Up To My Limit

i just cannot cannot cannot take this anymore.

everything is just not fair.

I feel the pressure building up inside my head

Find My Way Back - Four Year Strong

please please please at least let the talk that's going to happen relieve some of this pressure.

i just want it all to end.


just cannot. everywhere i go it's too much.

Currently Listening To: Find My Way Back - Four Year Strong

Patience Limit Of 3

3. that's the number to watch out for.

it's the number of times i'll ask u the same question before u piss me off by not answering.

and actually, answering "i don't want to answer that" is better than totally not answering or avoiding or ignoring the question.

bloody hell, if i have to ask 3 times and u can't answer the question, then sorry la. but i'll just shut you out for a while.

like so hard to answer some not important question like that. don't want to answer just say that la.

sheeeessshh


yes i know i need more patience. but for now, 3 is the limit.

Currently Listening To: All Time Low - Jasey Rae

She Did Bring Up A Good Point

like how long will i stay mad?

i mean, granted i don't care anymore. well sorta.

but when will it all be ok?


well it definitely doesn't seem like anytime soon.

cuz hey, why on earth would i bother with someone who totally doesn't give a damn about apologizing and thinks she's right, right?

i would say the irritating thing is i have to see her everyday, but it really doesn't bother me anymore.

why should i be running?


but most of all, i'm shocked at how arrogant she's being after what she did. goodness, can't believe she's acting as if i'm the one who wrong her and my friends are treating her badly.

some ppl. dunno what to say la.

Currently Listening To: Find My Way Back - Four Year Strong

Dis-Bloody-Like

and the worst of it all,

i hate the fact that i lost someone i can talk about anything to.

and also the fact that it's a one way feeling.

ugh.



and it's hard to get my friends to be doing the right thing, cuz i want them to have a life without regrets and live the best life that they can, when i know i don't believe the words i say. haih.

Currently Listening To: Na Na Na - My Chemical Romance

If You're Wondering What's The Reason, This Would Be It

somehow the image of that person has tied in to that thing i do.

so now, if anything to do with her pops up, i automatically feel the need for one.

well in my defense, it kinda does make me feel better.


damn it. should have brought the pack along.

Currently Listening To: Your Love Is My Drug - Ke$ha

So Then Now, What Do I Do?

i hate the way she's affecting my plans.

what do i do?

avoid her?

or just go, hang around friends, and ignore her.


bloody hell. damn kacau.


So do what now?

Currently Watching: One Tree Hill Season 8 Episode 8 - Mouthful of Diamonds

Can't Be Just Me Right???

today, i found out, that 16 year olds use perfumes priced at abt RM270. and, apparently this is normal.


i'm in shock.


someone pls tell me that i'm not crazy for thinking that's a ridiculous amount to spend on perfume.

and also that it's ridiculous that a SIXTEEN year old is the one with the ridiculously expensive perfume.

and also that it's not normal.


i still believe this is insane. and parents are really spoiling and manja-ing their kids.

Currently Listening To: Error: Operator - Taking Back Sunday

Add This To The List Of Things I Don't Like About Me

i really don't like how i complain abt stuff before actually "experiencing" the thing.

why? cuz then when the thing isn't so bad, i end up wrong. and well, i hate being wrong.


so now, i guess i have to take back abt complaining abt her. cuz i really did enjoy her company. it was fun honestly. and well, she was the only reason, i just sat there and studied, instead of going off to a comp to be distracted.

ah. i should learn to appreciate those ppl who do good in my life more.


Currently Listening To: I Still Remember - Bloc Party

Back Off

bitch, don't you dare do this again.

you already got what you want, so stay the hell away.

the bleedin hell is wrong with you?

STAY.

AWAY.

>:(

Currently Listening To: Duck Sauce - Barbara Streisand

Sien

gr8. another girl who doesn't know when to just let it go. zzzz

Currently Listening To: Find My Way Back - Four Year Strong

Well, Yes, That Is Creepy When I Don't Know You

seriously who are you. i reckon i probably do know you.

so who is someone who's searching for me, but doesn't really know my real name?

hmmm.

u spent damn long on here searching for smth.

so what is it u r looking for?

don't be so stalkish and creepy.

u can always ask me stuff u wanna know. i'm really not as secretive as you would think (hence, the blog spilling stuff abt me.)

