Even Scrubs Has Good Quotes

and this is just a tiny tiny tiny one of them

Nothing in this world worth having comes easy

Dr. Bob Kelso

Currently Watching: Scrubs 420 - My Boss' Free Haircut
while Currently Listening To: Collide - Howie Day (cuz it was playing in the show =P)

One More Sad Song

i have so much to say. but i'm just so lazy to say what i've been up to. and maybe some things i shouldn't say. so it's probably best to just guess what i'm up to. it's safer.

so here's to my 300th post. and i've got a gr8 nice slow emo song. beautiful i must say.

Sober

And I don’t know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing’s real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I’m still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it’s never really over

And I don’t know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won’t worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I’m still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It’s never really over, no

Wake up

Three months and I’m still standing here
Three months and I’m getting better yeah
Three months and I still am

Three months and it’s still harder now
Three months I’ve been living here without you now
Three months yeah
Three months I hurt

Three months and I’m still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up

Three months and I’m still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

Kelly Clarkson

maybe this emo song is prob why i'm emo now too?

who knows.


anyway, here's to the best American Idol.


Currently Listening To: One More Sad Song - The All-American Rejects

It's Like Psychic Or Something

cuz right, just that day, i was thinking how i haven't seen two of my frens in some time. then sudd as i'm goin out for my afternoon class i see one fren. then later at dinner, i see the other one i was thinking abt. soooo weird. it's like jus when i wonder what in the world happened to them and how come i've nvr seen them in a while, he/she appears. keweirdnessan.

it's like a lot of things i've been thinkin abt are somehow just happening. i had another cool example, but i can't remember it right now.

but it's jus so weird. seriously.

oh ya! now i remember, i was thinkin where was someone during dinner, and then poof! (k not literally la) they sudd appear lining up for dinner. weird betul la.

oh and i heard something quite interesting tonight when i got back. heh. ;)

and i prob shud sleep early as i have a meeting tmrw. hmm. we'll see.

p.s.: SCRUBS is an awesome funny lame and cool show. and very meaningful also.

p.s.2: going to the Health Centre can be beneficial. ;)

p.s.3: I FINALLY GOT TO PLAY AN ELECTRIC GUITAR TODAY! YES MY FIRST TIME SINCE LEAVING MALAYSIA! I AM CRAZY HAPPY. THO I STILL HAVE SO SO SO SO MANY SONGS I WANNA PLAY, I STILL HAD TONS OF FUN! =D THX SO MUCH IAN!

p.s.4: finally saw Iron Man (yes Caleb, i've just seen it today). and it was really cool and all. but somehow like tak sedap hati la. it was really good and all, and i know, but i jus nvr came out with a WOW! THAT SHOW WAS GR8! but the show was really really good. i think? weird. but it sure was cool la. i wanna be IRON MAN! =D

p.s.5: Thx to my new gadget for my sidebar, i managed to join a 7 player COD4 game. haha! and like basically upped 2 levels. which is all good.

p.s.6: I finished my Math Assignment on time with help from so many ppl. i feel so stupid somehow that the simple stuff i cudnt remember at all. it was so annoying. like i'm stupid or smth. dunno whats wrong with me la. hmm. plus there still is that question i'm not satisfied with. hmm. but i', jus glad like the assignments are all finishing up and being done with! =D

p.s.7: TODAY WAS A GR8 DAY. =D

p.s.8: man thats a lot of p.s.s

Currently Listening To: Basket Case - Green Day

Big Mac Chant

yes yes. those of u in Malaysia know all about this Big Mac Chant. but did u know there was a contest abt it?

yea. the contest is to say the Big Mac Chant in a video the most creative way possible. the contest is organized by Nuffnang (Asia's First Blog Advertising Community).

click here for the website. and u can see all the vids ppl have made. seriously, some of them are sooo lame and funny. and some are jus lame and dumb and boring. and the weirdest thing is, the current top with the most votes is jus sooo lame. and not in a good way lame. like seriously, it's so boring. but yea la. somehow got the most votes.

ANYWAY, i jus wanted to put some vids of the some that i saw which are cool. by me at least.

Human Big Mac


Big Mac Saves A Life



Big Mac Thief



Alien Fries!


They Share EVERYTHING!

i think i like the last one the best. and also the human big mac. haha!

let me know what u think.

oh and if u like it, go sign up and vote too! =D

Currently Listening To: Your House - Jimmy Eat World

Autumn Is About 3/4 Gone

and i've got proof too:



see, only 1/4 of the leaves are left on the tree. and everyone knows when it's winter there's no leaves on the tree. so logically, Autumn is 3/4 gone la. haha!


aaanndd. this is a pic of my uni at the background at 5.19 p.m.




no it seriously is 5.19p.m. and not 7 or 8 or 9 pm.

and yes that big white thing is the moon.

