If You Were Your Own Friend

have you thought abt it? what if you, were ur own friend?

get me? and nooo not like hey i'm already my own friend since i'm myself or smth like that. no no no.

imagine there was someone else in this world, who has the exact same personality as you. and yes i do mean exactly the same. don't give me crap about that's not possible or whatever. i said IMAGINE.

so anyway, what if this person who is exactly the same as u, was your friend. hmm

would you like the way he treated you as a friend? or would you have problems with him?

well, if u wud have problems with him, then well, that means you have problems with you right? hmm.

think abt it.
Currently Listening To: Sacrifice To The Gods - King Julien

Which Would You Chose?

which choice would you make?

to get what's fair? or to get what makes you happy?

well, actually not happy. but sorta happy?

but maybe the fairness will bring happiness?

and the happiness may not last.

but the short happiness? hmm



damn la. why does life have to be so hard?

and all this losing at poker isn't helping at all. babi la.

haih. at times like this, i don't like being home.

it's jus so emo-fying. hmm.

i guess that's why i'm glad for the moments i'm busy here.

don't have to worry abt things if ure busy.

Currently Listening To: Soft Skeletons - Anberlin

Kespecialnessan

funny how ppl expect you to treat them special and do all these things for you.

but nope. they will nvr do the same for you.

and i always seem to be the one taken advantage of cuz i'm the "nice" guy.

so seriously?

i'm not gonna give you what you won't give me.

fuck you guys. :)

(yes i do mean you. if you think it's not you, then if definitely is you.)

Currently Listening To: House Of Wolves - My Chemical Romance

You Want It? Come And Get It

honestly, i'm not the guy who goes around and tells ppl stuff.

prob why a lot of ppl telling me secrets and stuff too.

it's just how i'm built i guess.

however, i'm not a complete silent box.

if u wanna know something, ask me. and there's a high chance i will tell.

and yes, somehow, personal things also apply to this criteria.

so pardon me for not telling.

Currently Listening To: Clocks/All Day - Youth Alive

Jeremy Davis of Paramore

this guy got skills weiii.. seriously. i thought what he did in the Pressure vid was just an act since like all music videos are sort of just acts. but then since i watched the DVD of The Final Riot Jesh got me for Christmas, i was shown to be wrong. the guy damn pro man. seriously. cuz he does it live. this is a must watch vid! seriously. esp for all musicians!




Currently Listening To: Born For This - Paramore

Games I've Played This Year

i think i've done justice to my gaming laptop. and i'm proud of myself. so here's what i've finished playing this year. the only ones i didn't finish is Far Cry 2 and Fallout. basically cuz both were extremely boring. and Race Driver: GRID also didn't finish. too hard for me. =/

k that's all. one end of the year update done. :)

Currently Listening To: Hope For Every Fallen Man [Acoustic] - Relient K

Youth Camp

okayyyy. so yes there's been a lack of updates. well, surprisingly enough, i've actually been busy the few weeks i've been home, day AND night as well. like really busy with stuff. tho i've had time to come online, no time to blog. and currently since it's the day after Christmas and it's in the morning i'm kinda relaxed now (for now la. from afternoon onwards busy til night di. haha), so i thought might as well blog.

so first off youth camp. k i dun really feel like talking abt all the stuff that went on in camp la. it's kinda boring for me to do so and i'm kinda hoping someone else wud do it. haha. but to me, i really enjoyed this camp. like a lot. and like the whole time there i was trying to figure out why. then when i came back, Uncle Ravi sorta pointed it out. u know why i enjoyed myself? simply because i didn't have any responsibilities. yeah. that was the simple reason.

i wasn't part of the committee, i wasn't a group leader, i wasn't in charge of the room and i wasn't in charge of my sis also (but she's grown up and can take care of herself anyway. haha) but yea la. i had nth to worry abt. and that's like the way i liked it i guess. it's jus peaceful u know, like not worrying abt anything can go and lepak and do stuff u want during free time. the only thing i was bound to was worship practices and stuff. which was kinda bad cuz it ate up my free time and also my meal times. but yeah. still i was FREE! i was finally a camper relaxing and enjoying. it sorta reminded me of 2004 YC where i didn't have anything either and cud relax as well. well that time not fully relax la since i had other stuff and worship prac as well. but yea. smth like that.

