Why Am I Worrying About The Money?

k my mom is like "Go for the ski trip. nvm that it's expensive. these once in a while things must try"

and then she was also like "So after we visit you, you come back with us la"

and i'm like "What the. Money doesn't grow on trees la ok!"

haha. so weird right? normally it's the other way around. but yeah. dunno la. my parents want me to go back with them at the end of the year all. but pppssshhhh. no way la. what crap 4k to come back. so many reasons to come back. but got reasons to not come back as well. mostly people i don't intend on seeing ever again and also the hot weather.

but anyway. ya. i think mostly cause i don't wanna spend my money. cuz right now, since coming to NZ, i'm surviving on my own money a.k.a JPA la. eh actually ah, my ticket back home last year also i paid myself. plus the camera i bought also is my own money.

yeah, so i guess i know my parents want me to come back means that i'll be spending their money. which i seriously hate doing i guess.

why? i think i figured it out. it's cause i absolutely hate asking people for help. seriously. in anything i do. i prefer doing it myself. why? i just don't like bothering people i guess. i mean, they sure got better things to do. plus if i can do it myself, i'll do it. plus i don't like asking for help from people who don't really wanna help right? so yeah. if they offer fine. if not, i'd rather not. i think sometimes if they offer also i prefer not to.

another reason i like staying in NZ. i feel so independent. it's like how it'll be when i'm working. so it's like a glimpse of my independent future. pretty cool. what'll be cooler if i can survive 4 years here without relying on my parents. then i guess for the future i should be okay. i hope at least. haha.

so maybe that's why i'm kinda protective about money. cuz it's mine that i'm using and not my parents. they've got tons to worry about already. i don't need them adding me to their list thank you very much. haha.




BUT right, all this talk about going home at the end of the year makes me wonder........ hmmmmm......

Currently Listening To: Carousel - Linkin Park

Note-To-Self: Things To Do After Exams (Update 1)

Update:

1. record new vid
2. check website to choose equipment to rent
3. play around with photoshop
4. go watch Terminator (prob get it from the hub la)
5. watch Transformers tmrw
6. reply emails
7. reply facebook walls
8. reply facebook msgs
9. plan? for road trip
10. play Prototype
11. defrag comp
12. band prac for TN?
13. learn up sound stuff for TN
14. update CMSA website (already currently confused with the layout and stuff)
15. Flat Ground Ollie on flat ground
16. RELAX TIL I CAN DIE (prob not ever gonna happen)
17. Do all the TN stuff.
18. Buy new skateboard
19. UCSSS band prac
20. Learn songs for TN
21. Buy speakers!



wah so the list grows longer as i cross things out. great.

and really la. i think they really expect me to learn one song i've never heard before with the solo and all in less than a day. craps. good thing i can do it. well, we'll see how it goes during band prac tmrw.

and really la. i keep getting asked to play for ppl who want to play pop songs. and the more i play the pop songs, the more i realise i like it. haha. i mean cuz it's easy la. so it's fun. so it feels like i shall just end up being one of those guitarist people hire to play for pop stars. lol. i don't mind actually. those songs are actually fun cuz it's easy. haha.

Future Pop Star Guitarist? not bad. better than nothing i guess. haha.

Currently Listening To: Love Story - Taylor Swift

This Guy Makes Me Want To Learn Piano/Keyboard

The Rocket Summer. AWESOME band. i dunno why, but i listen to his songs, and the piano in it is awesome. like really. plus the way he sings his songs u can like so totally feel like he is REALLY feeling the song. like putting every emotion into the song. that makes you love and feel the song even more.

he really makes me want to learn piano man. seriously. so awesome.

Currently Listening To: Save - The Rocket Summer

Taking Back Sunday Contest!!

so right, Taking Back Sunday is having a contest. which is to play a song from their new album. so right, i need you guys help. cuz it's based on how many views and also ratings, i would like if you guys could just view the vid and rate. and i don't expect you guys to give like good ratings and all. just rate based on what you think la. cheers! man this is exciting! :D




Currently Listening To: Punk Rock Princess - Something Corporate

It's Time To Buy A PS3

because right, after playing a bit of Prototype, i realise i don't like it being laggy and hangy. so i realise, i should just buy a PS3 and enjoy. :)

well so far i've got 4 reasons to get one





:)

on a side note. Prototype is SO FREAKING COOL MAN. my hero Altair also loses to him. i wonder how Ezio will match up. the game trailer makes him look awesomeness. we'll see la.


sry. don't mind the gamer talk. :) i just love games. 13 games installed and counting. :)

