currently Listening To: Smoothie King - Bowling For Soup

This Is So Much Better Than Silence

i was thinkin abt it. n i was wondering y. then it hit me. its obvious. it fits now. perfectly. man was i blind and stupid. everything just fit now. so weird. its like finish so long ago yet now when i realise it hurts. wow. i'm really that much huh. the smile, the laugh, the call. wow. i'm like freaking blur.

crap. haih.

So deep that it didn’t even bleed and catch me,

The Used

*************

well i'm kinda happy i made that decision. cant say what decision cuz there are certain eyes watching this blog who will kill me over my happiness for the decision i made. plus i gotta keep that whole thing next week shut in me. hayoo... problematic la when u got so many ppl checking up on u n all.

k spec math i should go study now. like really. its 3pm now. n whaddya know, waiting again. when am i not waiting i wonder. haha.

Currently Listening To: Luckie St. - Cartel

The Most Hated Guy

those who know me well enuf know that i dun like having stuff which everyone has. i'd prefer to be me and special and i don't like being treated like any other guy. i'm me. and cuz of this i dun like ppl having the same stuff as me. as some of u know that recently i've grown to dislike ppl who have the same phone as me. i purposely went for that phone for one reason is cuz noone i knew had it when i wanted it. i had actually chosen some other phone but then when i found out i had frens who had it i cancelled it out.

so now i chose a phone which no one had and i wud be like one of the pioneers having it. makes me special (yes i know it sounds pathetic the way i try to be special so much but too bad. haha.). but! sudd i see a month plus later MY PHONE starts popping out here and there. some close ppl i know also buy it. even my cousin! but i cant dislike these close ppl right. so i haf to deal with it. so now its the random strangers with the same phone that piss me off. i mean come on la. go buy some other phone can or not? so many other lousier models to choose from. heck, if u want an even lousier model u can go for Sony Erricson la and leave the whole Nokia great range out of ur buying list.

so u can imagine la my irritation seeing other ppl using MY PHONE. but then i realised that a person having the same phone as mine isn't the worst part. why? thats because i met this guy.........



look at the counter and what he has on his wallet or dunno what. yes its two phones. and whats worse its TWO OF MY PHONES!

This is officially the most hated guy.
***************

oh yeah. i forgot to mention earlier. 3 ppl's Bday today. so a shout out goes to guys. and girl.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO:

MING HAN!

LEON!!

JI HSIA!

and thats abt it. havent studied yet again. crap. totally my fault. practised guitar tho. which is good. i love the super distorted sound now. makes playing meant to live so much better. haha. oooohhh. n i've managed to add another song to the songs-i-can-play-blindfolded list. Switchfoot's Stars. pretty proud of myself right now. haha!

*********
kk. hmm. looks like things are all downhill from here. can anything be saved. will anything be more than jus a touch? i wonder.

And scars remind us
That the past is real

Papa Roach

Currently Listening To: Are You Happy Now - Michelle Branch

Crapster.

This is how it looks like at the time i go for my exams. No it's not night, it's 6 smth in the morning. Not only is it damn early, the place can be creepy too. Thats y its best to not go alone.

like really. Chem was pretty bad la. i needed more time. haih. i tot i had it all planned out properly each booklet had 4 questions. the test was 3 hours. so each booklet shud take one hour as they have the same amount of question. but still there was not enough time! n i skipped some questions. what annoyed me most during the exam was how i was telling Solehah that the glucose and alcohol stuff is important and she shud read it jus a few minutes before we went into the hall. i knew it was important yet i din check it. y din i check!! stupid me. yes that part came out and i cudn't answer. *@$%. so at the end i cudn't answer and there wasn't enuf time. how much not enuf time? when the lady said ten (or maybe 18) minutes left, i still had 2 more questions to do and there was an essay part in the last question. crap la. hopefully my crappy answers can pass off as legitamate answers.

well left one more paper and i dun want to mess this paper up. Spec Math. sheesh. haf to study. yet i'm playing for worship this sunday again. hope i haf enuf time to study. but i haf to work at it and not just talk.

was watching spongebob today and i found it so lame. more than usual this time. i dunno y. its jus so stupid. i actually think i'm laughing more now at things i wouldn't laugh at last time. weird. haha. oh n i watched scrubs for the first time too today. k that show i will definitely haf to say is hilarious. n has that good teachings too. like how heroes always ends with some great quote and all.

wait. heroes...... oh yeah! Season 2 is out! k gtg. download time. =D

yea. no emo post for now. i think i'm losing feeling. dunno. hmm.