=)

Currently Listening To: COD4 Music

I Just Have This Feeling

that this week is gonna be a horrible week.

cuz it sure started with a "blast" today.

Currently Listening To: Bad Day - Daniel Powter

Addicted to COD4

why?

cuz i jus basically gamed THE WHOLE NIGHT.

seriously.

sheesh.

but it was good. =)

plus i won my first game against pretty pro ppl. bangga! =D

Currently Listening To: Open Up The Gates - Planetshakers

Just Before Leaving

... he turned around and said,

"You deserve all this."

Spin

That look was priceless, don't let me get carried away.
I've seen it before, and it still suits you the same.
You catch on quick! (You catch on quick!)
As the cynics stop before they give the same reviews.
(You catch on quick!) You catch on quick!

I heard that this is where, where the party is.
Are you coming home? (Well, are you coming home?)
Are you coming home? (Well, are you coming home?)
You had your chance! (You had your chance!)
Open arms reject assuming hands. (Arms reject assuming hands.)
You had your chance! (You had your chance!)
Open arms reject assuming hands. (Arms reject assuming hands.)

The abortion that you had left you clinically dead,
And made it all that much easier to lie.
But it's nothing that I'm proud of. (No, it's nothing that I'm proud of.)
We're making an example out of you. (This is phase one.)
This is a preview. (This is phase one.)

I heard that this is where, where the party is.
Are you coming home? (Well, are you coming home?)
Are you coming home? (Well, are you coming home?)
You had your chance! (You had your chance!)
Open arms reject assuming hands. (Arms reject assuming hands.)
You had your chance! (You had your chance!)
Open arms reject assuming hands. (Arms reject assuming hands.)

Don't act like you're the first one,
I treat it like disease.
Sure, it's rough around the edges,
It's the only thing you see.

Don't act like you can't see me, darling.
Coming...
Don't act like you can't see me, darling.
Coming in...
Don't act like you can't see me, darling.
Coming in...
Dont act like you can't see me, darling.

You had your chance! (You had your chance!)
Open arms reject assuming hands. (Arms reject assuming hands.)
You had your chance! (You had your chance!)
Open arms reject assuming hands. (Arms reject assuming hands.)

You had your chance!
(Spin 'sugar' spin)
You had your chance!
You had your chance!

Spin

Currently Listening To: Spin - Taking Back Sunday

But It Doesn't Make Sense

why did i have that dream?

or rather, why did that happen in my dream?

hmmm.

Currently Listening To: Inside Out - Yellowcard

And Now I'm All Out

... of series to watch of course.

cuz Smallville season 7 just ended. and so did Lost season 4.

One Tree Hill season 5 is ending monday. and so is House season 4. sheesh.

Prison Break is coming back in september only. and Heroes is coming back who knows when.

so i'm all out of stuff to watch. i'm so not watching OC, or Grey's Anatomy or any lame pointless stuff.

BUT i'm watching Scrubs now. just finished season 1 and in the middle of season 2 now. jus another 5 more seasons!

so maybe i'll be occupied.... hmm.

k gtg. dinner!

and yes! i still have a mail to reply by today! i haven't forgotten! dun worry i'll get to it. haha! =P

Currently Listening To: When I Go Down - Relient K

Epic Win Song

seriously. i think this cud b like the best love song that i know. haha.

The Best Thing

It’s been a year
Filled with problems
But now you're here
Almost as if to solve them
And I can't live
In a world with out you now

All my life
I've been searching for you
How did I survive
In this world before you
Cause I don't want to live
Another day without you now

This is the best thing
The best thing that could be happening
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that its happening to you and me

All I want to have
Is all that you can give me
And I'll give right back
Everything I have in me
Cause nothing ever felt as right
As this does right now

I'll go back
To before we met
Try and erase the past
Try harder to forget
Cause nothing will ever be as good
As here and now

Cause when I looked into your eyes
And you dared to stare right back
You should've said nice to meet you, I'm your other half

This is the best thing
The best thing that could be happening
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that its happening

This is the best thing, the best thing
The best thing that could be happening, the best thing
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that its happening to you and me
The best thing is that its happening to you and me

I always knew I'd find someone
I never dreamt it'd be like this
Cause you've surpassed
All that I'd hoped for and ever wished
And I'm trying so hard
With all my heart and mind
To make your life as good as you've made mine

