Slow Down

Close the door and take the stairs.
Up or down? Ups and down.
Don't pretend you've never been there.
You kiss me like an overdramatic actor who's starving for work,
with one last shot to make it happen.
You've won the role, you've played your part,
you've been cordially invited.
But I'm not impressed, and I'm definitely not excited.
'Cause the film runs a shallow budget,
and the writer's subject script isn't any deeper.
So dive right in...

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them. I won't buy in.
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
hey you, who are you kidding?
Don't quit 'til 47.
Then we'll turn it up and we'll play a little faster.

Take back everything you ever said.
You never meant a word of it. You never did.
Take back everything you said.
You never meant a word of it. You never did.

She said 'Alright, Alright, slow down!"
Oh no, oh no, we won't.
'Cause I regret every thing that I said to ever make her feel
like she was something special, or that she ever really mattered.
Did she ever really matter?

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them. I won't buy in.
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
just don't count on this summer.
Don't quit 'til 47. Then we'll turn it up and we'll play a little faster.

Take back everything you ever said.
You never meant a word of it. You never did.
Take back everything you said.
You never meant a word of it. You never did.
I'm not saying that I'm not breaking some hearts tonight, girl.
I'm not saying that I'm not breaking some hearts tonight, girl.

Alright, alright, slow down...

Take back everything you ever said.
You never meant a word of it. You never did.
Take back everything you said.
You never meant a word of it. You never did.

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them. I won't buy in.

The Academy Is...

Currently Listening To: Misery Business - Paramore

Green Street Hooligans

I've never lived closer to danger, but I've never felt safer. I've never felt more confident, and people could spot it from a mile away. And as for this, the violence? I gotta be honest - it grew on me. Once you've taken a few punches and realize you're not made of glass, you don't feel alive unless you're pushing yourself as far as you can go.

Matt Buckner

Currently Listening To: Hand Of Blood - Bullet For My Valentine

Pure Ownage Part 2

seriously, this guy is damn too much.



and this guy is damn pro on his bike. seriously



Currently Listening To: Situations - Escape The Fate

Opposites

".... don't you see it? we're just exact opposites. but somehow same in some weird way. so i can't kill myself cuz then she would die too.

but of course i don't want her to die. she's still like a part of me. she's like the bad side of me. the side no one was ever supposed to see. and i honestly can't live knowing her life is going down the drain because of me. yes, this IS my fault. and you did agree last time too remember.

so is this the only way? you definitely know it is. it's the only way that i can save her and everyone that cares about her. it IS the only way man. we're opposites. it's just the way it has to be unfortunately. yea it'll suck for me. but at least things should be better. and yea. i guess in some way i want this too. i want to do this not because i have to do it.

-you know there's no turning back once you go with this plan right? are you sure you want to do this?

... yea i'm sure... and even if i'm not, i want to be. i have to do this. i need to do this. it's the only way. i need to fuck up my life so she, being my opposite, will have a better life.

so i guess this is goodbye then. i don't want to hurt you guys when i change from being me. and yeah, don't tell anyone. just say i left without reason. they wouldn't understand.

-this isn't the way it's supposed to go down bro. you shouldn't be doing this. you know that.

heh. i guess sometimes we don't have a choice. *half smiles*..."

Either you die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain

Harvey Dent

Those bad guys don't have to worry. Cuz their life is bad enough. the only way they can go is up, which is all good for everyone. Ah, but for the good ones, heh, they are the ones who should live with the worry. Cuz when ure up, the only way you can go is down.

Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall

Currently Listening To: Haven't Found - Pras Michel

Pure Ownage

they can so freaking sing man. cekapness.




Currently Listening To: Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge - Mayday Parade

Perfectly Said By Caleb

taken from Caleb's blog. i dunno how to say it any better. thx!

"k, i think im done stating d obvious, so yea, i bet u guys notice rite, that a lot of times that ppl ask certain stuff that u kinda are like forced to decline or u are forced to say yes..like for example, "hey, can i ask for ur help?" but yea, k, i noe that some of u dont feel obliged to answer as pressured, but yea, ppl get pressured to be nice or to give d socially acceptable answer..esp when it concerns others feelings.." do u think i look fat?" so yea, guys are like forced to say no, or something like that..sorry la but i find that really annoying..if i think ur annoying, i will say i think ur annoying, but its not out of malice but its actually out of care cuz i want to see u grow or change to be better..honestly i use to think that if we all just spoke out our true feeling with no malicious content or tone in our voice, the world would be a better place, then again that is under d assumption that everyone wants to grow or wants to change for d better..

u can ask my BB friends, i tell them stuff that u cant imagine telling another person..i remember saying, " dude, ur breath stinks..im gonna wait for u to brush ur teeth before i talk to u"( that was like in d morning la, n we just woke up) but yea, d point is that i care about my friends la, n i expect my friends to tell me stuff like this also..imagine, there are ppl out there who are suffering uncomfortability because they dont want to hurt others feelings..well, then again, im a culprit also too..thats cuz certain things that ppl can take, like saying " i find u annoying" that is too mean, n i think can be only said to ppl who u noe can take a hit like that..if ur not sure, then dont try that..even if u noe d person can take a hit like that, always ask first..if not ur relationship with d person will surely suffer..if only ppl are open about themselves, then they can like change for d better..haiz.."

thank you Caleb! see now i'm happy i bugged u to blog. =P

Currently Listening To: Nothing. It's 7.23 in the morning. haha!

