So The Way I Treat You Would Depend On Who You Are

i was thinking, in some way, and not like i don't love them and all, but my parents coming here at the end of the year is really gonna be weird. =/

i mean, this here is my life without my parents. and i'm happy here. i don't have to worry about doing anything for anyone. i don't feel obliged to. but when parents come, and knowing them, they're gonna expect so much and want me to do so much. which is what i don't really want la. i mean they want this, why can't they organise it. i didn't ask them to come either. they want to come. haih. *which reminds me, i haven't called home for more than 3 weeks already and i feel indifferent*

i'd rather be left alone. i like being alone. somehow i find joy in a way from being alone.

i guess i'm just lazy and i don't want to be the one organising things for others. i guess i'm selfish too.


BUT right, someone made a comment abt coming to NZ. and i just thought, hey what if she came. and i realised that if she did, i would actually probably take the trouble to organise something. maybe cuz i would want her to come anyway.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

such different feelings for different ppl.

p.s.: the new blog hasn't even been started yet. so chillax. and if you think i wouldn't mind you reading it, then let me know if u want the link.

Currently Listening To: All I Am - Youth Alive

I Read Your Story

my problem is, i can read ppl. esp ppl i've been around a lot.

i know when they're acting real and when they're not.

i know when they mean what they say and when they don't.

i know when they think they mean what they say but they really don't.

i know when they're playing the person they want to be as opposed to who they are.

i know their true intentions.

i guess you could say, i'm seeing through the person you're portraying, and look str8 at your subconscience.

a.k.a. the real you.

"Sometimes I swear i can see right through you..."

Taking Back Sunday

but somehow i don't like this, eventhough it's what's been helping me survive against certain people. cuz i can see how they twist their words and try to be fake.

so if it helps, why don't i like it?

Currently Listening To: The Small Print - Muse

Anonymous

i don't like being known.

it restricts my freedom of speech.

Currently Listening To: Crushcrushcrush/Faint - Paramore/Linkin Park

For The Second Time

What if....


i lied?

hmmm.


*****

don't say you miss me or love me.

cuz i won't say it back.

that goes for all of you too.

Currently Listening To: Where My Mouth Is - Taking Back Sunday

My Decision To Move

k i think i've come to a decision to move. blogs i mean. which i will tell some ppl only. and once you know, i'd prefer you not link it. thx. :) clearly i don't want it to be found since i'm not saying it out here.

Currently Listening To: Kenangan Terindah - Samsons

Wu Liao

k so i was bored and decided to make a video and play around with it with Windows Media Player. haha. the video is just me trying to do an ollie. need more practice. :)



Currently Listening To: Swing - Taking Back Sunday

Albums Worth Buying

k so i sifted to my songs and found the albums worth buying a.k.a soon i shall add to my collection if i find it cheap enough. haha. why am i posting it here? cuz i recommend them to you and also so if i forget what i wanna buy then i can come back here and check.

Currently Listening To: Highway - Ingrid Michaelson

What A Great Day For Music

just downloaded Linkin Park's New Divide, Taking Back Sunday's New Again and Kate Voegele's Bonus Tracks for her awesome album A Fine Mess.

and now i don't have any internet left.

perfect timing too. great. :)

Currently Listening To: New Divide - Linkin Park

Probably One Of The Most Important Rules

don't forget who you're playing.




i forgot i was dealing with a pro while i was a noob.

no wonder things turned out this way.

(no it ain't about poker)



on a side note, how the hell did you know?

Currently Listening To: Hosanna - Hillsong United

That, I Didn't See Coming

let's start with saying i apparently still have some sort of a heart left still. hmm

k honestly i was and still am disappointed with the way some ppl reacted to the way ppl reacted to a certain performance at the Ilam cultural night event thingy.

to sum the story short, there was a singing performance, and well, let's just say one of the singers really didn't do well in the singing department.

so yeah, he can't sing. and maybe to some it was really bad and a torture to hear. but does it really call for loud outbursts of laughter? one that can be heard throughout the whole hall? is it really so funny to watch ppl not do a good job?

was i the only that day who felt bad for the guy while others laughed at him? i mean come on. this guy is a first year. he is at least daring enough to go up and perform. in front of SO MANY people. not even just with us Malaysians. can you imagine the embarassment he would have felt from being up there being laughed at? in front of everyone?

