Never Take Friendship Personal

There's a hatchet got a knife
When I awoke there was nothing real in this life
But dreams are so intoxicating, (intoxicating)
When you're doing this alone
Gun, rope, brick on the way
But words have no meaning when its you that says
I really do care, no baby I, I really do care!

Innocence gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?
In a sense gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?

Once a skeptic, now the critic
And you think that you finally found a place of your own.
Amongst the cold and timid souls
Where only failure knows your name

Look around for the closest to blame
But look no further than the hands beneath your arms
and now your 6 feet down, buried with,
with your passing fame fame fame fame.

Innocence gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?
In a sense gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?

Oh, oh, oh, you lie
Tell me something more than what you tried to hide
If you can't find yourself, then how can I expect to find you.
Oh, oh, oh, you cry
Tell me something more than what you try
The greatest tragedy is not your death
But a life without reason, your life has no purpose
Your life has no reason, your life has no purpose

Innocence gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?
In a sense gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?

Innocence gone, never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
Why should I hold you now?

Anberlin

something i totally need to learn.

Currently Listening To: Paperthin Hymn - Anberlin

You Shouldn't Do Stupid Things Like That In The First Place

Haley Haley.

i'm disappointed.

i thought you wouldn't have turned out like every other celeb.

u kinda expect the slutty ppl to be the ones to do such a thing.

but i guess not just them. Nothing Is What It Seems.


haih.

lost respect. =/

Currently Watching: FlashForward Season 1 Episode 22

But When You Realise It, It'll Be Too Late

it's not what you want.

but, ure so scared that if you let go what you have, you may not find anotherm which is similar cuz that's what you're comfortable with.

you know your heart is not at rest.

but you want it to be. you want to be able to say "Yeah I'm happy" with a clear conscience.

but you can't. so you go on living your life everyday saying "Yeah this is what i want" even though you don't believe it.


and by the time you realise that when you could have let go and moved on to be happy, u've invested too much in what you have, it'll be too late.

because you'll tell yourself "What can i do? I've settled for this the whole time. I've put so much effort in this" that you won't leave even if you're not happy.


so you go on to live the rest of your days being miserable. cuz now it's too late.


my advice, do the things that make you happy, and that feels right and comfortable with you.

and don't ever fool yourself into thinking you're happy when you're not.

cuz well, at the end of the day, it's you who's gonna suffer.


but then again, who am i to tell you all these things right?

so go, go back to being 'happy'.

i hope i'm wrong. :)

Currently Listening To: 19/2000 [Soulchild Remix] - Gorillaz

Kill Me Now

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT





JUST KILL ME RIGHT NOW.

Currently Listening To: Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade

Cliched-ly True

it's funny, u watch a show, and this scene happens.


Girl A asks Guy A out. not the first time she's asking. but he's like no cuz he's just out of a relationship. but then she persists. so he's like, well, he's gotta move on to right? so why not.

and like a few moments after they kiss, that's the moment la when the guy gets the msg from his ex saying that she made a mistake implying they shud get back together.


so that's the scene. so typical right the timing? and it's like so cliche. and ppl will say, it always happens in shows one la. not in real life.

so when it actually happens in real life, u just end up getting stunned. like NO WAY. this is just too coincidental. kinda mind blowing i would say.

so in the end, you end up with, Mind Blown + Confusion at Ex + Confusion abt what to do with new girl. yeap. ur brain ends up in a mess.


it's funny, cuz like, we tend to watch all these dramas shows and say, psh that nvr happens in real life.

but sometimes, all these unbelievable stuff u see, happened in real life, and that's where the shows got the inspiration from.

hmmm

Currently Listening To: Blackbirds - Linkin Park

I Classify Myself As Having Class, In A Way

it's kinda amusing.

cuz like u hear all these ppl who are jumping bf and gf. it's like the first person that comes their way, that's the next bf/gf.

to me, that just seems waaaayyyy too despo.



or maybe it's just that i'm too picky. i mean, these girls actually make an effort, but i'm like, nah.

lol. i feel like i'm damn too much.

i'd rather look at it as though i have class. high standards. ;)

well sure i look like a stuck up jerk. but hey! beats being a despo! :D


Currently Listening To: Tear Down The Walls - Hillsong United

Not Good Enough

not that easy now. ;)





on a side note. i'm not emo anymore. and haven't and won't be emo. so calm down. everything's good now. :)

Currently Listening To: All Day - Hillsong United

I Deserved It

put it this way.

imagine, there's this terrorist. who has killed ppl. and is planning to kill more. but nobody knows who he is.

then he gets shot by some random person.

now that you know the background of the story, u probably might say, "well, he deserved what he got"


but imagine u din know the background. all you'd get is:

He got shot by some random person.


and now u say "damn that random guy for killing an innocent civilian"



so i guess, though random guy's action is bad (cuz he's killing someone), just maybe the other guy deserved it.

Currently Listening To: My First Kiss - 3Oh!3

They Know What To Say

because your best friend doesn't tell you what you wanna hear.

she tells you what you need to hear.

and tells you what's right. and the right thing to do.

even if it's the last thing on earth you wanna hear/do.


so thx Laurz. ure right.


haih. i don't wanna do this.

it's not fair.

but it's the right thing to do. =/

Currently Playing: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

I Feel Famous!

wow. if you search "Nothing is what it seems" on google, my blog comes up on the 4th link!

like wow. i mean, that's like just a random phrase, song lyrics, can be anything!

but like i'm at the first page of google. and top 5 link somemore!

lol. so weird. it's not like i post worldy relevant stuff somemore. hahaha.

k la. awesome. i shall just accept it. haha!