I love the way I feel today 
But how I know the sun will fade 
Darker days seem to be 
What will always live in me 
But still I run 

Alter Bridge

Currently Listening To: Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

It Feels Better

yea. it does. letting stuff out in the blog. these things need to get out of my mind so i can concentrate on other stuff.

n i really cant believe when ppl look at ur sms and say i dunno what to say. its more like i dun wanna say anything right now. i'll jus leave this and go do other stuff first. i mean like come on la. u look at the sms takkan ur mind is blank?

the longer the wait, the less time u have. n finally there wont be time anymore. cuz i for one feels i'm totally but slowly disappearing. n u know that too and i can see u want that too. yet u feel its me who wants it?

so this is what my blog is for. to let things out. whether exaggerated or not. n no, ure not obliged to comment on every post i made. preferbly jus read them. thx. cuz it gets annoying when i get a comment from the same person for every post.

n u know, ppl get used to things. i believe its called adaptation. soon i'll get used to not recieving anything from u, not hearing anything from u and basically not having you. is that your plan? cuz now i dunno anything abt you and its starting to not bug me anymore. n soon i'll prob get used to not getting any smses from you. looks like ur plan is working perfectly.

haih. stupid me.

And baby I understand how your making new friends

This is how you get by

Mayday Parade

ps.: I forgot to mention this in my earlier post n i forgot to mention it here too til i remembered of course. the blog's gonna go private again. thats all

Currently Listening To: A Decade Under The Influence - Taking Back Sunday

It's Like Forced, Yet It's Not

k referring to my previous post, i decided that i wont tell anyone. cuz its smth i've been trusted with. so i'd prefer to just shut up and not say anything. i've trained myself not to let out anyone's secret or anything they tell me not to tell anyone or even things which they wouldn't want ppl to know. so i'm not gonna start now by telling.

but honestly. its seriously fine la. i was jus overreacting in the previous post. mengada only. haha. chill la u ppl. i'm still ok. haha. my posts are usually exaggerated so dun think much of it.

k some weird stuff has happened these past few days. like the fact that those two ppl jus seems so quiet like there was some problem on the way back after the exam that day. they seemed fine beofre but in the cdar it was jus too quiet. i felt like i was the one trying to make them talk but noone wanted to budge from the silence. i dont even know y they were so silent for. cuz i've travelled with both of them seprately b4 and the was no communication probs. its so weird. maybe they were angry with each other or smth. so putting both of them in the same car = not good idea. but how am i supposed to know if they're not ok. they both seem like fine with me. sheesh. girls are nvr meant to b understood la. n now i'm wondering if i shud haf taken them both that day. ish. this is y sometimes its not good to invite urself for stuffs. its better to get invited. but nvm. its over n i dun think i shud think of it.

trials are goin on right now. ESLS was ok, Physics was bad, Math was ok also. Chem is tmrw n i spent the whole afternoon studying. cuz the whole morning i was sleeping la. haha. but i havent been able to concentrate much the past few days. mind keeps wandering off some place else. of course not that i want it to wander la. it jus happens. i end up spending half an hour on one page. or smth like that la. need to concentrate badly tonight. must not think of anything else. i must do well tmrw. haih.

my credit jus seems to have suddenly gone down so much. this is bad. crap la. i think i may need to top up soon. maybe later when i go and repark the car. crap la. spending too much and i dunno how.

oh talking abt credit, those of you on hotlink shud really try the super savers thing. its jus 2 bucks and you can talk as much as you to any maxis number from 12 am to 12 pm. and its not only for one maxis number its to any maxis number. so that means u can talk for 12 hours non-stop to any maxis number or a few maxis numbers and it will only cost u 2 bucks. but from 12am to 12pm la. but still its totally worth it. n this time its not some scam. haha. its been tested and it does work. trust me. haha.

n my cap has finally become my symbol at college. cuz i'm like the only guy apparent;y walking around with my cap. kinda cool u know. to have ur own identity. n not b like anyone else. seriously, other ppl who wear my cap also get called by my name. sheesh. or maybe that had some other meaning. hmm. nvm. haha. i'll prob b the-guy-who-walks-around-with-his-jacket-hood-up-when-my-cap-is-stolen-by-some-ppl next too. well, at least ppl will know its me even if they think its weird. haha.

still waiting........................ din know i was such a hard person to talk to. i mean things cant get any worse than it already is right? or could it? or has it already got any worse? is it so hard to prove me wrong?

eh crap. sounds like i've said that before. heh. looks like things nvr change huh.