i dunno why i feel so bad for him and so disappointed by the way his own countrymen reacted. heck i hardly know the guy. maybe i feel this way cuz i know i can't sing either and i wouldn't want to be laughed at in front of everyone. i guess the ppl who were laughing can sing really well. so maybe they have the right to laugh at ppl who don't do so well. i dunno, maybe that's the way things are these days.

i think what's worse is when people try and rub it in to his face that he didn't do so well. making comments to him later after everything is over. esp when it's coming from someone i already don't like and whom i think thinks highly of himself.

think about it, what if you mustered courage to go do something in front of a huge audience and what u end up getting is being laughed at in front of everyone, how would you feel?

but then again, maybe i'm just weird to care so much about how ppl reacted to someone who is just an acquaintance. it's not normal i guess. i guess i'm still shocked and in disappointment.

it's probably just easier to laugh at people's shame.

Currently Listening To: Everything Must Go - Taking Back Sunday

Apathy

i found the word. perfect. yeah it's an old song, but somehow it just called to me from nowhere. weird. but awesome. and i found a super high quality version of the song with another track that i nvr had which i was supposed to have. so yeah. this song is pretty meaningful at the moment.

Apathetic Way To Be

Yeah, I'm not angry
And no, I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile
But this is what I've learned
Emotional attachment is really not a threat
When I'm simply not concerned

The things that I take on
I soon shrug off
'cause I know no one
Will ever be content
With the way things are
Or with what they've got
So I've given up and now I'm just indifferent

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

I must admit;
All the words you spoke, I hated
Cause I don't see just how I can be motivated
Enough to break a sweat over a dying race
It seems our fate is something we've already embraced

Yeah, I'm not angry,
And no, I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile
But this is what I've learned
Emotional attachment is really not a threat
When I'm simply not concerned

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

Yeah, bein' apathetic's a pathetic way to be
(I don't care)
What matters to you does not matter to me
('cause I don't care)

So take a wild guess
It's like I just couldn't care less
If all the things you find impressive
Just blew up and made those messes
That you'll frantically repair
Like it's a life or death affair
And all the while you're unaware
For this, you really shouldn't care
But it's so hard to see the reality
That the end will be the end of things
And our hearts are all we get to bring
So let's go ahead and make them worth something

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

I'm well aware that everything
Is a far cry from all right
I'm well aware that all of us
Can at times, be too uptight
And possibly, the remedy
Is a dose of apathy
You point your finger at you
I'll point mine right back at me

Relient K

apathy. it's killing me yet keeping me alive at the same time.

Currently Listening To: Apathetic Way To Be - Relient K

Thank You Mr. Stranger

"nah it's really good"



:)

i don't know why, it's not much. but it feels and means SO MUCH to me. :) it feels like the word 'really' REALLY made a difference.

makes me happy to know it's really good to somebody. :)

i shall not talk more as i have embark on a mission to not be perasan. (yes again. i shall try to persevere this time. :) )

Currently Listening To: What's It Feel Like To Be A Ghost? - Taking Back Sunday

It Just Figures La

it's just my life la. really. it'll only happen to me. the like probably only time my dad stumbles onto FB using my sis' account, it just happens to be at that moment where my face is on the wall abt the kissing thing.

gr8 la. this type of thing seems to only happen to me. i mean COME ON! what are the odds?? sheeeessshhh.

i'm still on break. actually not really break. i feel i can't really blog here anymore. i shall explain in the next post. or somewhere else. so yeah. see ya. again.

Currently Listening To: Mind Trick - Jamie Cullum

I....

need a break.

see ya.

Currently Listening To: Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low

Apparently Light Attracts People Too

this is THE MAN.

don't mess with THE MAN.

Currently Listening To: Violence - blink-182

It's Like They're Psychic Or Something

k facebook quizzes i must say are cekap. they know what they're talkin abt. :)

k that's a short post. which is understandable. right? :P

Currently Listening To: Geek In The Pink - Jason Mraz

Staring Blanks

he say there pondering what to say. cuz he wanted to say the right thing without making it look weird.

Currently Listening To: Cliffdiving - +44