Currently Listening To: Timberwolves at New Jersey - Taking Back Sunday

Honestly Never Thought It Would Happen

the unthinkable happened.


my skateboard board actually broke. like for real. that wood piece actually broke. how? i also dunno. i thought it should be able to withstand stuff. lol. lameeee.

but i found it real interesting and amusing that it did break. really. i dunno why. haha. here's pics anyway. smth the blog has been missing for a while.







oh and there's two good things that came out of this. i get to finally dismantle my board and see what's it like inside of the tyres and check out the bearing.


the bearings are really lame btw.



the other good side is that now i get to buy a new board! :D which i've been wanting to since the one i had was kinda lame and i don't even know if it was meant to do tricks. "so now i've learnt my lesson and shall not spend too little on a board." - quote of the year. :P

wheeee hols and shopping time!

Currently Listening To: Lifeline - Brooke Fraser

Note-To-Self: Things To Do After Exams

1. record new vid
2. check website to choose equipment to rent
3. play around with photoshop
4. go watch Terminator (hopefully tonight)
5. watch Transformers tmrw
6. reply emails
7. reply facebook walls
8. reply facebook msgs
9. plan? for road trip
10. play Prototype
11. defrag comp
12. band prac for TN?
13. learn up sound stuff for TN
14. update CMSA website (already currently confused with the layout and stuff)
15. Flat Ground Ollie on flat ground
16. RELAX TIL I CAN DIE

who said my holidays are free? :P

STILL ON A BOAT! THE BOAT ENGINE MAKE NOISE!

Currently Listening To: I'm On A Boat - The Lonely Island (ft T.Pain)

Wow, For A Loser, I'm Pretty Happy. :)

haha. u know right, in my immediate family, i'm like probably the most useless one. like really. we'll start from the top la k.

so my Dad is like pretty much great. i mean the person he is and esp his career and how good his career is and has been for him. i mean, if it's possible, i'd sure wanna be like him man. seriously. but somehow, i feel i'm too lazy for that so yeah. i guess if u knew who my dad you would prob understand why i'm saying he's awesome la.

anyway, then on to my Mom. my mom is also another awesome. Can cook awesome, can do gardening and landscaping and house planning and all. i mean the kitchen in my house is like desgined by my mom. and i think it looks gr8. how cool is that to desgin something and for it to come out gr8. plus i'm pretty sure she's like a pretty awesome teacher in her school. (well i don't know for sure cuz i wasn't in the school for obvious reasons. haha). plus she can play netball and she's like pro in it. i think the school team has been winning or won some championship or smth. so yeah. my mom's awesome.

then there's my elder sister. wow. dunno what to say la. she's officially a dentist. which i'm pretty sure mostly ppl know it aint easy to do anything to do with bio. other than that, she's beautiful also. plus, she's atheletic too. i mean seriously, check out all the medals she has won:

k probably doesn't seem like much la. but some are overlapping. i think. so let's sum it up, beautiful, smart & atheletic. i think that equates to awesomeness.

then there's the younger sis. who is also awesome (but i won't admit. i hope she's not reading this :P) she's like prob the most hardworking of all the siblings. and this is clearly shown by all the good grades she achieves. and all the medals and stuff she recieves for it:

brilliant kid. plus, she can play guitar too. and she plays for like events and stuff i think. well i know she's played for one la so far with her friends. at her age, i nvr did such things. and now i find out she's writing for NST. weekly. how cool is that? oh plus, i think she has medals for MSSD tennis as well. oh yeah, apparently she's in the church choir too. so now she can sing too. haha. oh and she's super lame. worse than me. which adds on to her awesomeness to me la. haha. so a.k.a yet another awesome in the family.

well of course then there's me. who doesn't have as many medals of sports or education as my other two siblings. i pretty much got nothing. all i can do is play guitar and play games. both haven't brought me anything awesome. it's like anything i can do, there are tons of ppl who can do it better. so nothing special. so to sum me up, i'm like the loser in the family of awesome. the black sheep (the saying, not cuz i'm relatively dark (to my fairer friends) skinned n in NZ. lols).

but funnily enough, eventhough i'm the loser, i feel fine. i don't know why. i feel i'm ok with my life. happy too. but if i could, i'd definitely wanna be as awesome as my family one day. somehow. then that'd be perfect. :)

for now til then, i'll just settle being the pretty happy loser. :)

Currently Listening To: I'M ON A BOAT - The Lonely Island ft T. Pain

Rich Beyond Words

you know some people are filthy rich when a girl who has not even left school, heck i don't even know if she's done PMR, is getting a MacBook AND an iPhone.

this is a short post because i'm speechless.