The words are coming I feel terrible

Is it typical for us to act like this

Am I just another scene

From a movie that you've seen 100 times

Mayday Parade

Currently Listening To: Still Waiting - Sum 41

I Need To Tell Someone

i really need to. i dunno if i'm overreacting over smth that is normal or am i not. am i the only in this world feeling this way? shud i be upset? shud i feel the way i do? am i being too traditional? am being so conservative? is it wrong to want things to be special and not given away jus like that?

is it really smth wrong with me and the way i think? i cant stand it.

i really feel like telling someone. having someone advise me on this. i need to know if i'm overreacting. it bugs me everyday. how can u think its ok? i've never been brought up to think its ok. but is it really ok? there must be a reason it happened. is it cuz its normally ok?

aih i dunno. i jus know its wrong. but am i the only one thinking this way?

why'd u haf to be like this? =(

i really really wish i cud tell someone.

i really need to know.

it kills me every single second of this life of mine not knowing whether its right or wrong.

but i can't tell.

the worst part is its for u that i cant tell anyone.

haih.

When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive 

Goo Goo Dolls

Currently Listening To: Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

I Studied Today

no seriously i did. not much. but its smth. n yet i'm extremely unhappy with myself for studying so little. nvm. i'll go bathe later and put a bit more into my head. sheesh. my trials is sooo gonna die. haihh. jus can't concentrate. =/


Quotes for the day:

Stay away from her.

Huh? Why?

She tried to take my picture in standard 6. I always thought she'd frame it up, put it at her bedside and look at it each time before she falls asleep.

hahahhahaha! ;D

oh check out this vid. The song is This Is The End (For You My Friend) by Anti-Flag. recommended by CHAN SU TENG. video also found by her. THANKS SU TENG!! =D (happy tak?? ;P )

Video & Song of the Day:



Moral from the video:
STOP FOLLOWING THE WORLD PPL!


i love vids and songs like these which tell u not to believe/follow what the world says. smth to think abt.

Song Quote of the Day:

Seems every station on the TV
is selling something no one can be
If every page was torn from the magazine
would cash still drive the media machine?
The products, damage and pursuit are endless
identity can leave you selfless

Anti-Flag

oooohhh i fnially heard Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girls. i still dun see whats so great abt the song. its like jus OKAY ONLY. thats all. dun even see y ppl like it. actually its like a little less than ok la. i cant understand ppl la. like how some find Avril's When You're Gone to be so nice and sweet and all. i think the song really is bad. sure the lyrics are nice and meaningful and all, but it jus so doesn't fit the music and the rest of the song. even the music is kinda messed up. sheesh. another example is Jimmy Eat World's 23. like seriously la. whats so great abt the song?? i heard it the first time that day and i tot it was quite boring. no dun get me wrong. i love J.E.W.. they got so many good songs. but i jus dun see whats so nice and great abt 23. it's jus another song. nth special la. k i'm prob gonna get blasted by all these ppl who love these songs soon. so i guess i shud stop here. enemies from 3 diff songs is enuf for one day. ;)

i'm not sure abt what else i wanna say. no mood to emo. guess i wasn't meant to emo heh dana. haha.

Currently Listening To: Masochist - Ingrid Michaelson

No Comments On That

it wud be just easier to say no. so if nth has change or nth is different, what shud i consider again? to get hurt again? hmmm. i think i'll pass on that.

n now u know whats it feel like when ur sms dun get replied. yea sure give u time to think, but even u cudnt give that cud u? u wud prefer a msg instantly. now u know how i feel. but if u need time u cud jus tell. but u dun either so i've come to learn that when u dun msg back soon its cuz ure thinking and u need time off. so now i know u need time so jus msg me when ure done. u know how it feels now.

n i'm jus so curious wit the way u acted. y d sudden urgency to want everything back to normal? i'm sure u've been talking to someone tho u wont tell me that. what has this person been telling u? what has the person made u think? what have u told the person? why the open ur mind thing? i know u've been talking to somebody.

yes i'm assuming. its what i do when i dunno stuffs. i'm sry.

