Unexpected Flow

this is my drawing assignment. its not complete apparently. but last night i was too satisfied with myself to care about that. damn happy di. its very hard ok. u cant use ruler to draw ANY of the lines. AT ALL. the circle also must draw free hand k. seriously.

so today i jus basically din do anything. looked at a bit of math la. but i wont count that as doin anything productive. i'm celebrating my doneness of my Engr Assignment.

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learnt in Life Group that i need to be kind to ppl who don't deserve it. but its soo hard. i've been too kind to certain ppl already. and i'm ALWAYS taken for granted for that. its come to a point i HATE being kind. more like fend for myself. cuz everyone is gonna give you shit, so might as well throw it back too. the only ppl i'll help are those ppl who help me and are nice. and thats like the most pathetic thing. anyone loves those who love them. i have to do one better. for one thing i don't want to end up like you. seriously. i want to become kinder. but to those certain ppl? i wonder. after all, they're jus gonna use me, take advantage of me. i'm going to be taken for granted just like they always have. and cuz of what they did i hurt in the end. i put so much effort and get crap back. so i dunno if i'll be kind if i see you. i;m supposed to. but i dunno if i will.

cuz heck. everything you've done is based on what i do. if i'm nice, you're nice. if i'm pissed off you go do smth stupid. if i don't wish you, you do the same. why must it always follow me? why must you make me as an excuse? a way out so u can mess up? a place to blame. i'm changing that now. now i'm jus gonna live how i want to. i'm not gonna jaga every move i make so you don't decide to do smth stupid as well. cuz i really dun wanna care anymore. caring is jus too tiring with certain ppl. afterall, the worst i expected you to do, you will go beyond my expectation and do worse. so i'm done with hoping the best eventho i expect the worst. i know now ure capable of doin worse than i expect. when will it ever be my turn to react based on what you do? when will you be nice and caring to me when i don't care about you? when will it ever be not one sided? when will you be the person you know you should be? i think i've been that person. but seeing it was useless and pathetic (esp to you), i've given that up. i'm gonna live like you. no right and wrong. just do whatever that makes me happy.

cuz hey, you got what you wanted and was happy right?

i wanna be happy too.

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ok that was unexpected. din mean to jus burst. but unfortunately its true. and i'd prefer no comments on that. not here not in real life not on msn or anywhere. jus let it be.

crazy la. its like one am now. i'm like jus waiting online for smth to happen. and this happens. weird. but its still not enough. i know that tmrw it'll be the same thing again. i'm gonna come online. and wait for smth to happen. open Windows Live Messenger and close it again. open Mozilla and go to StatCounter jus to close it. and open it 3 minutes later again. its like damn zombiefying.

i should SLEEP! so why am i here waiting?!!

giler punye orang.

what u think ure waiting for aint never gonna happen! get in touch with reality fool. like seriously. ure wasting ur beloved sleep staying online for NOTHING. i mean instead of jus opening and closing programs do smth useful la! like maybe reply those emails to those ppl u supposed to reply. make more random call to one of ur frens! do ur freaking Math Assignment. u think so easy is it?? study! u know u have no idea what ure learning in Chem. go read up or smth la. STOP WASTING TIME HERE ONLINE! i think you should jus throw ur laptop away la. seriously.

k starting from next month u'll see less of me k. hopefully. its best for everyone i'm sure. like how i'm sure u guys are tired of reading some crazy guy talking. or maybe u find it interesting. i know caleb will find it interesting la. haha!

ok ok i gtg. sleep. got another Chem class tmrw. hopefully i know what the crap is goin on.

p.s.: i jus realised tying hair aint that easy. when doing it for yourself la. do for others can. ish.

Currently Listening To: Big Machine - Goo Goo Dolls