French Connection United Kingdom!

walau! this is just too much!

SO PISSED OFF NOW.

first i fall asleep without setting my alarm! so i miss my 8 am class in the morning cuz i woke up only at 8! and CS din go to class as well so i can't get my handout!

then i brilliantly continued sleeping! so i missed my math class at 9 and my Physics class at 10. then i missed my Engr102 tutorial at 11!

AND PALING TERUK! i missed my skills test retake! but i met Li Ying at lunch and she said it's ok to go late la. so that's at least better.

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

i went there and did again and i only got a lousy 6. which is just one freaking mark improvement from last time! WHAT THE HELL LA! i studied quite bit for that k! ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! :@

why i got wrong also i dunno. i counted everything carefully k! ZOMGWTFBBQ LA! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PISSSED OFFF!! ::@@@:@:@:@:@

then in my pissed off rage from the computer of all ppl to bump into at the door, i only manage to suddenly mumble out a sorry just for walking out the door first. like wtf? why sorry? just walking out a door what. macam bodoh je! GAH.

SUCH A HORRIBLE DAY! and it's only 2.25 in the afternoon now!

I NEED TO CALM DOWN! WHERE'S MY COD4 PPL??

_______________

GAH! one more thing i found out. apparently now i have to go to a dentist. cuz i have one tooth at the back there which is going to erupt! ISHHHH. dah la dentists here cost so much. and apparently it's going to be painful. like seriously. HAIIIIHHHH. plus i need to get it done soon or else it'll spoil the rest of my teeth.

TODAY JUST SUCKS LA. >=(

Currently Listening To: Shinobi Vs. Dragon Ninja - Lostprophets

Walk Away

Em1$SAK-U

^thats how far i got trying to use the Vista Speech Recognition to type my blog. and thats also is like after so hard to get to the page. sheesh.

anyway, i just wanted to say, i've heard it all before. like really. and i know what i'm talking about cuz i've been through it too.



so i just don't believe you guys anymore. oh no. it's not just one person. everyone seems to be doing it. and when they say stuff like that, they don't actually really mean it funnily enough. it's just the spur of the moment talk. to convince someone for that moment. things like these only time will tell.

but i'm not waiting for time. i already know how this story ends. :)

so no. i don't believe you. and don't get angry at me for not believing you. it's not me who said that and didn't stick to the words right. you can get angry when you actually followed what you said and i didn't believe.

hmm quite a morbid 400th post. but oh wells.

Currently Listening To: On Fire - Switchfoot

Work = Force x Distance

heh. what do you know?

i believe it's working and improving too.

:)

and i must mention here that Paramore is just such a super kick-ass band. like seriously.

no seriously. haha.

damn i should get back to me Math Tutorial now. wasted too much time tonight. =/

Currently Listening To: Hallelujah - Paramore

Sif

sif you didn't know that place (would've) existed.

pfffffttt.

Currently Listening To: H! Vltg3 - Linkin Park

Cleaning Day

Random Picture: Flower outside my window. I think spring is coming. :)

seriously, today is like cleaning day.

i washed my hair and had a bath.

i cleaned my shoes. (finally after like so long!)

Top: after; Bottom: before

i shaved.

i did my laundry.

yeah thats all la. i would have vacuumed my room also la. it's so long overdue. but been busy with all the events today.

k la i must say the dinner was nice. something different la i guess. but shouldn't have drank since i had my physics quiz and my math to study for. brilliant. bit of a headache k just now. too much. but k la. it's prob all in my mind. haha.

and din take as much photos as expected. and i was so casual as usual. well, good to be diff than normal i guess. haha.

and Sam is huge ok. and he's like 2 years younger than me. monster! :P

but he's all cool and all good la. haha. actually ya, one of the fun and coolest Malaysians i have met here actually. not bad. skills.

k la. thats all for now. shall post up one vid from the secret admirers thing. nvr actually watched it yet. so i dunno abt the sound quality la. haha. enjoy!