We're turning our clocks back.
Just never ourselves.
So go with the flow,
Just relax. (Just relax.)
You never feel the jet lag,
Unless you're trying to fit in.

Taking Back Sunday

********************

u know, i realise no one in my house calls the cat by its actual name assigned to it. k its official name, for those who dunno, is Miaow Miaow. the name was suggested by me but i din know they wud seriously use it. anyway, no one actually calls it that. My mom and sis call it Miaow. My dad calls it puss in boots. and i call it DC which stands for Dumb Cat. n surprisingly i think it likes me best. haha. oh i've got a video of it playing hide n seek. ask me for it if u want it. its seriously cute la. n i dun call much stuff cute too.

crap la. studying hasnt been going well at all. been thinking of stuff. i need to concentrate. like really. so little time left. n crap i'm wasting even more time blogging here. but i jus needed to. oh well.

on the good side, at least i know that both Uni's have got my application form and are processing/processed it. now i jus need to do my accomodation form. like now. k i shall do it after blogging. i promise. wow. very soon i'll be leaving huh. leaving everyone and living life on my own. another chance to start a new life. i hope i have the right frens to keep me on the right path there. like seriously anything cud happen there. i'm scared of that. haih. oh well.

well, all this is happening and time is running out. kinda depressing. haih.

k i shud do my stuff n go study. like now. bye!

Currently Listening To: Lostprophets - Sway...

Free At Last

finally after so long i'm free from all my assignments. k not all la. still have spec math coming up. but, considering i had to sleep at 3 and wake up at 7 again to finish my ESLS i feel pretty darned good. plus i finished up my gorups Math project, printed it and also binded it up and passed itup. n the best part is, when i sent my Math project in i got back my Math test results. yea, the one i tot i did really horribly and was emoing that night. but apparently i din do so horrible! i got 85%! so i'm feeling preety good right now. or maybe cuz i came back and jus slept la so i'm feeling sorta fresh and happy i got back my lost sleep feeling.

the bad thing that happened today is that i almost into an accident. n no i its not my fault. at least i dun think so. basically i was following behind these two cars when suddenly they both turned off and i see right in front of me a stationary car who was waiting to turn off the road. so i had to slam the brakes. ok maybe not that hard la. but thankfully i managed to stop in time and also there was a lot of space la between. but i felt it was damn scary. esp since my last accident. this i really thank God so much. i seriously had to break hard k. even my food flew a bit forward from the seat. lucky me man. seriously.

speaking of food. i had to eat alone today cuz everyone seemed to be busy or had eaten way earlier already. i ate lunch at 3 smth k. sheesh. haih. so depressing having to buy back. what was funny tho was the expression the guy gave when i said i wanted to mix my drinks. i tot it was normal. i mixed Ribena and Sprite. it was ok la. cudn't really taste much of the Ribena tho. last time 7-Up and Ribena tasted good. now thats smth to try. maybe she shud go and make a stand for that drink and claim copyright for it too. really good mix. haha.

there is one reason i choose not to top up. cuz when u top up. somehow u wont get any msges. but when you DONT top up, every-freaking-body in the whole world will sudd msg u smth to ask abt smth and its smth u really need to answer. of course msges to chat dun count la. those msg i wud want to reply so i'd prefer to get them. its the annoying msges that you NEED to reply that i get when i DONT have credit. so i jus haf to wait until they call me or smth. haha. but when i DO top up. sudd everyone knows everything and doesn't msg. wasting my money go top up only -_-. so its better if i dun top up and make those ppl suffer. however i suffer cuz i cant msg ppl i want to reply too la. oh well.

well, now that my projects are all done. i shud really concentrate on studying. maybe i shud go to the library or smth. hmm.

oh ya. got an extremely awesome song. super meaningful and nice. recommended by Jin again. now this is y u shud listen to ppl who look for songs based on lyrics and not the band or the music. really good song. read the words. and yes its a super slow song. only piano. so yes most of u wud enjoy it. sheesh. i do listen all sorts of music la ok.