*update - i found out she's 13. now i even more got nth to say. err right.*

Currently Listening To: You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban

That's What You Get

when you let your heart win?

haha no la. doesn't fit what i'm gonna talk about.

well seriously, when you think about it, it makes sense. if u act like a donkey, and treat everyone badly, then when noone cares about you, why act so surprised?

i mean, to you, you are never the one who is wrong right? always other people. but even that aside, seriously, how does one treat other people like crap and then expect for those people to treat you nice? don't get it.

maybe i should also remind myself not to expect things from people i don't like a.k.a don't treat so nice. but i guess i don't expect from them since i mmg don't want to have anything to do with them in the first place. so i guess i don't treat them bad at all. i just don't bother treating them at all. well it makes sense doesn't it, why waste evergy treating someone bad when u can not bother about them on a whole already? haha.

and wah, my first time meeting someone who feels proud about acting like an idiot. like goes out of the way to look bad/stupid/like a moron. win. and u know u've made it as a jerk when ppl you don't even know don't like you b4 meeting you. your reputation clearly precedes you. but i guess that's what u want right?

so yeah, that's what you get when u act like an idiot i guess. i know i'm gonna sound like some evil lover with the next sentence but whatever la. anyway, watching bad things happen to idiots in my life make me happy. :) cuz hey, you worked so hard to deserve it. :) so congratulations. :) you just got what you deserve. :)

the only bad side about this is that these people i don't like, i don't spend time knowing what's happening to them. k i basically have no idea what's going on with them at all. like seriously now that i think of it. wow. haha. so i guess i dunno if they're having any good or bads. so i guess i can't celebrate. darn.

oh well, not worth my time anyway. but i guess ure worth it enough for me to blog about and say congratulations for getting what you deserve. well, at least you're worth something la ok. so u don't have to be emo and kill yourself now. man i just saved ur life. cool. haha.


what rubbish la i'm talking now. hahaha. ok ok i shud go sleep. i think one fan from cooler is dying. and it's the fan that actually does smth. sheesh.

and why is it always when exams come i tend to play games? i finished Crysis and Assassin's Creed again. cuz i got nth better to do. and i'm planning of getting a PS3 just to play Assassin's Creed 2 and Modern Warfare 2. like why not? hahahahah

k i'm clearly crazy. YAY EXAMS!

on a side note. i'm going to die for my next two exams. yeay? ahh crap. i need to learn not to expect exams based on what other people say. cuz people are different. if u ask someone who studies a lot, they are going to say oh it's easy. and if u ask someone who hardly studies at all, they'll say it's freaking tough. and what if ure in between? jam. dunno how hard to study. so i'm just gonna study as much as i think i should. and enough la of course.



and this post. hmm. if you think it's about you, then it's about you. if you think it's not about you, go find someway to fit it into your life and then it's about you. i think this is what i meant to say for the other post as well. so basically, it's for everyone. yeay! YOU are included too. don't you feel happy to finally have a post about you?? lol


EH GO SLEEP LA U.

KTHXBYE. :D

Currently Listening To: All I Need Is You - Hillsong United

Of, Huh What?

*if ure reading this post to understand it, don't bother.

k first of all, i would like to say WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON?

cuz seriously, now i'm just curious. i was curious at first. then after another one came up, i'm even more. what the hell could have happened that is so bad. i'm like getting tons of ideas of what cud have happened. hmmm.


and seriously right, it's not rape if you gave consent to it. so don't call it that and don't treat it like that. and don't say you were used, cuz all the rules and intentions were laid and you knew full well. if u feel hurt, suck it up, u brought it on yourself. it's nothing to do with me anymore.


and for someone else, i don't see any right for you to be angry with her. she didn't want, you wanted. she tried, but still felt nothing. so what, you want it to be forced? wtf? so don't be angry for that.


who is this for? trust when you read and feel you can apply to your life, then it's you.

Currently Listening To: Crushcrushcrush (Live) - Paramore

This Time I MAY Be Being Perasan

argh. i don't get it.

why does it seem like the things i do that people don't normally do, are the things that annoying people in my life decide to follow?

i'm pretty sure those who know me know who i'm talking about.

i mean come on, that is was my thing! i'm like probably the only one you may know who's doing it!

now these people wanna come along and do the same. ugh. come on la. FIND YOUR OWN THING TO DO. stop leeching off me.

the worst is some people who like literally FOLLOW me. i do something, then they must do it also. i stop, they suddenly stop.

and then when u ask them why they're doing it, they give some lame excuse they choose to believe.

and the worst part is, why is it always the obnoxious and annoying people who have to do it. gosh that makes things worse.

i guess in some way, maybe i don't want competition, maybe someone will do those things better?

maybe i just like those things to define me. maybe i would want those things to relate to just me. like if ppl said (for example) music, and they'd think of me str8. i'd hate for them to think of those ppl who copied me. that's so pissing off.

what's worse is, somehow these people have a seemingly unending cashflow. so they can buy buy buy and get all the good stuff without thinking twice. i mean, it's not my fault that i eat a lot and have to spend money buying food instead on the stuff i would like to buy.

haih. i dunno what to do la. maybe i should be honoured cause they're choosing to be like me. ahh who cares about honour. i just want ME and that's it. don't steal the stuff that makes me ME away.


