Wasted

It jus seems like it was all for nth. everything I said jus wasted. like it din mean anything. like it wud nvr mean anything.

it makes me wonder. of all the things I’ve said, all the advice I’ve given, what have u listened to? am I really giving u bad advice? that u feel u haf no reason to follow?

n the way u say u everything u do depends on me. how can that be? all the things u’ve done or are doin now I’ve nvr done or I’m not doing. so how is it u say u rely on me? I’m starting to see it as just an excuse.

the way u brush what u did off like that seems to tell me like u care abt it. like “oh it happened. too bad. jus forget abt it.” like I know u wud do it again. n it really sux to know that. well, even if u do forget, I’ll still remember.

or will I remember cuz I dunno anything abt it? how it happened? did u plan for it? haih. I wish I knew.

seems like I’m on the outside now. like I’m not supposed to be trusted. n eventho I shud know better and I act as if I dun. I’m acting as if nth happened too. so maybe it’s my fault.
I’m still wondering y u acted that way. wudnt it be easier to tell me that u din wanna continue cuz u weren’t ready for the answer?

I wish I cud make u feel like how I do. n u know, all the things that you do, you wudn like it if I was doin the same things. yet u still do it.

I also realize you said I changed. but you changed too. I see it now.

maybe it’s my fault. but u played a part in this too. n dun say u rely on me. cuz as far as I can see, everything you do is based on what u want. right or wrong doesn’t seem to matter. as long as you can get what you want.

I was wrong to encourage u that day. to make you think it’s ok. I shall hold that guilt with me as long as I live. that I will admit. n it wasn’t right for me to let u think its ok. it still isn’t right.
but what am I doing? y do I stay? why do I feel its my duty to change you? why does it hurt when u do those things which are not right? why do I care?

so far I’ve seen the two reasons ppl can go crazy. one is cuz of pure genius. the other is cuz of love.

I think I fall into the latter category.

heh. so i am crazy huh.

Maybe someday you will grow

Maybe someday you will know

Maybe someday you will end these tears and go

Lostprophets

Currently Listening To: No Such Thing - John Mayer