********Miserable At Best********

Katie, don't cry, I know

You're trying your hardest

And the hardest part is letting go

Of the nights we shared

Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting

But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright

And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend you're alone tonight

(I know he's there)

You're probably hanging out and making eyes

(while across the room, he stares)

I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor

And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say

Or her to second guess

But I guess

That I can live without you but

Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all I hoped I'd find

In every single way

And everything I could give

Is everything you couldn't take

Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away

And the hardest part of living

Is just taking breaths to stay

Because I know I'm good for something

I just haven't found it yet

But I need it

So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight

(I know he's there)

You're probably hanging out and making eyes

(while across the room, he stares)

I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor

And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say

Or her to second guess

But I guess

That I can live without you but

Without you I'll be miserable at best

ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh

And this will be the first time in a week

That I'll talk to you

And I can't speak

Been three whole days since I've had sleep

Because I dream of his lips on your cheek

And I got the point that I should leave you alone

But we both know that I'm not that strong

And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight

(I know he's there)

You're probably hanging out and making eyes

(while across the room, he stares)

I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor

And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say

Or her to second guess

But I guess

That I can live without you but

Without you I'll be miserable

And I can live without you

But without you I'll be miserable

And I can live without you

Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

********Mayday Parade********

Currently Listening To: Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade

*Swear*

I'm currently very pissed off with myself.

i went and brilliantly spoiled my earphones for my phone by accidently pulling it when it was stuck to Cemara's Starbucks table. *bloodytable*

so now one whole side of the earphone came off the wires. *swears*

that means no more enjoying music from my phone. no more being able to block out noises of ppl talking. no more isolating myself from everyone else. no more me time. and worst of all: NO MORE MUSIC!!! *SWEARS!*

there goes my life la. now i haf a solid reson for suicide.

*************

ESLS assignment isn't going well. but thats my fault. Math is ok. i feel i contributed quite a lot in terms of ideas and the running of things. but maybe not that much too. hmm.

anyway, i got back today and started watching tv and guess who i saw performing with Carlos Santana this time? Chad Kroeger! but thats not the shocking part at all. the part i found amazing was that Chad had left his curly locks behind and gone for straight hair! he looked sooooo different! looked pretty good too if i must say. hmmmm..... maybe i........ heh. haha. (ps. for those who dunno who's Chad, he is the lead singer for band Nickelback). Oh yeah the song was good too. i liked it. so with nothing much else to post, i'll leave u with a video. =D

We were spinning in circles
with the moon in our eyes
No room left to move
in between you and I
We forgot where we were
and we lost track of time
And we sang to the wind
as we danced through the night

Chad Kroeger

Currently Listening To: Into The Night - Carlos Santana feat. Chad Kroeger

Challenge

this is gonna be one heck of a challenge. seriously. cuz right now i'm sort of resisting. i think. but its also for the best and also to see how things go. well, if u can do it so can i right? i'll take u up on ur challenge k. hoefully it all goes well and makes me better after all this.

but what if i need to break the challenge? how shud i know when to do it? i don't want to make things worse. knowing you-know-who, some really bad stuff can happen cuz of who they are. i'm scared at the same time.

but its not my battle. i shudn fight.

leave it ben. jus freaking leave it!

Currently Listening To: Here Is Gone - Goo Goo Dolls

Louder Now

Taking Back Sunday

Because this album has awesoe songs to quote by. U'll see why.

Looked so close, it's been months, who knows if I,
Will get this right. 

Whats It Feel Like To Be A Ghost?

All our secrets they are tailored trouble.

*********
Liar. (Liar.)

Liar (It Takes One To Know One)

You've got this new head filled up with smoke.

*********
You are everything I want.
'Cause you are everything I'm not.

*********
I just wanna break you down so badly.
Well I trip over everything you say.
I just wanna break you down so badly.
In the worst way.

MakeDamnSure

So this is what we're up against?
So this is what we're up against?

Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.
Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.

Regrets always work.
Excuses are better.
A practical exchange,
Or a trade for the truth.
But you know it never held up. (But you know it never held up.)
Pretend that it still could now.

Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting.
And every minute is a minute away.
Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.

We're turning our clocks back.
Just never ourselves.
So go with the flow,
Just relax. (Just relax.)
You never feel the jet lag,
Unless you're trying to fit in.

Face it.
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.
Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,
And every minute is a minute away.
(Every minute is a minute away.)

Less is more except,
When it comes to mistakes.
How long is long?
That depends,
How long it takes.