Currently Listening To: Nothing Is What It Seems (Without You) - Saosin

Where Is All This Going

i know. i'm not supposed to blog abt emo stuffs. but yeah.

things just seem really sucky now. i've lost all interest in studying.

i literally just feel like i can't study.

and it's not like i can take a break either. classes just keep going. assignments come pouring in. haih.

worst is, i suck so much at my studies, i don't even know i can do my assignment. as much as i want to. i know i'm going to screw up cuz i don't know how. and i know if i ask my friends, i'm pretty much gonna be asking everything, so i'd rather not annoy them.

i wish i could be like my other friends. who can actually study. i don't know why i just absolutely have no mood. none at all. i know i should. but it's like my mind wanders off places so i can't concentrate.

and it's hard, cuz i really need to understand stuff to get it. my friends just manage to memorize and they get it. it sucks.

maybe it's just been that subject which i haven't done well from the start. and last year i made things worse. and this year, even if i want to try, my basics is flawed. so i mess up even the simple stuff.

my math also screwed up. in class now they talk abt math stuff, and i don't remember them. and they don't really explain what's going on the math side. we're just supposed to remember i guess. but i don't. my memory is just that bad i guess.

i guess it's demotivating. seeing my friends answer with a breeze the easy stuff and i still just screw up. why don't i have their motivation to study? why does everything else in the world seem more interesting than studying?

maybe it's my social life which screwed me up. maybe i've got too many emo things to think abt? it's bugging me. i don't understand it. "it's not fair".

for sure i know that it's cuz of my 2nd year that i'm suffering now. i wish i could i repeat it in some way. make sure i learn everything properly this time. but i doubt JPA would look kindly on it. plus the social impacts of one repeating 2nd year seems like it'll be harsh. everyone will be like "look at that kid, didn't study enough so can't make it to 3rd year. he deserved it." well, without a doubt i deserve it, but somehow the thought of it just seems embarrassing to go through.

why oh why didn't i put enough effort last year instead of just trying to scrape through? haih.

what if this isn't what i'm supposed to be doing? what if Mech Eng is not for me? hmmm. it's weird, cuz only after 2 years, now i'm thinking of it. this whole time, i was sure. "This is what i wanna do." and now i can barely keep up. in fact, i'm not even keeping up. it sucks. but what sucks even more is, if this isn't what i was meant to do, then what is? my whole life has been built around this. and if that was wrong, then i've been wasting my life?

maybe i'm not smart enough. maybe i just got dumb and now i don't get easy things. but i don't think so. i know that if i study hard enough, i can do it. but how do i study if i don't have the motivation to.

and how do i study level 2 stuff when my level 1 stuff is bad? i want time to fix this. but time just keeps on moving.


i can fix this. i hope i can. but i need time and motivation. i believe i can get the time. but how do i get the motivation when it seems like i've lost all hope? when i think to myself "what's the point of going over today's lecture, you're not gonna get it"

it sucks cuz i know this is important. even if i don't want it to be. and i can't just brush it off. it's affecting me a lot. it's getting to a point that it may just be depressing. haih.

haih. times like these, i so wish for a time machine.

Currently Listening To: Save Me (Wakeup Call) - Unwritten Law

I Want To Win

i want to be the one, to screw up, and end up coming out on top.


just one good big fat undeserving win.

which i'll remember for the rest of my life.

and i'll probably never ask for more.

Currently Listening To: Hate Every Beautiful Day - Sugarcult

If You Wanna Literally LoL, Watch This

damn epic. seriously

Currently Listening To: Airplanes Pt 2 - B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams & Eminem

The "Messed Up" Girl

u know how there's some girl whom ur friends try to convince you she's messed up? yeah. that girl.

but somehow, i found out these girls somehow can be better than some normal ppl.


like how girl A told me girl B was a slut. but it turns out that girl A is the one who's making out with almost everyone, and girl B is the one with the steady boyfriend for the past 3 years.


and how another girl, instead of trying to avoid me cuz she didn't bring the thing i lent to her (like how i think most ppl would act), she actually came and apologized to me, and told me she didn't bring it. clearly i'm sure everyone would prefer the truth instead of avoiding, like how i feel abt it.


so yeah. these supposedly "messed up" girls, can actually do better than other ppl. hmm.

Currently Watching: South Park - Season 13 Episode 13

What's Messed Up Is

....waking up the next morning,

remembering how gr8 everything was last night,

and remembering that i forgot to get her number.



sciencedamnit.

haih.

Currently Watching: South Park - Season 11 Episode 11

Ideals

i have all these ideals in my life.

which i know i should follow.

which i try to convince ppl they should follow.


and i know if we all follow it, everyone is gonna end up happy.



the problem is, more than half of them i've broken, and i see more which i just know i'm going to break.


=/

Currently Watching: One Tree Hill - Season 7 Episode 20

I'm Outta Control!

last night, i went extreme.

cuz i have no discipline, so i had to do smth to take care of that.

so i went,

and

uninstalled COD4.



it's like using one whole pack of cigarettes and then going cold turkey.


but haih. it's needed.

let's just hope i don't find new ways to distract myself.

Currently Listening To: Wild Wild West - Will Smith

This Does Not Make Sense To Me

when u think abt it, hot air rises, so why would you put a heater on the ceiling?

i mean, u want to heat up the cold air right? so if the hot air rises to the ceiling, wouldn't the heater just heat up the hot air?

then the thermostat (also placed high up) will sense the room is hot based on the hot air at the top of the room.

but HELLOOOOOO. we (humans) live on the ground! why the heck would we want a heater that heats the ceiling instead of the ground area where we're at??!

this is just stupid. it does not make sense. can someone explain this?

probably it's just Ilam's scheme of trying to save money but not actually heating anything.

ish.

Currently Listening To: Time To Dance - Panic! At The Disco