I Hate The World Feeling

i'm damn emo again. its gonna be like this for the next few dunno when.

i feel like crying.

why.

Why.

i failed yet again.

i hate everything.


my heart broke. again.

i hate this.

HATE.

Currently Listening To: -Too emo for music-

This Is Dana's Fault

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Feeling better a bit now thats all. Still disappointed.



Currently Listening To: Listen To Your Heart - DHT

What Am I Doing Here?

right now, its almost 3 hours more to math test. n yet i havent studied fully everything so that whatever they throw at me will be answered easily. yet, i'm here in the com lab not studying. dunno y. dun really have the mood to study. kinda in an emo mood. =/ must be cuz of the disappointing stuffs. prob cuz of my songs too. but seriously emo now. managed to finish printing, binding and handing up my Chem SRT jus like i told Pn. Sharlina i would. that was supposed to make me happy yet i'm emo-ing. what crap is this la. argh. stupid.

i actually have a lot of nice stuff to blog abt. at least stuff that makes me happy la. but absolutely no mood. n i know y too. haihh.






seriously, if there was that certain award in my life, i sure do know who would win it.

Currently Listening To: If We Are The Body - Casting Crowns

Victory!

hahahaha. got it! i managed to find out. although maybe i cheated a bit. but hey, if its worth hiding its worth me finding out too. haha! =P

kinda feel relieved n less stressed... n also it feels great to be right! haha! of course... credit goes to a certain him for helping to raise suspicion and also give me answers. but now i wanna know how...and why too i guess? but i'll leave that for later la....

its AWESOME to be right! =D

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Anyway, not much happened this week. i got to drive to classes which was kinda cool. but tiring too la. i dunno how u do it week after week joel. Thx! haha. one thing i found out is that the fastest i can get to INTEC from Cendana is about 5 minutes. pretty good time if ure late la. haha. (*note to self: gotta stop touching 140. A bit too dangerous with ppl in the car.)

oh almost got into another accident today. some guy suddenly braked too fast. had to slam the brakes. nth happened tho. good. hmmm. see sol, good thing i din send u back today. i prob wud haf freaked u out. but i still owe u a ride home like i promised n i will drive safely. haha.

one fun thing that happened this week was Darrel's bday. at secret recipe. heh. here r some of the photos la.




oh yeah. we were alo kinda escaping some talk starting at 7 or 8 at cendana so we jus took our time. BUT when we reached back at abt 10.10. The talk was still going on! crap. so we din know what to do and KS jus drove off so i followed. then we sorta stopped somewhere (since trying to discuss from one car to another while driving din work) and jus planned to drive around til its done. So KS took me around to Seksyen 7 and like dunno where. Finally we ended up at the Riot Factory workers roundabout. and everyone was clueless how we got there. Then we went to some menteri street or smth like that. The houses there were like freaking mansions man! like the things u see on tv. except maybe the lawn area was cut off. but the houses itself were huge! like huger than tropicana huge. i'm serious! k. gotta shake off the amazement. k done. after goin donw 'menteri' street. it still wasnt done! n that was abt 10.45. so we went to DaWood n jus lepaked there n sorta mamaked. then went back n it was finally done. at abt 11 la. Damn tired that night. haha.

nth much other than that. Still got my SRT, Chem Lab Report and English Report to do. it has to be done soon! do not procrastinate ben!

hahah! i'm still so high i found out now. XD hahaha. XD

ahahahahhahahahahha!!!

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I'm an addict for dramatics.
I confuse the two for love.
....

Liar. (Liar.)

Liar (It Takes One To Know One) - Taking Back Sunday
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gosh i cant stop smiling. =D

Currently Listening To: Must Have Done Something Right - Relient K

GGaaaaahhhh!!!

It's totally bugging me!!!

i need to know!!!!

i haf to know!!

its like the evidence that shud be there is not there!!!

it disappeared into thin air!!!

crap man....

this has to be one of the most annoying thing that has happened.

GGGaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

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Update:

man. someone is really working hard to make sure i dun get it. to tell her not to tell me too. wow. i mean i see it. jus dun really know what. i haf to know. my KPC-ness isn't helping this situation at all.

i mean if u go so far jus to hide smth. must mean its true n dangerous. which is y i haf to know so much.

if it didnt look like things disappeared, then i guess i wudnt care. but now....

I HAF TO KNOW!!!

Arg! annoyance!

Currently Listening To: Getting Away With Murder - Papa Roach

The Loss of a Loved One

Haih. its such a depressing feeling. i held you very dear to me. esp since you were a part that made me happy. helped me to release all my emotions. happiness, anger, depression and everything else too.

and now none of that will happen anymore between us. ure gone n nvr coming back.

=(




My dear pick. How in the world you broke into 3 pieces i cannot understand. But do know that i love you very much.

='(

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No. I'm not overreacting. i love my barangs la k. even if it is a small pick. it helped me do the one thing on this earth that i love the most. Play guitar. n it was a nice pick too. shiny n plastic-ish. n red too. Haih.

anyway, today BB was fine. normal. started off blazing hot n ended up raining quite heavily. weird weathers. Campers was ok today. had to learn knots. i had to do reef knot which i messed up. i'm such a genius. crap. Drill was bad. =( My team din go as far as the other team n we haf onli one week left. crap. i need to get the commands n all right la. Anyway, i noticed 2 ppl today. one seemed diff today. kinda irritated n all. n sort of a change in attitude. opposite of the real person. but maybe its just the situation today. the other person nvr changed. jus cant stop talking even at times when they shudnt. dunno la. maybe its jus me. i cant stand noise so much. esp when there's other ppl talking n you hear so much noise coming from another side.

ooo. i jus got the cd outta the car. so i'll continue with the song quotes again la. =D

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Keep your hands off my girl!

