Uknowingly Ignored

u know it's kinda funny, we both CLEARLY know each other. but each time we see each other now, it's like i never met her.

and it's actually come to the point that it's actually like we didn't meet at all. it feels that way.

and if i just realised this after the moment we glanced at each other and looked away. and i thought to myself, hey don't i know her?

funny, apparently, if u ignore someone long and hard enough, they actually disappear somewhat from your head.

cool. :)

Currently Listening To: Forgiven - Relient K

Anywhere But Here

Tonight it's the one thing left
And I haven't said it yet
I'm falling, and the writing's on the wall

Today was misery
And I just can't believe this happened
And I finally broke down

She held on to my heart
But now my only star is falling,
And it's burning to the ground

Now i cry it out...

Secret love my escape
Take me far far away
Secret love are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here

Anywhere but here...

You're all I've got right now
Noone else figures out this feeling,
and how lonely it can get

These words can cut right through
Cause all along I knew you're sorry
But you haven't said it yet

But i won't forget..

Secret love my escape
Take me far far away
Secret love are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here

When we're together,
Thoughts of her disappear
If i fell to pieces, you'd heal this pain i feel

Secret love my escape
Take me far far away
Secret love are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?

Secret love my escape
Take me far far away
Secret love are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here

Anywhere but here...

Mayday Parade

they sound good so far. i like. :)

Currently Listening To: Anywhere But Here - Mayday Parade

My Brain Thinks It's Chinese

seriously. kind of a funny story that happened the other day.

k just for those who don't know, most of my friends that i hang around with are mostly chinese, ever since secondary school. i dunno why. it's just like that. i prob fit in better with them. and most of them are those who speak english mostly. i suspect that's why i can fit in with them cuz i only speak english and not tamil. so naturally, i have a tendency to stick to ppl who can speak english. and now i realise that it's not just chinese ppl, but anyone who can speak english i can fit in. just so happen there are more chinese ppl who speak english more. k that's the background

ANYWAY! so here's what happened. some minister came to Chch la. so i got invited to go for this sorta big dinner that he wanted to have to meet the Canterbury students. so when we reach there, it ended up that ppl mostly ended up sitting with their own race a.k.a the Chinese sat with themselves and the Malays also sorta sat with themselves. you can guess where i initially sat la.

then i'm there like crap, i don't like this, we should mix around and not just sit among ourselves. so i was telling YL that we should change where were sitting cuz it's so weird that all the Chinese were sitting together. then he turned and was like, why u so worried for? u can sit anywhere and u'd be mixing la (cuz i'm like the only Indian there). lol.

and that's when i realised my brain actually thinks it's Chinese due to the constant hanging out with my Chinese friends. see! told u my brain is going crazy. Brain! ure Indian okay! get that right! sheesh. cacat thing. haha.

and thinkin about this made me think abt smth else i was thinking about last time. u know how i tend to be the only Indian guy among friends, i wonder if it's really obvious. i mean like, most of the time from my view everyone around me is like almost the same. like nobody stands out that obviously. so it's like what if it's from someone elses view? or at least when i'm around my Chinese friends. do i stand out. cuz clearly there's no denying that i was born with skin darker than my friends. so i wonder if like real obvious.

like if you see it from their eyes, is the dark skinned friend standing out among the fair skinned friends? i mean i really dunno, cuz for me, it's just all fair skinned friends, so noone is standing out. so i wonder if i stand out that way. hmmmm.

ok crap. i dunno if i made sense again. so yeah. just some thoughts. :) byes! i shud study now.

Currently Listening To: Over My Head (Better Off Dead) - Sum 41

I Am Too Smart For My Own Good

because i can't con myself into believing things i want to believe. guess i'm too logical.

because my brain doesn't listen to me anymore. it automatically does what needs to be done to keep me sane. it hides things from me.

because i prepare for every possible situations and automatically try and fix the messed up situations. prob why ppl say i'm a good liar. well mafia proved that anyway.

because i don't think of just what i'm thinking. i'm thinking of what you're thinking. and how you would react.

and all these things, somehow manage to balance out for good and bad and keep me alive and sane.



why am i posting this?

my brain told me to do so. i swear it's taking over.

oh and if u were wondering, yes i am crazy. :D

Currently Listening To: Famous - Puddle Of Mudd

Before I Finally Leave, I Think I'll Leave The Truth And Go

Who You Are Without Me - Kate Voegele

Who You Are Without Me

Put me up on your pedestal
I’ve got nowhere to go but down
You expect the impossible
And it’s too much to carry around

Well you tell me I’m beautiful
It feels empty and I don’t know why
But it seems that you’re searching me
For something you’re not going to find

I’m not your anchor so don’t hold on
I’m not the answer you got me wrong
I’m not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are, yeah who you are without me

Ooohh

Wide awake lying next to you
Being careful to get the words right
See it hurts me to tell you this
But it kills me to keep it inside

And I’m alone with the present tense
Making plans is over rated to me
And I don’t speak in guarantees
Or at least not the kind that you need

I’m not your anchor so don’t hold on
I’m not the answer you got me wrong
I’m not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are, yeah who you are without me

Oooh well I still believe in happy endings
But this just isn’t where I wanna spend mine
I believe in now I’ve said it
Oooooh

I’m not your anchor so don’t hold on
I’m not the answer you got me wrong
I’m not your savior, save your energy
To find out who you are,

I’m not a mirror look inside yourself
I’m not a hero you know too well
I’m not your savior save your energy
To find out who you are, who you are without me

Yeah, oooh

Kate Voegele

Currently Listening To: Who You Are Without Me - Kate Voegele

I Love My Cousins

most of all, i love how it's seriously more like brothers and sisters rather than cousins.