FIND YOUR OWN FREAKING LIFE AND STOP COPYING MINE.


pathetic losers.

Currently Listening To: The Small Print - Muse

Jo Rocks. Fullstop

seriously, thx la Jo. din expect that at all. haha. but thx so much for the trying to help me win and all and especially the encouragement. really encouraged with your post wei. haha. no wonder you're Jo the Pro. you're the best la. haha. thx! don't think i know anyone else who would do such a thing for me. cool la you. :D

in case ure wondering what i'm talking about, click here.


k honestly, i'm not expecting much from the contest la. my vid is really nothing special. i made it like a few hours after the song was released on iTunes a month ago. so it's like not perfect and all. kinda rushed through it. and considering it's exam time, i don't have to fix it and add in special stuff. so it's just me playing guitar. nth gr8 i guess. wanna see awesome stuff? check these two vids out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJXBwJxgVCQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXAK-42R0yQ

these two are the best and what i like so far. if anyone deserves to win. it's these two guys. and actually, i don't mind not winning. i'm in it for the experience and to get reviews on my playing actually (and i do think i played perfectly, otherwise i won't be posting the vid. haha). plus the prizes are ok i guess. the prize btw, is a phone call with the band (which in my case i dunno if it's good or bad, since i REALLY don't do phone calls. i mean i don't even know what to say!) and also a limited edition car kit. and considering i don't have a car now, isn't really very useful. BUT, it's just fun to join so why not.

oh and one thing i realised is how AMAZINGLY encouraging. i mean, think about it, this is someone you don't know a.k.a a stranger. and here he is telling you you're good and telling you how to be better. and when you tell him that you're not that good and can't sing and all. he encourages you even MORE. telling you not to give up and not to compare and all. and basically there i went too amazed to respond. cuz seriously, this guy doesn't even know you! but here he is telling you that you can do it. heck, some friends don't even encourage. and a stranger can do it.

which got me thinking, maybe we don't like encouraging friends or telling them they did good or was awesome. maybe somehow we feel that if we do that, we're acknowledging that they are better than us, and heck we sure don't like people being better than us. or maybe it's just the way we've been brought up that makes us not give out healthy encouraging words. maybe we don't like seeing other people succeed. i guess it's all just a mix of jealousy and selfishness.

but then again, sometimes when people actually do give out good comments, we doubt it. like we wonder if they really do mean it or they are just saying it cuz they are our friends. i know of someone who tries so hard to be a nice guy it has become so fake. why? imagine someone who comes walking into your flat when you're cooking and says "oh the food smells good ben". he does this everytime, but when one day he comes in and says the exact same thing and you HAVEN'T started cooking, you know that it's fake. cuz seriously, how can the food smell good if i HAVEN'T started cooking??

so i guess sometimes it's easier to accept compliments from strangers as well. cause they have no reason to compliment and encourage someone they don't know right? so you know it's sincere. and i guess with friends, you kinda expect something good but at the same time, if you do get something good, you doubt whether it's sincere or they are just saying it cause they're your friends.

confusing right? i mean, to encourage would be wrong (cuz it may seem insincere) and to not would be wrong as well (cuz friends should encourage each other right?). so either way is wrong. gr8.

so i guess we should all just be strangers. it's easier to accept. :)

aaaah crap. i think the exam stress is getting to me. well something to think about i guess. sorry if you here to destress and ended up more stress thinking about this. haha.



Currently Listening To: Hearts Burst Into Fire - Bullet for My Valentine

Oh The Lyrics Are Finally Here

thankfully, some people have bought the album of Taking Back Sunday and have posted up the lyrics. now i can finally post the lyrics to the song i've been obsessing for the past few weeks. damn pro song. but i think i'm moving away from the song, so i might as well post it while the feeling is still there. also respects to the person who tabs this song. took me a whole good hour to try and figure that solo-ish bit at the start. and i don't think i've got it perfect yet. crazy stuff. the chords are easy tho.