Keep Your Hands Off My Girl - Good Charlotte

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Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's,
So fitting, so fitting of the way you are.
You can't cover it up. (Can't cover it up.)

I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song - Fall Out Boy

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Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life
What's it like there
Is it all what you want it to be
Does it hurt when you think about me and how broken my heart is

Empty Apartment - Yellowcard

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Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?

Face Down - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

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I never thought you could break me apart
I keep a sinister smile and a hole in my heart 

Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls

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This may never start
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory

.......

This may never start
I'll tear us apart
Can I be your enemy?

Memory - Sugarcult

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Heh. thats another one third for now. rest later. buh-bye!

Currently Listening To: What I've Done - Linkin Park

BTN

heh. so i've been gone two weeks. well one reason was BTN!

for those who dont understand. thats Biro Tatanegara. some compulsory camp which everyone has to go for before leaving the country. or at least the government ppl haf to la.

well, i wudnt say its bad. i actually enjoyed myself. thats thx to my great LDK group mates la of course. had lots of fun with those ppl. n the faci's were cool too la. they fed us 6 times a day too. nice. =P anyway, here's a brief summary of what happened:

First day we reached there din do much, registration bla bla bla... some taklimat... dividing into groups. Hoping to get ppl i know but it wasnt meant to be. the onli one i knew was jeremy n there were some in my group which i had nvr seen before in intec at all. weird eh. like 8 months there i tot i shud haf at least known all the faces of ppl in ausmat. guess not.

2nd day. i made myself famous for stupidity for trying to report in detail when i just shud haf followed the others. crap. well, at least i'm famous. =) ANYWAY, lets not focus on my stupidity. the rest of the day was quite boring. cuz it was talks n ceramahs which jus bore me out of my skull mostly. ended up drawing on my book as usual. the BTN logo came out quite nice. Printed looking. Love it when it comes out that way. nth much other than that for that day.

3rd and 4th day. LDK's! the best part of the whole camp for me la. cuz had fun talking letting out opinions n all. felt more confident in the group. oh yeah i forgot to mention that i was 'elected' to be group leader. but i din do much. i wud say Akmal did most of the work. heh. sry. wasn't born to lead. =P. oh the 4th day was the last night to study for the last day's exam which has to be passed. but.... ended up waiting for a call that wud nvr come. n went back to the room and ended up chatting with KS abt girls n what we've been through. n i think its safe to concluded that girls are just incapable of being loyal. not onli from what we talked abt but from what i've gone through and what i've heard from others and also seen. so in the end i nvr did manage to finish studying that night.

the last day. test day. thx to not finished studying. i found the test super freaking hard. i'm so gonna die. i haf a huge feeling i'm gonna haf to sit for a retest.... i sooo dun want that to happen. haihh... eventho i enjoyed the camp i dun wanna go back la.. ish. HAIHH!!!! k after the test we had our kembara. which is sorta like a walk through the ladang kelapa sawit la mostly. haha. but there was a stream with knee deep mud to cross which made it interesting n all too. ended up walking barefoot all the way to camp cuz i din want to get my shoes dirty. hey, i love my shoes k.
the onli bad part was walking over the tar on the way back to camp. that was like literally boiling the soles of my feet. so camp ended on that day... finally...... then reached back cendana had to repack n take a cab to subang jus to make it for BB. kinda cool when ure not in uni. not under any rules. heh. but it feels jus way too weird at the same time too la. its better in uni. haha.


so that was camp. glad its over. next sunday will be the rest of the JPA ppls turn. muahahahahah!!! enjoy guys!

last week was horrible! =( moral final exam which i wish i remembered what i studied. everyone around me was writing like super long essay n mine was less than a page. gosh i jus know i'm not gonna do well. at least i passed la. thats the good side of it. then we had a chem which the answers just refused to come to my head whereas i jus read it. n Pn. Sharlina is so gonna slaughter me. she already does hate me. my horrible marks will jus push her off the edge. haihh... honestly at times i think that i'm the dumbest non-bumi in ausmat la. gotta study harder!!!!! stress man! got ppl like Karen n Jim coming out from the exam finding it ok n me finding it so hard. gosh. so gonna die. ='(

oh i just burnt a new cd! with all my latest songs I find nice. of course there were some recomendations from su teng n julian n caleb for some songs la. haha. pleased with the cd. dun haf to skip any songs. tho i find the cd a bit short. well before i leave here are some lines from the songs. meaningful lines. *Please be advised: The lines which shall be listed below does not have anything to do with the author of this blog's feelings or thoughts about anyone or anything.

Well, maybe some are. that you figure out la. ;)

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Sometimes i swear i can see straight through you...

Error: Operator - Taking Back Sunday

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Sometimes I say things that
I wish I could take back

......

Yeah, I gotta keep quiet, quiet
Don't let it all come undone
Cause if I dare open my mouth
It'll just be to bite my tongue
To bite my tongue

Bite My Tongue - Relient K

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Thanks for the memories
Even if they were'nt so great....

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

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Well, maybe I should hate you for this,  (Maybe I should hate you for this.)
Never really did ever quite get that far. 
Maybe I should hate you for this,  (Maybe I should hate you for this.)
Never really did ever quite get that... 

I'd never lie to you, 
Unless I had to. I'll do what I got to. 
Unless I had to. I'll do what I got to. 
The truth is you could slit my throat, 
And with my one last gasping breath, 
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt. 

You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday

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K thats all i haf for now. The cd is in the car n i'm too lazy to go back to the car to remember what songs are in the cd so i can post up the lines. So i'll leave it for another day la the rest. haha.

k i got some prison break to watch now. bye!

Currently Listening To: You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday