Even When Things Go Well, They End Up Bad

(another post i've been thinkin of the past few days but had no idea how to put it out in words. so if it doesn't make sense u know why la.)

its screwed up isn't it? well for now i'm jus referring to one topic actually. and it concerns the latest SPM and STPM results and the ppl who did well.

i bet ure prob thinkin how can it go bad if i did well?

there are lots of ways.


but the most important one is all ur "frens" who din do as good as u. they will end up making it hell for u jus cuz of ur results. can u imagine the next time u have an exam and say ure worried abt it? everyone is gonna look at u like "whats ur problem? ure soo smart right with all the str8 A's and all. what the heck are u complaining abt? ure obviously gonna do well." they find it irritating cuz they think ure jus messing around with them and trying to act like one of them who are not smart and think they're the ONLY ppl who are allowed to worry for the exam.

some of u know what i'm talking abt already. to those who din do well: well i'm sry that i studied hard for my previous exams and did well ok. while u were busy having fun and relaxing and enjoying life, i spent my time in front of my books so i could get the good results i got. it wasn't easy at all. it wasn't fun. but was it worth it? hell yea. so i dun need u guys pulling me down and trying to make me feel bad for doing well.

yes its obvious ure jealous of the good results i got. but dun blame me for u not studying and choosing to live the life u led. if u fucked up ur results stop trying to vent ur frustration at those who did well.

i know this feeling. esp being a JPA scholar. its suppsoed to b a good thing to get a scholarship. but the screwed up ppl around me make it bad. can u imagine that ppl jus treat a whole lot different JUST because u did well? jus because ure on a scholarship?

i've heard ppl say "... well, at least i'm not like one of those nerds who study so hard who did so well and got that JPA scholarship". so yea i'm now a nerd la. well for me prob i am. but i know tons of ppl who aren't. they're gr8 at sports, they're awesome and supporting frens. they're frenly ppl. there's this one guy from Uni now who's representing NZ in the upcoming Olympics. is that a nerd? everyone knows u haf to do well to get into Uni. so obviously he studied hard to get in. but is he a nerd?

there's also ppl who say " ya la u. go and get the JPA scholarship all. now u haf to live in Shah Alam and stay so far. now u miss out on the stuff back at home. too bad la. go get the scholarship somemore." yea. thx for making me getting the scholarship such a "gr8" thing for me.

then there's the papers also. i heard from a fren that the papers said that its not the A's that matter but the human skills. well thats true of course. but y is the papers trying to make the ppl who din do well feel good and ok. cuz its not ok. now the ppl who din do well think "oh A's are nth and those ppl who did get str8 A's are idiots for working so hard." thats so shit ok. for one thing, think abt this, do u think u cud get into Uni/Coll with shit results? if they had to choose between crap results and gr8 results who do u think they'll pick? sure u can argue that its not jus good results thats gonna get u through LIFE. but then i ask u, if u cant even get into UNI/COLL and GRADUATE, u think LIFE is gonna b so gr8? yea sure. go ahead and jus survive with ur human skills. and thank you papers for giving false hope.

and there are also some of us who work hard just to purposely get the scholarship. why? so that we dun have to burden our parents. paying all the tuition fees and all that. and everyone knows that if u want a proper recognized degree and stuff its better to get them overseas. and not many of us can actually pay for it ourselves. i nvr wanted to go overseas to study engineering cuz i know it wud b hell on my parents to pay. my main plan was to go Form 6 and then go to UM to do engineering. cuz it wud cost the least to my parents. so yea i worked hard, though hardly as hard as others, to become a "Straight A Freak" jus to get the scholarship.

and being in INTEC was prob one of the gr8est times. cuz when ppl studied, hardly anyone was gonna say "oh that nerd studying." cuz everyone were all those who worked hard and studied hard. it was gr8 being among ppl who dun judge u as a nerd jus cuz u wanna do well.

so to those who did well for ur SPM and STPM, hopefully u dun get what i got. and u have gr8 frens. who eventho they din do well, they're still happy for u. and they still support u and dun treat u diff. and even if they do. jus remember that its all worth it. dun ever stop working hard and doing well jus so ur frens accept u. dun ever!

to my frens who have been gr8 to me and not treated me diff:

Thank You.

to those who changed just because of my results:

Screw You.

I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy
A place for my head

Linkin Park

(hmm. i dunno how that turned out. hopefully u guys understood what i'm trying to say. yes i guess i was kinda pissed off when i wrote this.)

Currently Listening To: Place For My Head - Linkin Park