Less is more except,  (How long?)
When it comes to mistakes. (How long?)
How long is long? (How long?)
That depends,  (How long?)
How long it takes.

Not years, not months ,
Not days, your blackout memory.
Not years, not months,
Not days, your blackout memory.

Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting.
And every minute is a minute away.
Face it,
This is what we're up, up against.
You're waiting,

And every minute is a minute away.
(Every minute is a minute away.)
Every minute is a minute.
And a minute and a minute away.

Up Against (Blackout)

Dull heat rises from the sheets.
I'm both a patient boy,
Well, and a jealous man. ( Am I coming? )
But double standardized suspicion,
Is remedied, oh, my blue heaven,
Sometimes, it just feels better to give in.
( Sometimes, it just feels better to give in. )

And it's all too familiar,
And it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine,
Little pieces that avoid an awful crime,
But it's you I can't deny.
( You I can't deny. ) 

My Blue Heaven

The view from this side's not what,
I thought it'd be.
Promise something different. 

*********

I do, I don't need you like you think...
I do, I don't, I don't need you like you think...
I do, I don't, I don't need you like you think...
I do, you don't, you just don't... leave me alone.

Twenty-Twenty Surgery

That look was priceless, don't let me get carried away.
I've seen it before, and it still suits you the same.

*********
You had your chance! (You had your chance!)
Open arms reject assuming hands. (Arms reject assuming hands.) 

Spin

Despondent, distracted,
You're vicious and romantic;
These are a few of my favorite things.
All of those flavors and,
This is what you choose:
Past the blues, past the blues,
And on to something new.

*********
So if you're calling me out,
Then count me out.

Divine Intervention

The whole truth,
And nothing but the truth.
Stop me if you've heard this one before.
The whole truth, (The whole truth.)
Is nothing but a good excuse, (Good excuse.)
"So as long as you don't torture me with my past. "
Let's be honest; a secret silenced,
Is a secret safe. 

*********
The terror held in wedding bells.
The comfort in, "There's no one else. "
The truth be told I'm never gonna know.

Miami

But would you do it again, again?
And count backwards from ten.
(Look I don't make those mistakes no more.)
Sometimes I swear  I can see straight through you.

Just concentrate, control.
But would you do it again?

We can't go back.
Can't go back.
Can't go back, we can't...
We can't go back.
Can't go back.
Can't go back, we can't...

Error: Operator

I've come to expect, the standards you have set.

*********
Closer that I look is just,
The further that you get.
Already, stubborn skin thickens, an attempt to understand.
(Understand.)
*********
I know it's not what you deserve.
(It's not what you deserve.)

I'll Let You Live

some relate don't it.

if i had cash i would so buy this album.

Currently Listening To: Spin - Taking Back Sunday

The Seven Things Tag

Seven things to be done before my death.
1. Form a band and play on stage
2. perform solo maybe?
3. find someone who will last
4. buy a Gibson Les Paul
5. go for another rock concert
6. grow my hair long and dye it
7. learn to play a love song

Seven things I will NOT do even if it kills me.
1. deny being a christian
2. give up music
3. have sex with anyone who isn't my wife
4. smash my guitar into the ground
5. forgive anyone who causes the ppl i love harm
6. waste money
7. say that it's all ok and mean it.

Seven things I do when I'm away from the public.
1. Sing
2. play with my hair
3. be emo
4. day dream
5. jump around my room while playing guitar
6. toilet stuff la of course
7. uh, play guitar? haha.

Seven fav sentences/quotes.
1. Holy Crap
2. ok thats just crap
3. What The Crap
4. Shit
5. Biar ah
6. yaaa suuurreee....
7. niiiiccceeee....

Seven favourite songs from all time
1. Cute Without The 'E' (Cut From The Team) - Taking Back Sunday
2. Here Is Gone - Goo Goo Dolls
3. Spin - Taking Back Sunday
4. Here's Your Letter - blink-182
5. All Day - Hillsong United
6. Shinobi Vs. Dragon Ninja - Lostprophets
7. Minority - Green Day

Seven things I'll make you wish you didn't do if you did.
1. cause me to hate you
2. destroy my guitar
3. destroy my music collection
4. treat me like crap
5. hurt my friends
6. insult my religion
7. lie to me n make me believe in smth that is important to me

Seven people to tag.
1. Joel
2. Jin
3. Grace
4. Michelle
5. Eujeen
6. Julian
7. cant think of any other names di. haha.