Currently Listening To: P5hng Me A*wy - Linkin Park

Video Call!

haha. so i had my first proper video call that day with Lauren. not bad la. it was like quite interesting. can make faces and talk at the same time. quite cool. haha.

we talked for an hour k. that like quite skill. i mean have to look at face and talk. haha. it's like a phone call i guess. cept u can see what the other person is doing. and the sound quality was not bad right Lauren?

well, maybe i'm jakun and all la. but i found it quite fun. and interesting. i mean there was like look, talk, type and play games and chat. thats super cool k.

k i should stop being jakun now.

my first video call la k! haha!

oh and my hair is longer than Lauren's hair now. not bad. quite skilled. when am i gonna cut? hmm. well, see how la. since summer here is going to be hot. and i'm def gonna be working. and str8ening again is expensive. maybe at the end of the year la. haha.

anyway.... VIDEO CALL IS COOL OKAI! =D

kejakunnessan. :)

Currently Listening To: The Day I Left The Womb - Escape The Fate

The Time I Should Be In Malaysia

k seriously, this is too much. my time to be in Malaysia was def from the 19th July to at least the 20th August.(provided my holidays are super flexible la) why? k i got tons of reasons.

20 something July - Jo's road trip thing.
31st - Jo leaving
2nd August - MTV Asia Music Awards
4th - Panic At The Disco Concert
9th - Kamil's farewell kenduri
18th - My dear "adik" Lauren Chia's bday

plus i prob get to take my guitar here instead of resorting to buy one. plus i get to meet up with Sanjit and Nik who were down for their holidays. Plus my sis is back too. and plus i get to say bye properly this time to everyone. plus i could prob str8en my hair again. plus i'm sure there was a PC fair going on also. plus i can help my fam fix their comp problems. i prob would have seen batman b4 everyone else in NZ also.

woi! too much la. so many reasons to be back NOW. and thx to the ticket price of 4k++ my only time back can be in 2010. ISH ISH ISH.

see! tambah emonessan. :(

Currently Listening To: Shaking - Sugarcult

The Piles Just Pile

Shit just got real

Bad Boys 2

*k u know la what i wanna put here*

haih. i just realised i have no clue at all abt what's going on in Math. like totally clueless. i have no idea whats happening. i can't do the Math tutorial questions at all. like can't at all. :( it really is depressing thinking abt the upcoming test knowing i won't be able to solve anything. haih.

and it's really annoying having a head full of thoughts. it seriously makes me look anti-social. i mean i can just walk past ppl i know just ucz my head is too caught up in it's many crazy and worrying thoughts. and then when i just walk past them, the ppl will then think i'm purposely ignoring them. then the next time i actually see them, they will ignore me back. haih. i didn't purposely not notice you! :(

haih. i guess cuz of my thinking also i'm anti-social la. i mean, whats the point of talking to people when you know that half way through their talking you're gonna end up zoning out and thinking about all the stuffs that is bothering you. and like i did mention in the previous post long time ago, i have a short attention span. so i don't really listen to ppl. plus this thinkin thing makes it worse. but really been fixing that. and i think there's improvement. hmm.

and maybe thats why i choose to be in my room so much. like stay away from ppl. and maybe thats why i'm not so talkative. cuz i think too much. haih. who would have known that thinking would have caused problems. :(

ben is anti-social. :(

see la. i knew it. kan i dah said in like 3 previous posts. once happy must be emo again. and just as soon as i said it it happens la. wonderful. ish.

emo. :(

Currently Listening To: Tears Don't Fall -Bullet For My Valentine

Specificity

"Could you be more specific on how much?"

"Sure. With everything I had, and with everything I have now and with everything I will ever have. Specific enough? :)"

Currently Listening To: The Beautiful Letdown - Switchfoot

One-Eighty By Summer

Go on just say it,
You need me like a bad habit,
One that leaves you defenseless, dependent, and alone.
Go on just say it
(Are you afraid to)
You need me like a bad habit
(Say what you want to, tell me you want to)
One that leaves you defenseless, dependent, and alone
(Are you afraid to say what you want to, tell me you want to).

Well I hold my tongue use it to assess,
The damage from way back when it mattered,
But nothing seems important anymore,
We're just protecting ourselves from our self,
And I don’t think I’ll ever come back down
(I don’t think I’ll ever come back down)
I don’t think I’ll ever come back down
(I don’t think I’ll ever come back down)
I don’t think I’ll ever come back down
(I don’t think I’ll ever come back)
I don’t think I’ll ever come back…

Are you ashamed to say what you want to,
Tell me you want to.
Are you ashamed to say what you want to,
Tell me you want to.
Go on just say it
(Are you ashamed to)
Go on just say it
(Say what you want to)
(Tell me you want to)
Go on just say it
(Are you ashamed to)
Go on just say it
(Say what you want to)
(Tell me you want to.)

I'm making the difference,
It just seems pointless,
With all the obvious lines all out of focus,
Why can’t you just be happy?
Why can’t you just be happy?