This is the best thing, the best thing
The best thing that could be happening, the best thing
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that its happening to you and me
The best thing is that its happening to you and me
The best thing is that its happening to you and me, the best thing

The best thing that could be happening, the best thing
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that its happening to you and me

Relient K

Currently Listening To: My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend - Relient K

Lefties, 'Sup

u know right, sometimes i think most lefties jus dun get the recognition they deserve.

why i'm saying this? cuz i like heard quite recently "oh u know right, David Cook, he's like so awesome. He can play a left handed guitar!"

err. okayy?? he's left handed so he plays a left handed guitar la. i'm right handed and i play a right handed guitar. how come i dun get recognition for that la?? it's the same thing whaaattt....

but then u say, but it's LEFT HANDED! then i ask u. how come u dun go, "hey look! that guy is writing with his left hand! thats sooo cool!" or "he's brushing his teeth with his left hand! wow!"

comeon la. seriously. left handed ppl use their left hand. nth fascinating abt it k. haha! and if u say guitar again, then i'll go back to me playing guitar again k.

so don't praise CERTAIN lefties. all are the same ok. all use their left hand. and playing a left handed guitar when ure left handed is just normal la k. he's not cooler than any other left hander. actually, come to think of it, when it comes to guitars, that wud make him not cool at all. think abt it, a lot of lefties play right handed guitars. now that's pro k. ok la not so pro. but what's pro is playing a right hand side guitar left handed. thaaaattt's pro.

k la. i'm babling away. bet u dun understand. but i guess the point i'm trying to say is, dun make something normal look cool. like David Cook playing a left handed guitar.
(Note: i'm a right hander, i dun know who the heck is David Cook, and i'm not trying to kenakan anyone. just something in my mind)

anywayy, in other news. i've been wondering right, everytime i greet ppl with the word 'sup i tend to get a response i nvr expect. even tho i get the response quite a lot.

so here's like a typical convo with me la and what i tend to expect.

Ben: Yo, 'sup.

You: 'Sup.

BUT, this is what i get quite often. and i end up stoning after the answer cuz i always dun expect it.

Ben: Hey, 'sup!

You: oh nth much/oh something awesome happened today!/erm the ceiling?

Ben: *stoneee......*

u see what i mean? like to me 'sup is like hi. like yo. i know la it originally comes from "What's Up". but when i say it i so dun mean it like that. haha! imagine like saying HI to someone and they reply with "oh nothing much has been happening with me". kinda surprising la. haha.

it's not wrong of course. jus that i somehow always dun expect it even if it's actually the right answer. weird la.

ya. thats all. i actually did some work tonight. not bad. and i watched Swordfish. quite a good movie.

k i need to go take out my contacts!

bye.

Currently Listening To: Everytime - Simple Plan

YES I'M PISSED OFF

WHY?

CUZ SOME SCREWED UP KID WAS CHECKIN MY FRIENDSTER WITH THEIR MOM THERE (FIRST OF ALL WHO IN THE HELL DOES SUCH A THING). AND THEN HAD LA TO CHECK THE EMO PICS ALBUM I HAD. AND THEN HAD LA TO LET THEIR MOM SEE.

AND THEN THAT MOM WENT AND ASKED MY MOM WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. LIKE I'M SOME NUT LA NOW. AND NOW MY PARENTS ARE WORRIED ABT ME.

GOSH! GOT NTH BETTER TO DO AND GET MY PARENTS WORRIED?! I AM OK! PLUS SOME ARE PICTURES FROM THE INTERNET!

SERIOUSLY LA, SCREW YOU FOR CHECKING MY FRIENDSTER WITH YOUR MOM AROUND WHO HAS TO GO GET WORRIED FOR NOTHING AND CAUSE MY PARENTS TO WORRY FOR NOTHING

JUST MIND YOUR OWN FREAKING BUSINESS CAN OR NOT?

WHEN I FIND OUT WHO.....

WAIT LAA...