Dumbstruck
Colour me stupid
Good luck
You're gonna need it
Where I'm going if I get there...
At all....

Green Day

Currently Listening To: Waiting - Green Day

Puasa!

heh. yes its true. i puasa-ed. haha. n no its not cuz i'm turning into a Muslim or trying to impress some girl or anything like that. haha. it was jus out of curiosity's sake that i tried it. yea only one day. n let me tell u. it wasn't easy k. imagine having no food or water for 14 hours. k maybe not that. imagine having food and water but NOT EATING it for 14 hours. its damn torturous to your stomach. esp from the time after lucnh. thats when your stomach starts grumbling and saying "eh moron! go eat la u!".

so yea. i woke up at 5 smth to eat then went back to sleep at abt 5.30. then went through the whole day without eating til 7.30. yea buka puasa time was actually at 7.15 but my fren forgot to tell me so i had to wait til i got confirmation from him. which came 15 minutes later. =_= oh well, my tomach got used to the pain by then. haha. n dinner tasted soooo good. ok maybe not la. haha!

anyway, i jus wanna say i'm damn bangga that i managed to last. eventho it may not be much la. respect my Muslim frens who do it everyday. haha!

oooo and this week i also came into a large amount of money. =D

RM1110.00 to be exact. dun believe u go count la the money there. haha!

this week was a week of ups and downs for sure. i'm talking abt my marks. haha. mt math test went horrible i blieve. i found it sooo tough and its like everything went absolutely wrong. haih.
but i got back my Spec Math and my Chem marks which were i would say totally awesome. i got 90 for Spec Math which was amazing cuz i nvr even dreamt of getting a high B. n for Chem i got my first A which was 84. so yea. i'm kinda overjoyed. altho there were some really stupid mistakes......

i officially declare noone dumber than me.

i realise this week that its always better to get invited to anything. for anything at all. like to dinner, to hang out, to take a ride, to go have fun etc. cuz it shows that the person actually wants you there. the person enjoys your company. plus not only it wud be weird to invite urself, it wud be worse if u weren't supposed to invite urself. cept maybe for the car ride if the persons car was full la. but it's always a great feeling to be invited. like youre wanted. =)

i've been walking around Intec with my jacket and cap and i'm sure there are tons of ppl who are saying that i'm prob poser cuz it aint that cold and i'm wearing a jacket and i'm trying to look cool by dressing up like that. but hey. i jus stopped caring. i wear my jacket not cuz i want to look cool. it IS cold in my class plus i really love my jacket a lot that i'd rather not jus leave it in my class. and i wear my cap cuz my hair long and i'm jus too lazy to bother to try combing it. so if i'm a poser to you, fine by me. cuz i know who i am. ure just annoying thats all. =)

haih. n the days draw closer to when i leave. had a briefing abt the visa application and all today and i realise i've got like tons to do. passport, photo, letter of good conduct etc. man i feel so packed. plus with the added assignments. thank God i managed to finish my Moral yest. haih. stressness.

******************

compared to how you make me feel, this felt good. =)

i really dunno where to go. i look back and i see this is not the way i want to go. this is not the way i SHOULD go. its jus wrong. but what the hell am i doing here? y do i keep waiting for you to change when we both know nothing will happen. we know your attitude is the give-up easy and take the road of best enjoyment. and that road doesn't have me, so y am i changing for you? y do i tell myself i need to change for you? you know you will never do the same. i shud stop changing from here onwards.

it's funny. i was talking to a fren the other day and we both agreed that its not fair to ask someone to change who they are. and she gave an example that like how it wud be not fair for someone to ask me to give up playing guitar cuz it is and will always be a huge part of me. it would be like giving up half my life. i might as well just lie in a coma.

but then i thought back. i did give up guitar for you. so that i could save a seat for you cuz u were tired of saving a seat for me. but u r the one who made me play again.

i cant believe i gave up guitar. or at least wanted to for a reason like that.

love is really makes u do stupid things.

You had your chance!
(You had your chance!)

Taking Back Sunday

ps.: no the pic isn't real. jus posing dun worry lauren.
ps 2.: (Thanks Jin. The song rocks =) )

Currently Listening To: When I Get Home, You're So Dead - Mayday Parade