And I don’t think I’ll ever come back down
(I don’t think I’ll ever come back down)
I don’t think I’ll ever come back down
(I don’t think I’ll ever come back down)
I don’t think I’ll ever come back down
I don’t think I’ll ever come back…)
I don’t think I’ll ever come back...

(Just come back, just come back...)
Go on just say it, (just come back...)
Come on just say it, (just come back...)
Well I’ll just say it, (just come back...)
I’ll just say it, (just come back...)
I need you defenseless, dependent and alone.
(Just come back, just come back, just come back...)
She says live up to your first impression,
Well my best side was your worst invention,
Can't you live without the attention?
Can't you live without the attention?
(Just come back, just come back, just come back...)
She says live up to your first impression,
Well my best side was your worst invention,
Can't you live without the attention?
Can't you live without the attention?

She says live up to your first impression,
Well my best side was your worst invention,
Can't you live without the attention?
Can't you live without the attention?

She says live up to your first impression (Come on, just say it),
Well my best side was your worst invention (Come on, just say it),
Why can't you live without the attention
(I need you defenseless, dependent),
Why can't you live without the attention (alone).
She says live up to your first impression (I just say it),
Well my best side was your worst invention (I just say it),
Why can't you live without the attention
(I need you defenseless, dependent),
Why can't you live without the attention (Alone),
Why can't you live (Defenseless, dependent),
Why can't you live (Defenseless, dependent),
Why can't you live without... live without
(Defenseless, dependent, defenseless, dependent),
Why can't you live (Defenseless, dependent),
Why can't you live (Defenseless, dependent),
Why can't you live without… live without
(Defenseless, dependent, defenseless, dependent).

Taking Back Sunday

with awesome songs like this written with great lyrics, how la to be emo? haha.

Currently Listening To: One-Eighty by Summer - Taking Back Sunday

Did I Mention?

k seriously, did i mention my friends are awesome?

k cuz if i din...

MY FRIENDS ARE AWESOME!!! =DDDD

heh. dunno why la. the past few days sudd only happy for no reason.

k got reason la. but yea like no reason happy only.

i mean, my internet got cut and pissing off stuff with the online quiz happened but still like happy happy. haha!

k la. maybe cuz the quiz issue got resolved. so mmg no problem di.

but weird la. like my happiness is growing exponentially the past few days. haha!

BUT as we all know, ups must have it's downs. so now i'm just waiting for the big down which will balance out the big up.

but (again) that doesn't mean i won't enjoy every bit of the happiness i have now! :D

and the weather today damn random man. suddenly the morning can go down to -1C? like random much? it was like a happy 8C for the past few days. suddenly only wanna go so low. haha. it's a good thing i decided to wear long sleeve tshirt today man. what a lucky coincidence. haha.

still waiting for my photos from yest from the woman.... ish. slow la some ppl. haha.

Currently Listening To: Give It Up - Midtown

Trigger

heh. i feel like i'm the reason it all started.

but i shall not be perasan la k.

:D

and i still feel we should have taken waaayyy more photos today la.

hmm. nvm next time then. got this sunday also. then Malam. haha.

gosh i'm slowly becoming a girl la i tell u. sheesh.

the fact that i'm typing this with my hair tied also says smth. haha!

and dana said i look ass with my hair tied. ish!

oh and i did drawing again! see if u can guess whats this originally.



did it during meeting somemore. haha!

this is in perfect equilibrium. cool eh? it's like balanced there. haha.

k bye! my finally busy/pissing off/happy day has finally ended. haha! =D

Currently Listening To: Golden Skans - Klaxons

The Emo Kid's Jacket

probably one of his most useful items of clothing.

cuz it helps him hide his scar riddled arms.

the only place he could find to let out all his frustration and anger and hurt he faces from the world.

maybe it's the rush he gets from the cut? maybe it's actually being able to see the hurt? like showing the hurt in a different form. maybe it's to just feel real again. or maybe to just start feeling again.

I hurt myself today,
To see if i still feel

Nine Inch Nails

so thats why he needs his jacket. to hide it from the world. the world won't understand. most of the world won't care. more than half the world probably hates him already.

besides, with his jacket on all the time, he can hide it from the people he loves whom actually care. cuz they would freak out. but it's his only way out.

so he needs this jacket of his. it's sorta like his lifeline i guess. it gives him a way out and also helps ensure the ones he cares abt don't worry.

oh and i guess it proves useful as it keeps him warm through winter and also when he walks under the neverending rain of a gloomy day.

ah, yes. the emo kid and his jacket. :)

Currently Listening To: Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

Brilliant. I Forgot A Title

hmm. i think i should change that picture post now.

oh and Happy Birthday Jin! :)

Currently Listening To: In The Sun - Joseph Arthur