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: THE WAR - ANGELS & AIRWAVES

I Guess It Depends Who You Are

like really. there are some ppl right, when they do well or get something good, somehow, even if you know you shouldn't feel that way, you will feel envious of them. envious of their success. envious of their blessings they receive.

it's like u will somehow in ur mind ask, why couldn't that be me. and this will sometimes happen even with best friends. it's weird isn't it. i know most of us won't want to feel that way among our friends. like it's just not right to envy ur friends who do well and think "oh why couldn't that be me." i mean, as friends we should be happy for them right? not jealous of them.

but i guess u can't blame urself. it's natural human behaviour i guess?

but there's something i realize, there's certain ppl, no matter how well they do, i won't be jealous of them. it's like i'll automatically be happy for them. i can think "wow! they did well! that's really awesome!" it's like a genuine feeling of happiness for them. like ure so happy ur friend did well for something or got something.

aih. dunno if i'm making sense la. anyway, i jus tot to myself, why do i feel like so happy when a normal feeling would be jealousy. the only answer i could come up with is because the person itself is just that awesome person. in the way they live their life, their attitude, the way they treat u, the way they treat others etc. basically cuz the person is jus awesome.

so i guess it just depends on the type of person u are la. like there's someone i know who did a tag and got over 20 comments for it. it shows that this person is awesome right for like so many comments to happen?

yea. i guess my mission is to become like that sorta person la. someone awesome as how i see them.

gahh. dunno if i'm making sense la. but ya. jus thoughts in my head.

Five Score And Seven Years Ago

i told u di. when it comes to music, i totally cannot tahan laaa..... my brain jus says yes to everything. and so today i bought ANOTHER CD. like seriously. that makes it 4 in this month. today's CD was:



yea. i mmg planned to buy la. cuz the songs in it are really good and nice.

but yea. i think i'll jus buy once a month from now on. need to control di. like seriously.

and this smoke smell thats sticks on my clothes can get pretty annoying. dunno why also. is it cuz i come into my room late? or is it the air around? or is it the places i've been? hmm. dun really know. weirdness.

haih. i still din do my math assignment. doing it today. hopefully. if not distracted.

k gtg.

Currently Listening To: I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

3k!

WOOOOHOOOOO!

i reached my 3k mark of songs! if i include the sample songs in my comp la. haha! cuz like now got 2989 songs of my own. and then plus the sample songs which have 11 songs, nicely 3k! haha.

and the album that made it 3k was OneRepublic's Dreaming Out Loud. which makes it 53 Full Albums (excluding the Christian Albums of course). also the 21st album i got off the hub and 25th album i got since coming to NZ. wah. quite bangga la. like so fast my music collection can grow. i wonder how big is it... brb.

whoa. 14Gb. not bad. quite little. so if 3k is 14GB, that means... each song is 4.7MB! wow thats huge... eh! why am i doing math la. i'm supposed to be chilling out now. ish. but i guess i'm supposed to be doing my math assignment now la. that's why. and u know what, yest i was supposed to do my math tutorial, and i ended up COD4-ing for 3 hours. crazy la. then when i was done, almost 11, i wanted to start it, then i ended up with this...



which ended only at 12 smth. crazy la. i'm like the king of wasting time. seriously. so i ended up doing 1 question and chatting.

but since i had to return the book at 9 the next morning, i just went to return it and renew it again so i cud do it in the library. and thankfully i managed to finish. haha. but i'm quite amazed with myself la. i mean i woke up at 7 smth and went to the library by 9 to go do work okay. BE PROUD OF ME! =P haha!

oh and for some reason i had a pimple (i think) on my eye lid today. so weird. i think i caused it when i couldn't put on my contacts cuz of the irritation in my eye. hmm. and cause of that i skipped my Math lecture and jus slept. and i woke up at 1.15 and rushed to lunch man. my hair must have been a bit of a mess la. cuz when i went there the lunch girl was like "Did you straighten your hair?" hmm. must be quite obvious eh. need to fix that out soon. haih. oh well.

Random Image!

oh and got back my chem marks. really grateful for them considering i din study much on account of my Egg separator project which was just messed up. got a 24 out of 39 for it. =/ haih. but i guess somehow i deserved that la. haih. but it's a horrible mark. oh ya my chem. got 48 out of 60. not bad la. right now, i'm jus aiming for a pass in all subs. not a high mark or anything.

and Chem lab was so fun today! =D not cuz of the lab la. it's the ppl. and the "member" guy. haha. this is one of the reasons Malay is such a cool language. haha!

hmm. most prob i'll get my math test marks tmrw. hopefully it goes well.

k i shud go now, need to start my Math assignment as soon as i finish my important stuff since i was out at ppls room wasting time b4 this. haha. so for now, i'll leave u with my desktop pic which i find pretty cool. it was drawn buy some guy from DA. really awesome. for those of u who dunno, it's Venom from Spiderman. or at least some version of him la. haha.



bye!

p.s.: i've put up some polls for u guys to do. please feel free to jus click on ur choice and submit. thx!