SO

WHO ARE YOU??

Currently Listening To: Company Car - Switchfoot

You Got To Be Kidding Me

honestly, at this moment in my life, all i can say is,

MY LIFE SUCKS. MLS (cuz i don't wanna say fml cuz that "saying" is making 'fuck' waaaay too casual than it should be. plus i'm not really a person who likes to follow "trends".)

anyway, come on man. everytime smth bad happens, life sucks for a bit. and i say, it's ok, live thru it things will get better. so i raise my patience level. patience level with life i mean. so i'm still normal and not emo on the outside.

and it seems like everytime i do that, before i can even settle my previous problem, another one comes along. like ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

how many times do i have to raise the bloody patience level bar rubbish. this is getting frustrating. how crappy life is becoming.

no it's not easy to always try and look on the bright side of things. and be nice and be polite.

patience is running out.

there's only so high i can raise that bar.

Currently Listening To: You've Got The Love - Florence + The Machine

It's Like An Uncurable Disease!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

THE MOMENT I DELETE THOSE SPAM COMMENTS IN THE CHATTER BOX, NEW ONES APPEAR.

IT'S LIKE SOME HYDRA!

CUT OFF ONE HEAD, THREE MORE APPEAR.

RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


DAMN SPAMMERS.

Currently Listening To: Toxic - A Static Lullaby

I Want To Highlight Certain Lines

but every single word suits. every single word.

read.

When I Get Home, You're So Dead

The words are coming I feel terrible
Is it typical for us to end like this
Am I just another scene
From a movie that you've seen 100 times
Cause baby you weren't the first or the last or the worst
And I've got to fill the blanks in the past with a verse
And we could sit around and cry but frankly your not worth it
Anymore

So say hello to all the boys at the top of this table that your under
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time
And baby I understand that your making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry

On any other day I'd shoot the boy
But your simple toy
Had caused a scene like this
Leave him hanging on the walls
Just a picture in the hall
Like 100 more
Consider this as a gift as you taste him on your lips
And he's making you scream with his hands on your hips
I hope he's leaving you empty baby this is just a fix
For such a simple little whore

So say hello to all the boys at the top of this table that your under
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time
And baby I understand that your making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry

And your name remains the same
All that has changed is this pretty face

So pull the trigger
It never gets closer
You want to start over
But never start over
(x2)

So say hello to all the boys at the top of this table that your under
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time
And baby I understand that your making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry

Say hello, say hello ohh
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time
And baby I understand that your making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry

Mayday Parade

and yes. even the ones u didn't think applies, applies.

who'd have thought, lying would actually turn out to be worth it.

Currently Listening To: ...To Be Loved - Papa Roach

This Is What Happens When You Get Away With Everything

you don't change. at all.

and u expect the world to just forgive.

no remorse. no regret at all.

and i'm still the bad guy throughout all this.


i'm am so pissed off right now, that's i'm gonna stop here before i start swearing.

leaving me alone, would be a good idea right abt now.

Currently Listening To: The Catalyst - Linkin Park

Is This Proof Enough?

so it's like 4am. and i'm doing some busybodying and stalking. and i found something horrible out.

and it sucks. this proves that bad things happen to good ppl.

and it's damn bloody annoying.

and the horrible ones, get away with everything. like COME ON.


bloody hell. it's pissing off.


damn. i feel horrible for her. esp cuz she's awesome. and she was good to him.

why oh why does life suck like this. it's unfair. =/

Currently Listening To: Everyday I Love You Less and Less - Kaiser Chiefs

So Apparently I'm Kinda Mean

so here's the thing, i got this friend organising this thing. and in the thing, there's like this entertainment part, which a member in her thing is organising. and, this person, let's name her A.