Swing

Open the gate to your apartment complex,
Your not getting off that easily.
I climb the fence,
The one that you've been sitting on.
(How long)
Before I'm just a memory,
(How long)
Before you can't remember me,
(How long?)Remember me.

I never had a choice
I never had a choice
To lead the choke homodyne
Round that to his doorway
I couldn't find the box to fix
The restless nagging in my brain
(How long?)
Before I'm just a memory,
(How long?)
Before you can't remember me,
(How long?)Remember me.

Lover, lover, on the fence
Bat your eyes, ball a fist
And swing (swing) swing (swing)
Before you leave
Lover, lover, tell me this
Passion over consequence,
When did the latter take the lead?
Just swing...
Just swing, (swing), swing, (swing), swing...

I never had a choice,
I never had a choice,
The evening lit itself
And watched my reservations fall to the floor
Fall to the floor
Now sing with me
(How long?)
Before I'm just a memory
(How long?)
Before you can't remember me,
(How long?)Remember me.

Lover, lover, on the fence
Bat your eyes, ball a fist
And swing (swing) swing (swing)
Before you leave
Lover, lover, tell me this
Passion over consequence,
When did the latter take the lead?
Just swing...

Open the gate to your apartment complex
Did you forget love, your who called for me?
(Did you forget, did you forget?)
How long did you expect to keep me waiting?
How long before I'm just a memory?

Lover, lover, on the fence
Bat your eyes, ball a fist
And swing (swing) swing (swing)
Before you leave
Lover, lover, tell me this
Put passion over consequence,
Since when did the latter take the lead?
Just swing...
Swing, (swing), swing, (swing), swing, (swing)
Just swing, swing, swing...
Just swing...

Taking Back Sunday

oh and on another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM!!!! wow public wishing somemore. looks like i don't need to get u a present for next year also di now. haha.

annnddd. i need to force myself to wake up early and sleep early as well. if not i'm gonna be wasting my whole morning. ugh. now i gotta get ready and then go to uni to study. haih. i don't like this coming exam. way too much to study. my own fault. :( k ciao

Currently Listening To: Swing - Taking Back Sunday

You Rate La How Accurate

Currently Listening To: New Born - Muse

But You've Got Me All Wrong

"look it's not like you're perfect okay."


-"well, i never said i was.


all i was saying is that i'm better than you. :)"



Currently Listening To: You Got Me All Wrong - Dios Malos

Let's Recap

the way i dress: pretty much the same

the music i like: still about the same

songs i like to learn on the guitar: still the same

my actions/reactions: yeap still the same

my attitude: mostly still the same

my gangster-ish-ness: still there if the need calls for it.




pretty much every single thing about me has remained the same. the only thing that has changed is my looks. and that instantly changed my status from being a nerd to being a rocker/"cool" guy/gangster. was i not the same before i changed how i look? i just didn't have the face to suit the part i guess. clearly shows how ppl judge by the looks.

and that's why looks are so important to all of you. and don't say you look on the inside instead of the outside. cause i know you don't.

n nopes, i'm not mad or angry or anything. just pointing out a fact which i believe most ppl would not like to accept.

Currently Listening To: Gasolina - Daddy Yankee

No Reason To Post But I Felt Like It

it still bugs me that question she asked once.

"Does she know......"

hmmmm. nah. i don't see any possible way.

**********************

possibly the only time i was actually truthful about what i'm doing, what i'm doing, and what i have done, was with those 6(7) people. none of which i would consider myself as to being remotely close personally to. and it's like what's going on in my head. which i've never actually let out fully.

**********************

i realised that eventhough i can keep other people's secrets really well as if i've never known them, i just can't keep myself shut about my secrets. well i guess it's not secrets, but more like things normal people wouldn't tell other people.

there's just something about me that tells these things.

of course, thankfully, i know how to control what i say. i haven't become like a hole in a bag of sand that lets everything out. for my own good.



and i realise that's why i have a blog. to somewhat let things out. cuz i don't like keeping things in me. i guess like this post too. just smth i need to let out. i think it's some disorder..... hmmmm...

Currently Listening To: Summer Man - Taking Back Sunday

Sometimes Your Rules Work For Me Too

isn't it simple? if you can't and don't like being disturbed when ure doing something a.k.a gaming, i'm pretty sure it goes unsaid that you shouldn't disturb others while they are gaming right?

that's why i didn't bug you and let you take ur time to do stuff. but if it's not done, then i have something to bug you about.

and yes, the same goes for me. i shall not complain if i said i'll do smth and i haven't done it yet and you start complaining.

i think that's pretty fair isn't it?

Currently Listening To: RA3 Soviet March - Frank Klepacki