Currently Listening To: Prodigal - OneRepublic

Something From Dana's Blog

Nothing lasts forever...
So live it up
Laugh it off
Drink it down
Avoid the bullshit
Take chances
Never have regrets

Because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted.

hmm. interesting don't you think?

Currently Listening To: That's How Love Should Be - Tyler Hilton

GILER SCARY!

elsheba says:
some aunty in church said ur very emo in ur blog. 0.0

woi! apesal my blog so famous and i dunno one!?

scary! my blog is not to be read by ppl i dunno la k. ish.

Currently Listening To: All At Once - The Fray

The Pain Is Slowly Killing Me

i miss my baby so so much.

it hurts. every song i listen i hurt. it really sucks la. haihh...

i want my guitar so so badly. =(




Currently Listening To: Explode - Sugarcult

Thanks

and sorry. i should have known better.

Currently Listening To: Still Falling (A Town Called Hypocrisy Demo) - Lostprophets

So It's Not Lost After All

(c) ACIDMEAT

yes! my blade wasn't lost.

i thought i accidently threw it away. which would be quite dumb. but it had to be the only explaination cuz i searched my whole room.

and guess where i found it! in my pencil box. sheesh.

ok ok. it's obvious i have nothing to say and i'm jus wasting time. but ya. i found my blade! =D

k i should go sleep soon la then. nth to do di. haha.

Currently Listening To: Fields Of Gold - Sting

It's Like Something Is Trying To Get Through

but it's like i'm in some weird way avoiding it.

weird.

anyway, i think it's kinda annoying the way i have so many assignments. like every week okay! seriously. every week there is an engineering assignment. and next week i'm getting a Math assignment. plus on top of that there is Math tutorial and Chem lab to do. can't really complain much as i dun have physics like the others la. and i also dun get the Chem at all. and Math is pretty ok la. quite hard.

somehow la Engr became busy and stressful. what changed since last term? The term. weird eh.

but tonight i'm free. at this moment i'm deciding what to do. whether to go out or watch movie in my room.

hmm.

Currently Listening To: I Want You To Know - Planetshakers

You Have All The Time In The World

until you don't have any time left. and it's too late.

sometimes i always wonder why ppl like to keep things til the last minute but they don't really know when is the last minute. so they end up being too late to fix anything or make things better. oh well.

i wonder who let it out too. curious la. can guess who la. but it's sorta expected, yet totally unexpected. and on that other thing also. i so knew la. k la. can't talk so much cuz it's like obvious and everyone knew it was gonna happen. it's like saying oh there will be morning tmrw. ya. like that obvious la. so the person who said that morning was never gonna come, heh, u know la what all ur words mean.

and i'm feeling happy today. no idea why. prob cuz i was right again. i tend to always be. maybe cuz i state the obvious? but today is a crazy day. din do half my tutorial. forgot to sign up for Skills Test 2. forgot to go to the Skills Test 2 Practice. need to do the EWB part for my group. then hopefully the chem online quiz too. then got the assignment 6 too. got 3 emails to reply. 1 to send out.

yes i'm damn busy. it kinda sucks la. cuz like have to do a lot of work. haihhh. plus i have no idea whats happening in Chem class.

and despite all this! i'm happy? ok. someone needs to call the crazy ambulance. haha.

oh and i got another One Tree Hill quote. think it can suit me. thats why i like it. oh and if u havent seen the episode and want surprise when u watch it, skip this part k.

Nathan: I'm sorry you're dying, but you have to know. I can never forgive you. Not now, not ever.
Dan: So that's it? You're gonna make that decision?
Nathan: No Dan. You made that decision for me. The moment you pulled the trigger.

well. it's true isn't it. the actions you make today will decide how your future turns out. So when you decide, at least you know you did what you wanted and had to. so no regrets right? :)

i'm still bummed out abt that dream i had. i was gonna say devastated. but i guess that would be exaggerating a tiny bit. but ya. haih. it was so real. and it was so awesome! haih. but i think the worst part was that it was so real. jus imagine, ure sitting here reading this post now. that's how real it is. and the next moment you know, you're waking up from your bed. and it sucks even more when prob the gr8est thing that could have happened to you was in that dream which was so real. haih.

but i guess it all makes sense in the end la. like why would she be in a football restaurant if she knew nothing about football. like how could i find this dream girl there. like it din match la. plus i guess that it being a dream is prob the reason why i nvr got her name or number. and why would my parents be there? and why in a black car? and why was that someone in the back seat? there were so many things that din make sense. BUT it still felt so real. so so real. i would seriously give anything to be that happy again. haih.

Nothing is what is seems i guess.





haih.