So A, thinks she knows it all, wants to do everything her way and won't listen to other ppls suggestions. not even her superiors a.k.a my friend.

so my plan, which i mentioned to ppl when we were talking about this issue is this: when A's entertainment thing is done on the event day, i would casually walk behind her, while (acting like i'm) talking to my friend and say "Yeah, this thing is pretty awesome, cept for that entertainment bit which was crap." loud enough so she can hear it.

and surprisingly, a lot of ppl were shocked at how mean i am/could be, which btw, i def don't think i'm being mean at all. which is kinda weird. i mean, hey, this girl is being a bitch thinkin she's right and not listening to my friend who is actually the leader of the whole thing. so yeah, why should i be nice to someone who's being a bitch to my friend? and yeah, i do think being "mean" to her is justifiable.

hey, she's my friend, i'd def have her back if ppl mess with her. and yes, that includes being mean to those who mess with her.

i'm not mean. i've just got my friend's back.

:)

Currently Listening To: Guernica - Brand New

The Cursed Shirt

seriously la. i'm like speechless.

k first of all, understand this. i do not like doing the work that is needed to iron a shirt. it's just a lot of work to me. and i don't like work.

so the master plan is, don't wash a shirt as often so i don't have to iron a shirt that often.

so since i'm here in NZ, that makes not washing the shirt way easier. cuz you def don't sweat so ur shirt won't get dirty. and, those who know me, know i wear a t-shirt inside, so my shirt won't get whatever sweat that may come.

so it's like perfect! shirt not dirty, no need wash, no need to iron. no need to work. settle.


k so why cursed shirt? this is why. i have this shirt. as soon as i iron, the next day confirm have to wash.

the first time, i ironed for the Vegas ball. then that night, got drunk then got puke on the shirt. so fine have to wash. and my fault also.


but today! i tried my best! but still it got dirty right after ironing it last night. and this time not by me! it's like, if i don't screw up, then the universe will find someone else to screw it up for me. shoh.

and it's like, i ironed the shirt damn nice already. like professionally ironed i must say. then feeling all awesome and all wearing it.

then went to subway for lunch. and halfway thru eating, i realised how messy subway is. then i was like crap. i looked down at my shirt and said to myself "k gotta eat careful. don't wanna wash this now do you?"

so i ate carefully, and i finished! then i look down, and no drop on my (still awesomely ironed) shirt! wah i was like damn proud and happy. :D

so was clearing up my stuff going to throw away, then suddenly i felt a drop on my shirt. i look down. and :O:O:O there's a blob of sauce on it. and i'm like HOW IN THE WORLD DID THE SAUCE GET THERE?? i ate finish already!

then i find out, friend next to me dropped it. how in the world it can reach so far and land on my shirt, i have no idea.

HAIH. even when i try my best not to mess up the shirt, it still gets messed up.

now have to wash. and IRON again my shirt.

damn cursed shirt.

Currently Listening To: Bite My Tongue - Relient K

The More I Think Of...

yeah who am i kidding

WHEN i think of it. it just doesn't add up.

no way that could happen without the want for it to happen.

and no i don't believe it just happened once. it prob went on for quite a while.

and really how does one do that and not think of it's effects.

i realise now u chose to ignore them. cuz it wasn't important as claimed to be.

what i never understood is why lie to me?

u shud have just said that you didn't want, instead of asking me to hope even more.

oh well, i guess i deserved it for being forgiving.


yeah. this is why i can't forgive i guess. still way too pissed off. and nth to resolve.

the only good part is, i'm learning to live with all this. so yeah, i may suffer. but maybe the future will be better.


and cool. HIMYM just taught me smth. i shudn't be keeping stuff from my past.

gotta get rid of them soon. well this hols will do then.

Currently Watching: How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 17

Talk Talk

when people talk about me, and i don't know about what, or who did it, it pisses me the hell off.

yeah. i'm secretive like that. i like maintaining a low profile.

so it's pretty much, if i tell you stuff, then u shud know stuff.


so it's annoying as when ppl find out stuff about me and i don't know how they know or who told them.

and attempting to lie makes it worse.

yeah, guess u forgot i can tell.


Currently Listening To: Cute Without The 'E' (Cut from the Team) - Taking Back Sunday