It Just Reaches That Point

life's not fair.

and it will never be.

no matter how much effort u put into smth, it'll just turn bad.

there's no way of getting what you deserve.

so best choice is to give up.

who would have thought?

Currently Listening To: Boston - Augustana

I Don't Give Myself Enough Credit

i always thought to myself that i'm incapable of keeping a secret that has to do with me.

don't know why, but i always thought i can't keep my mouth shut.

but i guess, until you actually screw up bad enough, you won't try as hard to hide it.

only then, will a person do everything to hide.

hmmm

Currently Listening To: Set Phasers To Stun - Taking Back Sunday

It's Like A Magnet Repeling

it sucks to know that no matter what, i will always be the last to know abt anything.

somehow, it's like it's always like i don't need to know.

whether it's close friend or not, i will always be the last to know.


why??

do i give out some sort of aura that says, "oh ben shouldn't/doesn't need to know abt this."


damnit why can't i know.


it's always like that.

i need to figure out what about me makes ppl not tell me anything. hmm

Currently Listening To: Dirty Little Heart - Lostprophets

The World, Just Isn't Right

it's just not right i tell you.


for now, there's ppl, whom the whole world should be making fun of, but they don't. why? cuz they're nice. so they treat the person normal.

so fine. ppl are nice. that's fine and normal and right.


BUT, the messed up part is the weird ppl are the ones making fun of ppl!

like come on. that's not right, why is the weirdo making fun of ppl??

langsung tak sedar diri man.


like ppl show graciousness and be kind to weirdo, but weirdo is happily being mean to other ppl.


figures huh.


once again proving that nice guys/ppl finish last.

Currently Watching: Scrubs - Season 5 Episode 10

Repeat The Year

looks like im gonna have to repeat this year.

cuz it'll take a miracle right now to pass my subjects which i had exam for.

if only i could catch what's going on. haih.


my biggest worry right now is that will JPA still keep me or i'm gonna get cut off.

haih.

it is shocking and depressing at the same time.

u gotta buck up ben. come on.


haih.

Currently Listening To: Don't Stop Believing - Glee Cast

Can't Focus!

i sit here in the glade attempting to study for my exam which start in 45mins.

and i just can't concentrate.

thinking abt life. and things i wanna blog abt.


life oh life, why couldn't you have just been ordinary? then things wouldn't be messed up.


yes i know i shouldn't be complaining. and i shouldn't be thinkin abt those stuff.

but yeah. it doesn't go away easy.

i'm sry.


gotta try harder!

Currently Doing: Studying for ENME339

Inspirational Advice From My Mom

read.

now apply it.

Currently Listening To: Wasting Time (Eternal Summer) - Four Year Strong

Cut Down

1st year

2nd year

this year. ,...

like wow totally cut down. and it's like half a year already!

it's weird. cuz now, we just go casino lepak and town like not that much compared to the last two years.

they always say that 2nd year is the year you screw up. and i look at the pic and i'm like wow. quite accurate ah. esp know that's like less than half of what i actually had the whole year.

sooooo. who wants to go liquorking? i got some Corona i want to buy. ;D

Currently Listening To: Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls

Son Of A Biscuit!

stay away from my future!

>:(


not cool at all!

i was pretty sure i was past this.

grrr.

Currently Watching: Scrubs - Season 4 Episode 1

You

Dear You,

I love you.

Love,
Me

:)



p.s.: for those who don't know, i'm just writing to myself. haha! :D

Currently Listening To: Damn Regret - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Just Be Normal. Thanks.

yes. it's true. i absolutely can't stand gay guys.

and when i say that, i mean like those ppl who act like bapuks.

it's just waayyy too disturbing and weird for me.

but it's funny, i know ppl who are actually gay, but they don't act like that. and those ppl i'm fine with. i don't support them being gay. but i can tolerate them.

it's those guys who act like girls who just freak and disturb the hell outta me. ppl like Kurt Hummel from Glee. gosh i can't stand that freak.

some guys do it for fun, but i dunno if you notice, but once they start, the more gay they get. and the more it's disturbing to me. and ten bucks says they don't even notice that they're becoming gay-er.

and it's funny how sometimes, ppl don't want you in stuff just cuz u don't act gay enough.

well then. i guess i'm too cool to be gay. and u know what, that's exactly how it's supposed to be. so if you don't want me in your stuff, i'm sure as hell happy to stay away from gayness. :)

Currently Listening To: When Your Heart Stops Beating - +44

My First Kiss

My first kiss went a little like this
And twist
And twist

[Ke$ha]
Well my first kiss went a little like this
And twist
And twist

[Verse]
I said no more teachers
And no more books
I got a kiss under the bleachers
Hoping that nobody looks
Lips like liquorish
Tongue like candy
Excuse me miss but can I get you out your panties?

[Hook]
In the back of the car
On the way to the bar
I got you on my list
[I got you on my list]
At the foot of the stairs
With my fingers in your hair
Baby, this is it

[Chorus]
She won’t ever get enough
Once she gets a little touch
If I had it my way,
You know that I’d make her say
Ooooooh
Ooooooh

She won’t ever get enough
Once she gets a little touch
If I had it my way,
You know that I’d make her say
Ooooooh
Ooooooh


[Verse]
Well my first kiss went a little like this
I said no more sailors
And no more soldiers
With your name in a heart
Tattooed up on the shoulders
Your kiss is like whiskey
It gets me drunk
And I wake up in the morning with the taste of your tongue


[Hook]
In the back of the car
On the way to the bar
I got you on my list
[I got you on my list]
At the foot of the stairs
With my fingers in your hair
Baby, this is it

[Chorus]
She won’t ever get enough
Once she gets a little touch
If I had it my way,
You know that I’d make her say
Ooooooh
Ooooooh

She won’t ever get enough
Once she gets a little touch
If I had it my way,
You know that I’d make her say
Ooooooh
Ooooooh


[3OH!3]
My first went a little like this
And twist
And twist
[Ke$ha]
Well My first kiss went a little like this
And twist
And twist

[Chorus]
She won’t ever get enough
Once she gets a little touch
If I had it my way
You know that I’d make her say
Ooooooh
Ooooooh

[Chorus]
She won’t ever get enough
Once she gets a little touch
If I had it my way,
You know that I’d make her say
Oooooooh
Oooooooh
She won’t ever get enough
Once she gets a little touch
If I had it my way,
You know that I’d make her say

3Oh!3 ft Ke$ha

:)

Currently Listening To: My First Kiss - 3Oh!3 ft Ke$ha

Forgive You

i know i'm supposed to.

and i know i eventually will.

but just maybe it'll be just before i die.

or maybe even i won't.


but for now, i can't. cause once again, you're asking me to give and you're just gonna take.

i refuse to be used.

so if you're not gonna try and make any effort to make things right, and u just plan to sit there and let everything come to you, then screw you. i'm not doing anything.


what you did is unacceptable.

i refuse to forgive it with a fake sorry you don't even mean.

remember, words mean shit.

so seriously, u have come to me with nothing, so i'm gonna leave you with nothing.

go screw yourself. leave me alone. i'm fine this way. :)

Currently Listening To: Telephone - Lady GaGa ft Beyonce

Life's Ironies

my life just has all these weird contradictions (i don't even know if contradictions is the right word. i think irony would suit better. if u find a better word let me know. thx). which, well can actually suck.

it's stuff like,

liking to draw. but dunno how to draw. :(

can sing and play kinda complex guitar parts. but don't have the voice to sing. :(

likes to play guitar. but not good at it. :(


yeah. it's sucks how life's like that.

i'll post more when i can think of them.

Currently Listening To: She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5