Currently Listening To: Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve

Pagi Pagi Sudah Depressed

cuz there i was. eating alone at some restaurant. apparently is was some football (soccer) restaurant. the waiters were dressed as referees.

then suddenly out of nowhere, she saw me sitting alone and she came and joined me. we ended up talking about everything. it was just awesome. she was fun, cool, sexy, naughty, bold, daring, confident... somehow she just seemed perfect. in all ways.

we talked abt football too. it seemed like she knew nth abt it. so i explained it to her. how the game goes and who is who. i found it weird that she nvr heard of Man U b4. but it didn't matter. it just meant there was more to explain. and i was glad to talk to her abt it too. it's like the more i talked the closer i got to knowing her.

i mean it sure seemed weird that she knew nth abt football and yet was in a football restaurant. then i figured, she prob did know, she just wanted to hear me talk abt it. that itself was awesome in it's own way.

we even talked about ice cream. she was telling me abt the different grades of the ice cream and stuff. found it interesting in it's own way. and i guess this was my time to enjoy her talking.

then we left. we walked out and were heading to our cars. i asked her where was she from, cuz she didn't look like she was from around here. she said Hanukai. i thought of Hawaii at first. but it didn't make sense. so somehow i just accepted it.

suddenly i reach the car park area and i see my family there. in the car. with someone else behind too. i was shocked. how did they know i was here? and oh no. they saw me with her! i'm sure in for questioning now.

so now my fam's car were right in front of us. and i moved to the other side of the car and was trying to explain things and ask what in the world they were doin here. my mom on the other side was asking her a bunch of questions. apparently she didn't like the answers.

the next thing u know i was forced into the car and they drove off. i was super upset. i didn't get to say bye to her! i didn't get her number yet! i was supposed to have got it! i was pretty much mourning the rest of the journey. i kept looking out through the back window. hoping that she would be able to catch up.

the whole time i didn't feel anything for anything around me. i didn't care for the tears being shed next to me, i didn't care for the anger my parents had for me for her. nothing mattered anymore. all i wanted was her. and as long as i didn't have her, nothing mattered. i felt empty and shattered. the one awesome perfect person i find, and now i don't have her. she just seemed to have slipped out of my fingers. how could this have happened?

but then the car stopped. apparently there was an accident in front of us. i got out of the car. i looked back hoping to see her still. i didn't give up hope just yet. and i'm so glad i didn't. cuz she came. in her sleek black car. she got out, and we ran and embraced each other. it was the best hug of my life. it felt like the happiest day in my life. it's like i haven't seen her for years. i only knew her for a few hours, yet it felt like she was the best thing that happened to me. i was in love. it was obvious. and i didn't care if noone liked her. she's who i want. that's all that mattered.

this time i wudn't screw up. i asked her for her number. she gave me a sort of letter. there were all kinds of stuff in it. stuff that made me smile for the words she said. made me feel like i was someone. like i was wanted. that she wanted me. it felt great! reading what she had to say made me feel like i was on top of the world. like nothing could tear me down.

she even mentioned ppl i knew in the letter. but how did she know them? another weird thing. but it didn't matter once again. i had her again. but the next thing i know, i see my sis snapping rudely to my dad. and my dad didn't even respond much.

wait that's not possible. he shud have responded. what's goin on? the only place this would ever happen is..... if this was a dream......





right at that point, i woke up.

no!

no no no no no no. no! NO! this can't be happening!

argh! it was all a DREAM!

the time was prob 6 smth. almost 7. i jus lay there. EXTREMELY disappointed. how could it be a dream? she was PERFECT! =( why is it a dream? it's not fair! how could she not exist? she has to exist. she just has to. everything feels better when she's around. no no no! this can't have happened! =(

i jus lay in bed til 7.30. still disappointed. disappointed the whole time i was awake. no point trying to sleep too. to disappointed to do so. cuz the gr8est thing that happened to me, wasn't real. but it felt so real. so so real. this can't be happening.

argh! >=(

damn babi stress la. i still hate that it's a dream. hate hate hate it so much!

haih. life is cruel.

somehow i just keep having dreams of awesome girls la. ppl i can be happy with. why can't they be real? ish.

BABI DAMN EMO LA!

Currently Listening To: Summer Girls - LFO

Those One Tree Hill Quotes

Lucas: (voiceover) Sometimes when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you, it's like being invincible... your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans, big plans... to find your perfect match... the one that completes you... but as you get older, you realise its not always that easy... its not until the end of your life that you realise that the plans you made were simply plans… because at the end when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you, you want to believe that you're leaving something good behind… you want it all to have mattered.