other than the relax times i also got to meet new seriously damn cool ppl. ppl like Jervis, Sai, Joyce, Alisha. seriously cool stuff. and got to know ppl better too. and my team was like Cekap la! Ju-Hann was the leader of Intersection. and we almost won. and actually cud've won if any of us decided to hand in our book. but that's the thing u know, even if we didn't win, it didn't seem to matter, i still had fun with my team and doin all the stuffs with my team and all. it's no doubt la that my team was the best even if we didn't win. i love my team man. prob another reason why i enjoyed YC.

this feels like a commentary for some reason. ish. anyway, camp was cool also cuz i managed to lepak with the ppl i dun normally lepak with. like all u know la, not my gang sorta ppl. i even sat with Euodia and Mel at that emo bench and jus lepak and talked that one night. it was cool. plus both of them are damn funny and can really make u laugh. and also got other ppl as well la, can't really remember who and stuff but yeah la. i liked YC cuz of the lepaking with others and all.

yeah. that's abt it that i wanna say la. i seriously enjoyed myself. it's definitely the ppl la. and the stuff we did. :) oh and my angel was damn cool. he said he nvr gave me anything cuz he didn't have the time, but i got three things "from him". haha! cekap la. haha.

oh and the camp site was super nice and cekap also. shud go again next year. unfortunately i dun have any photos yet since luke has to stll edit some photos and Euodia can't find her usb cable and dunno what else. but anyway, some are up on FB. so check it out there. :)

sry Jo if there's not much explanation abt the camp. jus felt like talking abt me and camp. haha.

Currently Listening To: S.O.S - Rihanna

Did You See It?

so did you see it?

did you see nothing is what it seems?

or did you just accept whatever you saw?

some things seems simple but are far from it.

and sometimes you're looking at it from the wrong perspective. or wrong point of view.

so, now what did you see?

hmm.

But nothing's as it seems

Escape The Fate

Currently Listening To: Breakin' - The All-American Rejects

The Lie That Was For Your Own Good

so please understand. it was for your own good.

i didn't tell you guys for a reason.

so that if anyone were to ask you, you wouldn't have to lie.

that's all.

sry but it had to be a secret and it still has to be.

Currently Listening To: Sic Transit Gloria.... Gloria Fades - Brand New

Expect Disappointment

i just feel so numb.

i dunno. i guess when i read what i read, i didn't expect to hear that. maybe i expected something more... of higher values? hmm.

i dunno. it's just disappointment. it seems like i'm trying to fix the world but it just keeps falling apart. why? why don't ppl see what's right and wrong? what gives them this skewed perspective? is it friends? is it family? is it just because of rebeliousness? or is it just because they don't know? but if they didn't know and they were told, would they want to accept it? it scares me to know that most probably they wouldn't. they'd rather not choose to sacrifice something eventhough they know it's wrong.

maybe i expect too much of ppl nowdays? i guess i want to live in a world where ppl who are supposed to be good do the right things. and have the right mindset.

why?

and why do i care so much?

apparently it's Messiah Complex according to Sanjit. and it sucks.

the only way to beat this is to not care.

and like ppl have been saying in blogs these past few days, possibly the only way to not be disappointed it to not expect at all.

***************************


in other news...

my results i got back. i'm actually not happy with it at all. maybe cuz i also had the impression it's easy as to do well. haih. i dunno. i just feel... like i didn't do well enough for some reason.

actually i did do well, it's just that one subject that i'm not happy about. i mean, i totally didn't expect to do badly for that sub. and i did badly. maybe it's the term test that brought me down. or maybe everyone else did well.

honestly, i don't have a reason to complain actually. i definitely didn't study as hard as the others. heck far from study hard. i should be rejoicing at the grades i got.

but aih. i guess i'm just greedy. and not satisfied with what i have. i know i have to study hard. but can i even do it? i need to change! for my own sake! haih. i hope next year is diff.

****************************

i miss Yih Ren. i miss playing with him so much. cuz he and i like practically memorised all the bits and parts to songs that we don't need practice all we need to do is play.

it's like that time at Youth Camp last year. he on drums and me on bass. it was just a random session that we had. just "oh hey, let's jam" and there we were playing like 4-5 songs back-to-back without even practicing.

now that's jamming. and even if we messed up we managed to like fix it without stopping the song. and we knew when the song when to the verse and what not.

so yeah, i miss Yih Ren. wish there were more ppl like him. then we cud prob form a band or smth.

*************************

yeah i'm pretty emo today. possibly cuz i'm tired too. enjoy reading.

Currently Listening To: Run - Hillsong

The Edge

Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break!

Linkin Park

Currently Listening To: One Step Closer - Linkin Park

Jam (Khoo 2008)

-verb (to be used manglishly)
1. The state someone gets into when faced with something unbelievable, shocking or illogical. Sometimes followed by whole body freezing with blank or shocked expression on face.

e.g: When i read what she wrote, jam.



lol. Bernard, feel free to edit. drop a comment or smth. :P

Currently Listening To: Hit The Lights - Bullet For My Valentine

Like Flipped 180?

hahhaa. i dunno what to say la.

k in situation A, it would be better to use method 1 la. but some ppl decide to use method 2 which is more expensive. tak logic man.

and in situation B, both ways is fine la. but like method 2 i think is more normal. but now method 1 is used. win la.

and blaming the person for dying when you caused them to die? that's like super win. hahahahha!

sry for a cryptic post Jo. but i think u may understand la. or maybe not. haha.

Thank You

such a perfect song. heard it this morning. i dunno what else to say wei. haha. i guess this wud go under the songs where if i had to highlight any bit of the song i wud have to do the whole song.

I thought that I could always count on you
I thought that nothing could become between us two
We said as long as we would stick together
We'd be alright
We'd be ok

But I was stupid
And you broke me down
I'll never be the same again

So thank you for showing me
That best friends cannot be trusted
And thank you for lying to me
Your friendship, the good times we had
You can have them back

Yeah

I wonder why it always has to hurt
For every lesson that you have to learn
I won't forget what you did to me
How you showed me things I wished I'd never see

But I was stupid
And you broke me down
I'll never be the same again

So thank you for showing me
That best friends cannot be trusted
And thank you for lying to me
Your friendship, the good times we had
You can have them back

When the tables turn again
You'll remember me my friend
You'll be wishing I was there for you

I'll be the one you miss the most
But you'll only find my ghost
As time goes by
You'll wonder why
You're all alone

So thank you for showing me
That best friends cannot be trusted
And thank you for lying to me
Your friendship, the good times we had
You can have them back

So thank you, for lying to me
So thank you, for all the times you let me down
So thank you, for lying to me
So thank you, your friendship you can have it back

Simple Plan

Currently Listening To: Thank You - Simple Plan

I Like Today

yeah i really did. it's probably just the way that there were no rules u know? like i could do anything and wasn't bounded by factors like time, parents, studies or anything. today was what a holiday was like for me: just sitting and chilling and talking and doing stuff with my friends. it was nice. :)

i love being back. :) (i would say it must be cuz of my friends, but my friends are all perasan ppl so i probably better not =P)

and now i'm wondering whether i should go for the NCO retreat or not. i mean, it's not like i have anything better to do here. plus i still wanna lepak also la. hmmm. to go or not to go?

and on another note, i'm actually curious why noone else has actually asked me anything abt it. ok la. one person did. but that's diff case. haha. no la, i mean all the ppl i expected to ask didn't. maybe cuz they don't care or they expected it. or maybe i expected too much. haha! oh well, whatever, just let the wrong expectation go la. hmmm.

fuh. my longest post in a while.

oh ya. Malaysia is hotttt!!! melts!

oh and Dana can drive. not bad. hahahah!

Currently Listening To: This Moment - Disturbed

Well Just Maybe Some Overreaction

but i reckon it's pretty normal.

finding out your life is just gonna end suddenly one day.

but maybe freaked out too much.

haih. i guess guys like me shudn't know the future. or shud i just say "future".

Currently Listening To: Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low

Strong Word

hmm someone once said that hate is a strong word.

i can safely say i know what they meant.

Currently Listening To: The Pinky and The Brain

Brilliant Idiot

got this from caleb's friend's blog. MUST WATCH!

i dunno who is dumber. the guy on the car or the driver.




Currently Listening To: Situations - Escape The Fate

After Watching The Bird And The Worm

this is what someone said after watching The Bird and The Worm video i posted a few days back:

".... i don't think i'll be able to sit on a couch peacefully again :S..."


hahahhahahahaha

Currently Listening To: Planetshakers - Saved The Day

Things Change

and making it seem like it didn't is hard.

and noone can find out cuz noone will understand.



things change.

and it causes people to change.

and most of the times it isn't into something good.

Currently Listening To: Wake The Dead - The Used