:)

congrats! :)

Currently Listening To: Glamorous - Fergie

He Did It Again!

k remember this post: Jack's Mannequin

well, he did it again! serious, every video, diff face. too much the fella. what a joker. and for that i'm gonna post all his music videos for you all to see. from most recent to not. well i'm not sure of the order so whatever la.

Jack's Mannequin "Swim"





Currently Listening To: Swim - Jack's Mannequin

Facebook Is Being A Bitch

so annoying. say can upload til 200 photos.

try cant. failed twice. so i try 150. FAIL AGAIN.

too much. so now 3 albums for 2 weeks. what crap.

oh well. anyway, the winter hols pics are up at my FB. go check it out. think there's quite a few awesome possum scenery pics. GO SEE! :D

****

looks like all i can do now is just hope for the best and not get caught.

****

was going thru all my documents to clear stuff up for more space. found a freaking 5 page word document. i typed. i wonder if i actually sent it at all or not. can't remember. 5 pages wei. giler. i had a lot to say.

****

i just realised i said that if she got it i would text her. but i didnt. =/ talk about fail texting skills.

****

k the comp is seriously eating my comp and study time. too much. but it's soooo good. :)

****

more kickass music:







Currently Listening To: Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson

Shit Catapult

this is keawesomenessan.

seriously, what an unlikely trio making awesome music.



props to Merv for the intro. that guy knows how to find good music.

Currently Listening To: Shit Catapult - Iiro Rantala New Trio

Google Ads Actually Help!

like for real. and no i'm not getting paid to say this.

k why? first of all, the ads relate to whatever you blog about right?

so a while back, i blogged about my broken skateboard right?

and then the ads were smart enough to find stuff about skateboards for me. (dunno if you guys see it) so yeah, there was one ad where is says skateboard, click here to find your nearest dealer in new zealand.

and well, since i was looking for one that time, i clicked la naturally to find right. and then i found out about Cheapskates located somewhere in City. and that's exactly where i bought my skateboard. :)






so THANK YOU GOOGLE ADS a.k.a GOOGLE ADSENSE! :)

Currently Listening To: For Real - Gensomaden Saiyuki

Sleep Being Devoured

i used to be a good boy who studied each night before sleeping when the new semester started.


:P


kk fine back to how it was tmrw. today is the day to enjoy. :)

well now i got motivation to finish labs and classes as fast as i can. and Tuesdays are so gonna rock. :DD

heh. yes i'm very proud of this. :) not best in the world. but awesome as to me.

Currently Listening To: Poison - All Time Low

Like A Kid On Christmas

heh heh heh.

i feeeeeeeeelllll so excitedy. hasn't reach yet. but i know it is going to VERY soon. :D

considering the hours i spent at the com lab trying to find the best one and the most worth it one, i think it has finally paid off. i feel proud of myself for doing the research and making a decision. :)))

but of course i couldn't have done it alone la. and on the top of my head i can think of 3 important ppl to thank; YL, for helping tons with the comunication with the seller and letting me use his comp and even paying on behalf of me while i was on hols. i bet to some extent i bugged him a lot too. sry man. then Isaac, for telling me whats good and not good. and Ray Tien for telling me to try and get a deal from the seller.

and with all these help. i got awesomeness. i just hope i can pick it up today, cuz i'll be restless as hell if i don't. i hope YL finishes SOlidWorks in time to go pick it up. hope hope hope.


Currently Listening To: Last Train Home - Lostprophets

This Makes Me Stressed Out

seriously, this comp issue is bugging the shit outta me.

at least now i'm confident enough to go buy a new one. as in, that's the right course of action.

but now it's the deciding how much is an ok price and a good deal. and how good do i want it. if i buy smth good, i want it to last pretty damn long.

but if i want smth good, then it'll cost more.

then there's the monitor and the keyboard and what not.

haih. so bugged out by this, why did u have to spoil. retard la.

STRESS.


and for a guy who LOATHES spending money, i reckon i'll be spending almost 2k or more this hols.

so for a while, please try not to make me spend money or even ask me to belanja u stuff or ask me to give you stuff which cost me quite a bit to get in the first place. thx

p.s.: just because i bought it, doesn't make it cheap or less valuable, so please understand why i hesitate to offer. it still cost me smth to get it.

Currently Listening To: Therapy - All Time Low

When It Rains, It Freaking Hailstorms

i've got a lot to complain about and a lot of things that are disturbing/irritating/bugging me.

i shall leave til after i get my comp.


on a side note, good stuff did happen too. so i shall blog about that for now.

like how everyone seems to be saying that we should have competed which i shall take as we played really well and we would have won. :)

it's nice doing something and people feeling that it's good enough to win a "competition". :)

unfortunately the song i like, most people can't appreciate, but yet they still thought we should win. that's pretty awesome.

ahhhhh. it feels good to do something good with my life.

plus the whole Tech Crew thing turned out really well. sure there were one or two mistakes. but it sure didn't turn out to be as stressful as what i thought it would be. i honestly had fun. :) the guys i was working with prob made it fun la. i'm glad that i could still laugh around with them while doing my job. awesome stuffs.

conclusion, not stressful, pretty fun stuff. :) dunno la why also. i think it's cuz Mamduh n Radin did give help to make my job easier. but really la, things went well, so i'm happy.

and i spent a long time just destressing in the comp lab here and not worrying so much abt my comp so maybe that's why i'm feeling better.

k gtg see ya.

Currently Listening To: We Still Kill The Old Way - Lostprophets