Haley: Peyton are you really in love with Lucas or are you just in love with the
idea of Lucas?

Lindsey: I can't blame you, Peyton.
Peyton: Please do, blame me, 'coz it would make me feel better.
Lindsey: I can't, it's not your fault, because I could have said yes.

thx to Tv.com for the quotes.

p.s.: i think u'll like the first one la Dana. haha.

Currently Listening To: Wherever You Will Go - The Calling

Fact Or Fiction

Hello again may I help you remember
Why we're here and what were fighting for
We've seen the best and the worst of each other
And you're relentless in your search for more
Just take a minute put your heart where your head is
Take another to collect your thoughts
It's time to question is this really all worth it
Or are we simply tearing this apart
Falling over once again
Blinded I am

I can't tell fact from fiction
To me it's all the same
Instead create some friction
That's not enough to make me stay

Let's take a step back and do this the right way
Cause I've been waiting for a chance to speak
Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to lecture
I hate to argue when I'm low on sleep
It's just lately I've been having this feeling
I'm not the only name that's on your mind
I think it's best that we both go our own way
And forget about this wasted time
Falling over once again
Blinded I am

I can't tell fact from fiction
To me it's all the same
Instead create some friction
That's not enough to make me stay

Fiction
But you don't seem to care
Instead create some friction
That's not enough

I can't tell fact from fiction
To me it's all the same
Instead create some friction
That's not enough to make me stay

Sound The Alarm

macam baca minda i je..

Currently Listening To: Fact Or Fiction - Sound The Alarm

Maxis Can Be Really Weird

first they stole my idea for Activ10 and gave me no credit for it.

then when i come here, i can't check my balance. i asked the lady why? she said it's cuz my balance expired. ish.

then i find out there is no way to check ur balance except through ur phone. so how do i do that if i can't check my balance through the phone?? sheesh.

then i can't get some, i would say, important msges when i out my sim card in until they were sent again when the phone was using the sim card. bangang la.

and then! now when i put in the sim card, and i press *122# to check my balance, CAN! what??! i seriously dun get it. so now they show my balance and tell me to top up by 1st June so my number doesn't get cancelled. =_=" oh btw, if anyone did msg my Maxis num, i din get it either. the only msges i did get were from Maxis. dumb right? the most unimportant ones i get. sheesh.

and i jus checked my vodafone balance. 4.26! WHAT!? i jus topped up 10 bucks on monday! giler. no idea how it went down so fast. cuz msges here are like practically free la to vodafone. so i'm guessing that it's prob all my 3 pages msges to ppls in diff countries la. i think i need to cut that down. of course i can't stop la. haha! but slow down a bit.

and it's abt 3C now outside. think i'm gonna bathe, sleep and wake up and online later. haha! see how.

OOOOOHHH! i forgot one more thing. remember the Anberlin album i bought? apparently it was even more worth it than i thought. cuz (*Fin) isn't actually 6 mins. it's like 8 mins. got like some Hidden Track after 6 minutes. cool right? worth it giler.

oh and thank goodness i din buy Panic's Pretty. Odd.. cuz i heard it and it's not that nice la. a bit too boring for my taste. oh well. so yea. the girl at the shop was right la. it was weird. like they're a whole totally diff band. but she ended up liking it. but i can't see me doing the same.

k. bathe!

Currently Listening To: Camisado - Panic! At The Disco

Misunderstanding Or Excuse?

Make You Smile

The last time I saw you, you turned away
(I couldn't see you with the sun shining in my eyes)
I said "Hello" but you kept on walking
(I'm going deaf from the sound of the freeway)

The last time I saw you, you turned away
(I couldn't hear with your voice ringing in my ears)
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
(I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away)

The first time I saw you, you turned away
(I couldn't see you with the smoke getting in my eyes)
I said "Hello" but you kept on walking
(I'm going deaf from the sound of the DJ)

The first time I saw you, you turned away
(I couldn't hear with the noise ringing in my ears)
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
(I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away)

[Mark & Carol]
I don't, don't wanna take you home
Please don't, don't make me sleep alone
If I could, I'd only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while

The next time I see you, you'll turn away
I'll say "Hello" but you'll keep on walking
(The next time you see me, I'll turn away)
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
(I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away)

[Mark & Carol]
I don't, don't wanna take you home
Please don't, don't make me sleep alone
If I could, I'd only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while

I don't, don't wanna take you home
Please don't, don't make me sleep alone
If I could, I'd only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while

+44 feat Carol Heller

Because there are always 2 sides too a story. and if you don't hear the other side, you can't really judge.

