Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What She Did For Him Fueled My Disappointment

so maybe she was a little tipsy. and it didn't really mean that much then.

but what i was amazed by was, when she found out that her bf probably wouldn't like it that she was drinking. PROBABLY.

she freaked out. cuz she didn't want to do anything to make him sad/angry. she immediately let him know abt what happened and apologized. and this also with a probability only that he'll not be okay with it.

then she said she'll nvr want to drink again. and she'll want to find out everything he doesn't like and not do it.

that's how much she wanted him.

and that's why i admire it so much. she wants him so much she'll do pretty much anything to make him not be sad. and then there's also the fact that before he found out, she told him.

this is why she's awesome. and all this done on PROBABLY. smth that hasn't been sure yet.

and that's why i feel extremely disappointed abt what has happened to me.

after trying so hard. and trying to ignore the hurt and all other feelings brought by this, i still can barely get anything like that.

there is no want. none at all. or at least, it feels like just words from ur side.

and then i realised, i guess i'm just that not worth it.

no matter how perfect i try to make myself to be, i shall nvr be worth it enough.

why? i just don't get it.

haih. not worth it. smth i'll have to deal with i guess.

so really, i guess now i have something to be depressed abt.

why couldn't i just be worth it?

my life sucks.

Currently Watching: Lost - Season 6 Episode 4