Currently Listening To: Make You Smile [Feat. Carol Heller] - +44

HDD

was talking to Jin last night abt getting a external hard drive. cuz like i'm running out of space. actually he wanted to get one cuz he's running out of space. but i now feel bad. cuz i compared to him i dun deserve it also. he has 120Gb of space and is left with 9Gb only from all his music.

and this is me



ya. i got A LOT of space. and yet i'm down to 10Gb. why?? i blame the 60 smth almost 70 movies i have. a possible 30 series. and also the 8 or 9 games on my comp. and also the almost 3k songs. so ya. maybe i shud cut down on some stuff. like seriously. haha.

oh and i can't tahan music. like seriously cannot say no one. why? cuz during my one hour lecture break, i went to Riccarton Mall. andd.......


ya. haha! basically i went there to look for Panic!'s album la. the one i wanted to buy like i said that day. and ya. then i found it. and then i was looking around la. was gonna go off di then i turned and looked behind me and they have that "Shop Assistant Reccomendations" and Cities was there. so ya la. where can tahan di. took only. haha! spent altogether 45NZD on music today alone. haha. but worth it! esp worth it when u buy and then in the lyrics song book u read this:

Thank you for buying this music and for supporting the artists, songwriters, musicians and others who've created it and made it possible. Please remember that this recording and artwork are copyrighted by law. Since you don't own the copyright, it's not yours to distribute. Please don't use internet services that promote the illegal distribution of copyright music, give away illegal copies of discs or lend discs to others for copying. It's hurting the artists who created the disc. It has the same effect as stealing a disc from a store without paying for it.

Anberlin, Cities Lyrics Book

cool right? so ya. i think i MAY follow this. so ya, don't ask to pinjam the CD from me to copy it from me la. it's not nice. esp cuz i hope to be a future famous guitarist in some rock band. i don't want ppl to not buy my CD too. it hurts. so ya! def worth it! plus support them la.

and i remember what Peter said. smth abt buying back all the music he's downloaded. one day. and i think i will wanna do that too. like slowly buy back as the course of my life goes along la. plus stealing is not good la. and i like buying original stuff and supporting artists. even if some ppl say i'm crazy to do so and i shud jus be happy with downloading. i'm contented knowing i'm doing what's right. :)

oh and one quote i find nice from OTH yest is when Nathan asks Lucas abt his shirt thing.

Nathan: Haley said u tried on like 8 shirts today.
Lucas: It was 5 shirts. and that's privileged best friend information!
Nathan: Well, i got the husband privilege card. heh.
Lucas: good point

quite cool la. i mean for me i hope i can find someone liddat la. like a partner who will tell me everything la. no secrets and stuff. even if it is abt other ppl. yeah. oh well.

and it's also funny how diff ppl become when they hang with diff ppl. if they hang with ppl who dun like u, it's like somehow, they'll stop talking to u they way they used to. interesting la.

and another annoying thing is how noone will tell me things i shud know. i mean i feel like i dun really have that friend la. like someone who is totally like MY friend. like if someone said smth abt me, they'll come tell me. like if someone close to me is doing smth wrong, they'd tell me. or maybe if someone told them, "oh dun tell Ben this." and it's smth i shud know they would tell me. even if it's smth i dun HAVE to know, they would still tell me. everyone is just too busy trying to protect all their friends. k la. i'm prob being selfish wanting an exclusive friend la. someone who wud tell me everything. even the gossips. and not too busy worrying whether i SHOULD or SHOULDN'T know. or what it would mean to others if they told me. i guess i want an unconditional friend? but i guess it's jus impossible to come by la. oh well. prob one of those times i'm hoping for too much from my friends.

or prob i jus need a wife la. ;)

oh well. life's like that i guess.

and for the OTH Ep 515: Life Is Short Quotes for Ms. Dana Lee:

Brooke: Do you ever wanna go back? I remember being sixteen and everything just seemed much easier. Would you do it differently?
Lucas: Hmm… I'd try and appreciate the things I took for granted, but… I think we have to go through all of this stuff, you know, to get to the places we want to be.

ok la. maybe not so many gr8 quotes and stuff. and got more la. i still have to find it. so ya. wait la Dana. haha!

ok i think i'm gonna watch my House now. =D

bye!

Currently Listening To: Here's Your Letter - blink-182

p.s.: yeap. this song still does remind me.

Here's a letter for you,
but the words can confuse,
then the conversation dies.
Apologise for the past,
Talk some shit, take it back
Are we cursed to this life?

blink-182